World of Warcraft™

<Your Move Chap> is now recruiting gentlemen of the highest caliber!

Our requirements include ownership of a monocle, a top hat, a pipe made of ivory from only the most endangered of whales, and at least one priceless piece of art. Only wealthy landowners need apply.

-Our guild activities include wine-tasting, chess, and throwing crystal wine glasses at poor people (other types of glasses simply are not aerodynamic enough and tend to not break on impact).

-Our guild bank is located far from the greasy peasant banks that others use and holds many sophisticated items; here is a preview of what our wine cellar holds: http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/7931/wineceller.jpg

-Our raiding achievements include paying other guilds to have the pleasure of our company during boss fights.

-Our player versus player activities include dueling with pistols and fencing.

-Our guild level is one because we simply cannot be bothered with a petty ranking system when we are clearly superior.

Some of you may be wondering why my esteemed colleague, Gum, and myself are alliance. Here is an explanation re-enacted by the finest actors in all of Azeroth: http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/5097/tohellandback.jpg

http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/2060/guildflag.jpg

Edit: Sorry, we are now full on man servants.

One moment, I seem to have lost my diamond studded codpiece in my pit of money again. Ah, yes, <Your Move Chap>'s revival marks a turning point in the lack of class previously displayed by the alliance of Shattered Hand. Our elegance shall blot out the sun!

Note: Due to a massive influx of players to the alliance side that Lord Rettle and myself were not aware of (we simply cannot be bothered with the doings of the bourgeoise), we may be returning to the horde as our talents would be better spent teaching the less populated side. this issue will be discussed during the next high gentleman's council.

so hows that going?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_NKOhTSV7M

I must say, I was rather distraught when I came across these fine patricians, I thought for sure I was the most noble and decadent of the land, what other could surpass me? Oh, how sorely foundered I was to see how minuscule I was in the light of my superiors. If I could have such a pleasure to be in the presence of such esteemed company, I thought to myself, my monocle dangling, my top hat askew. What could I do to prove myself to such worthy masters of the art of geniality?

If you are one of the chosen few, I envy you. I would trade a thousand of the lives I lead just for the chance to be one of they, them, the fine ones.

Oh thank the heavens. These other outfits are full of mongrels (and who would want to be a part of that?), it is not by accident that they all welcome parvenuism, and we all know about them, the nouveau-riche, their practiced elegant banter causes me to squirm and ache until I finally succumb to fits of screaming and writhe. I tell you here and now, if I shall ever escape the company of this horde filth, I WILL join you, and together, lay waste to ALL of these arriviste swine.
However, until that day comes, I'm going to ride this w hore-Beast, Monocle and all and perhaps, with any luck, I'll beat it into submission. For good or ill.
And the thought that ye fine men are out on the greener grass, putting croquet and sipping brandy, well, that puts a warm feeling in my stomach just thinking about it. Keep it up, you great men of honor. Keep it up.

My my, when at first I chanced upon these unknown patricians I was on the qui vive, believing them to be baseborn commoners, or frauds you might say. However after meeting with these fine gentlemen I can now say in good taste that these fine aristocrats are indeed brimming with manners and wealth!

<Your Move Chap> has brought a virgin meaning to proper and eloquent. Spending the day relishing acclamatory wines succeeded by disposing of the crystal glasses in a rousing game of "Who can hit the youngest peasant with the wine glass" (Women and the disabled are extra points)!

I must say, discovering <Your Move Chap> has indeed instigated a new chapter in my life.

By Jove, it seems it's that time again. The illustrious duo is opening the floodgates; some of you lucky natives of the Hand may be fortunate enough as to enter the ranks of <Your Move Chap> - a fraternity of the absolute highest calibre. My greatest lament is my inability to even audition for a position in their cabinet; alas, I have chosen the theatre as my one true passion and thus find myself eternally bound to the manifold stages of my home, merely representing the great fictional heroes of our time: Playtimezova, Battleknight, ßàdàss, and other great legends of fable and lore.

While my life-changing performances require astute observance of customs, diligent study of my inferiors (also known as my audience - ho ho!), and no small amount of coin tendered toward my growing narcotics addiction, you unkempt blighters have the chance to interact with REAL living legends - it would not be an overstatement to declare that Gum and his compatriot truthfully invented culture itself! Granted, culture originally consisted solely of guffawing whilst dashing once-sipped wineglasses into the faces of children, but the point stands.

What truly irks me, the question that really gets me in a tizzy, is why in the name of all things holy did their lordships feel the need to bend their necks, peer down on the commonwealth and peruse you lot in their search. At BEST Shattered Hand is a nation of unworthy savages flopping about in the rain trying to understand why your monkey god is peeing on you. I would bet my left mansion that that not ONE of you indignant whelps has sampled a vintage of even a mere thousand years of age. In fact, I declare without a moment's hesitation that you undeserving cretins, you slack-jawed hill folk, you inbreeding ingrates, you ... you...NEW MONEY... pardon me, that was uncalled for - but still I would wager none of you applicants have even hunted your first orphan.

As you can tell by my scowl off to your left, my displeasure with this situation is only paralleled by the finery of my garb.

In closing, let me assure you serfs, that your dreams of aligning with the highest order of class, dignity, and male fashion... ARE GOING NOWHERE.

My fine sir! While I must first commend your acting (he truly is a master - his rendition of the late Nakoichi is magnificent) and must also dutifully note that your hair is most definitely in vogue -I must protest your furious bluster! While your points about the quality, character and fanciful nature of the 'Chaps are spot on, your condescending tone simply will not do.

Look into the past, think of a time long ago - before the using wine for toilet water, before we used people for a currency in Life Size Monopoly - think back to the humble beginning. The illustrious duo was merely... well I guess they were still playboy billionaire land-owners with a penchant for mink drowning.

Perhaps that point is invalid.

Nonetheless, I feel that the hopes of the young up-and-comers must not so be hastily trounced! After all, many of these folks have open minds and big hearts. And at the very least we should not deprive their lordships of a chance to reverse such maladies! I promise you, wise druid, that even the scowl on your countenance will meld into a ... softer scowl ... when you watch a new 'Chap member complete the age-old initiation ritual of consummating a commoner's marriage upon his wedding night.

I say to you citizens of Shattered Hand, do not let go of your feeble dreams! Perhaps you could join these illustrious ranks.

So I say to you, future upper-upper class, have faith! With a little luck and a !&#$load of bribes there is hope! You're goin' places. I know it.

Were I naught but a lowly strumpet, I would jump at the chance to join their ranks. Fate is a cruel mistress though; now I am lowered to %$@!ing their %$#@s with my %^$@ while they ^%&$@ all over the %$@# right into the caviar pit where I have to %@#$ while I %@#$ and $@# all over the %$@#, encrusted with the rarest of jewels, where finally, I %@#$ the %@#$ and wipe the @%@# off of the golden tipped peasant-beating stick.

If only I had been born into a lavish life of gold, silver, and mega gold as these individuals were. Sometimes I fantasize that I'm not just %@#$ing for scraps of their half-eaten Balut, but then I remember, there is simply no way, even in my wildest dreams, that I can reach their lofty heights. Maybe someday when they aren't too busy throwing their gold bullion bars at their pure-bred racing stallions for sport, or enriching the community by breeding with our lowly peasant women, I, Howdys Ailor, will have the courage to tell them how I truly feel. Until that time I shall continue to sing their praises and dream of a different life where I found myself so lucky as to exist among them.
Good night, and goodbye sailors.

I met these fine chaps at the edge of the yacht club, and, let me tell you, their wealth even surpasses my massive pot of gold (no pun intended.) How nice it is to have such gentlemen in this fine world because normal people.. they.. they're... th... THEY'RE ALWAYS AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS! Who can blame them... I mean.. they're Magically Delicious! But these great chaps did not even try to touch my charms of luck. In fact, I even saw Lord Gum of the long line of Gums scoff at me lucky charms. We spent our time together enjoying the richer things of life which spans from laughing at the US dollar to taking our duty to invoke prima nocta. I look upon Shattered Hand with jealousy throbbing through my veins at the thought of being able to join in the ranks of <Your Move Chap> ...

[Yourmoveboyo pauses. Then with eyes closed and a hand upon his forehead reveals a slight smirk on his face.]

I close with this Shattered Hand; Now with and Pink Hearts, Orange Stars, Yellow Moons, Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds, and Purple Horseshoes!

And now with new Red Balloons!

PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN PWN

Well, summer has begun. Obviously I am casually late as all the finer rich people, or "richies" as we call them, are. It's time to go to my summer mansion that is far beyond Shattered Hand. My gardener and winter butler will maintain our my winter mansion. If you stop by, please treat them poorly as only a richie should. In conclusion, being a richie makes you just better.

Can I... Am I... permitted to speak sir?

08/28/2011 04:12 AMPosted by Blackqtpie

Can I... Am I... permitted to speak sir?

Well, you spoke. Do you think with the amount of power we have that we would let that happen if it weren't permitted?

Well, you spoke. Do you think with the amount of power we have that we would let that happen if it weren't permitted?

*quivers in her lil boots* Ahh.. yes.. of course *covers herself in dirt and returns to the earth*

I come to warn you of these two bloated fat cats and they're misleading reputation. I too had heard great things about Rettlè and Gum and was excited when I was offered a gig at Two's seventh birthday party. In case you don't know, Rettlè named all his children numbers instead of names, and, if you didn't guess already, I'm a clown. I apologize if any of you are coulrophobes, but I had to speak against what the rest of these fools have said about Rettlè and Gum. When I first met them I had waited 5 hours in the lobby of their house in Bangkok before I was asked to wait to go on stage. I was a bit frustrated at this point, but I shrugged it off because I was going to preform on the great <Your Move Boyo> stage. I wait as I watch great performers such as Chris Angel, Frank Sinatra Jr, and Daniel Tosh. Then it was my turn and, in my humble opinion, it was one of my best performances. That's when it started to go downhill. Strippers got in stage in front of the children, and Gum and Rettlè started snorting... well you get the idea. It was less than appropriate. I was disgusted with these things enough, but when I went to get my check for the performance Rettlè spit in my face and tossed the four grand I asked for. I hope you would not approve of these... men. They are dead inside and not worth the approval they seem to get.

Poppycock! I'll not have some ridiculous clown tarnish <Your Move Chap>'s good name. Now take a step back, you insufferable wretch of a peasant, you reek of child lust and AIDs. I shall ask but once for you to return to that glory-holing trick-turning !@#$% of a mother from whence you came. I would also like to add that your balloon act was neither tasteful nor subtle. Your crass phallic gestures have no place in our vision of the world.
Now run along scamp, I've places to go and mundane items to dip in my gold vat.

Uh... the time has come, my lil friends, to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax... and cabbages and... kings! And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings! Callooh, callay, no work today.... We're... uh.... !@#$, can't remember what kinda things we are except the richest men in the world.

http://www.warcraftmovies.com/movieview.php?id=209825

lol, i heard you quit and went to mexico

Are you the "Jesse "The Body" Ventura" of WOW?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve5us7ckfmk&ob=av3n