Things you don't want to hear healing PuGs 3

8 Orc Shaman
Ugh. I just dropped group from a horrible H GB. Tank was mostly in 358 pvp gear; the few pieces that were meant for pve were gemmed with pure stamina. Everything was unenchanted. Dk dps was okay (8k dps, eh), and there were two warlocks who were doing 4k and 5k. Surprisingly I'm not having THAT much trouble healing the tank (despite no cc), but the low low dps is just making each pull take foreverrrr. After like ten minutes we get to the first boss. Purple trogg comes out and starts beating on me. No one does anything so I hex it and leave it be for a good minute or so (dps was still low so this was taking forever...). Eventually the tank breaks the hex and kills the trogg. On any NORMAL geared tank, this would not have been a problem. But spamming GHWs is not enough and in the space of one cast time, he goes from full to dead and we wipe. Then this occurs:

Tank: What were we doing with the trogg?
Me: I had it hexed, someone broke it.
Tank: Why didn't you re-hex?
Me: Can't, 45 second cooldown
Tank: Kite it then
Me: /drops group

I mean, I suppose I COULD kite it... or you could just not break my hex.
85 Tauren Druid
I wanted valor points, but I didn't want to have to work too hard, so I randomed into a normal heroic on my firelands - geared resto shaman. It was grim batol, and the group (four guildies) had just wiped on the first trash pull.

The tank was squishy and the dps was low, but we cleared to the first boss. I was a bit slow to see that none of the dps were handling the trogg, so I didn't manage to hex it until it was in melee range of the tank, where it was broken immediately. I actually healed through the trogg beating on the tank the whole fight. We proceeded to the second boss, who was accidentally pulled while we were handling the trash. When he became encumbered, the tank didn't kite and just melted. I popped earth elemental and kept that up for a bit but after it died I didn't have much luck keeping up dps. The dps were running around (except while the boss was encumbered) and weren't doing much in the way of damage - they kept getting picked off. Wiped with 700 hp left on the boss.

At that point, I decided I was done. I don't mind wipes, and I will always do my best to explain an encounter if asked, but I don't like wiping with people who don't even bother to try to understand the boss mechanics.

Edit for grammar.
Edited by Janicia on 9/6/2011 6:39 AM PDT
85 Draenei Priest
This past weekend after drawing nothing but idiots for ZA/ZG, I decide to do some regular Cata Heroics to redeem the all important Pug.... which one did a get? Heroic Deadmines....the one and only fight I hate is Cookies. Why? not because it is difficult, but because the last half dozen or so times that I've ran it, no one eats the food....

The run starts smoothly. The pally tank is blowing and going, rocking his cooldowns, keeping aggro like a champ. Doing so well I really do not even notice the dps for the most part until cookie....

Fight starts out, dps is just wailing away, i'm running to and fro, rocking out with mainly PoM and IF PoH. Doing my thing, clicking on a good food, then bad food. At first I think that is what everyone is doing, then I notice I'm running out of space to stand where I'm not taking steady damage. The next thing I know the deck is full of green, dps health is dropping like crazy, I can't find a place to stand still to get off any big heals so i'm resorting to all my instant cast spells trying to keep people up. I quickly glance at recount, see the tank is doing pretty good dps, check my mana, see i'm below 30% and cookie still has about 40% life left. So I say forget it, let the dps die, pop my imp and hymn, recharge mana and the tank and I finish the fight. I die right at the end, the tank survives via Lay of Hands. He rezzes us all, the only dps to say a word is the DK.

I get a "WTH? Healz?" I say, "Tank is priority and besides I can't heal thru stupid. Nobody ate the food."
DK, "If you can't healz stupid, then you shouldn't be healzing!"
me: "Seriously?"
tank: "Healer is right. You have to eat the food to keep the poison down."
DK: "whateverz"

Same DK died in the Mario room. again got, "WTH Healz?"
Once again, I can't heal stupid.

Then that same DK fell off the boat during the end fight and died piped up, "Come on! Where's my battle rez healz? Noob!"..... me: "Seriously?.....Not a druid stupid"
Rest of the group in party: "LMAO!"
85 Tauren Druid
I always read these threads and chuckle but can't remember my own stories. Suddenly I'm remembering them!

I am pretty sure I fought Cookie with a bunch of dps who knew about eating the good food, but didn't know why they were supposed to eat it. The good food kept disappearing really fast while the bad food kept piling up...
90 Orc Shaman
I was bored and decided to do a normal heroic for the hell of it. I get Stonecore. Now, I already hate this place with a passion, but I decide to stick it out.

DK tank, Mage, Boomkin, and a Ret

Orzuk: This boss is the reason I hate this place so much. His reflective shield goes off and the mage spell steals it before anyone can DoT themselves. We're frozen in place and the tank gets hit by something and takes a ton of damage. Okay, we're unfrozen now and I heal the tank up. Same thing happens again and again. The boss is no closer to dying. Everyone is near death from slams and whatnot, so I stop healing.

Mage: Why the @#$#@ can't you keep us alive? you'd think with your gear you'd be better.

Me: 1. You're pulling 3k dps. How is that even possible? 2. You're spell stealing the shield before I can dot myself.

Mage: I have to do damage, I'm DPS or are you too stupid to know that? We can't do damage with it on him.

Me: I'm well aware of how this boss works. You, clearly aren't. If I can't dot myself, I get frozen and can't do my job. Frankly, your 3k dps isn't even making a dent in his health so just stop spell stealing like a retarded monkey and let the people who know what they're doing carry you to the finish like usual.

Tank: Mage, you heard the lady. If she gets frozen again because of not being dotted, you will die.

Mage: Whatever I have ice block

Tank pulls, mage spell steals immediately and I'm frozen. I get a whisper from the tank saying to move away from the mage. I run away cause I know exactly what he's going to do. He turns the boss and manages to take out both the Boomkin and Mage with one spike. I laugh and we 3man the rest of Orzuk.

Next boss, the mage gets hit by a boulder. Boomie rezzes him and they both take the next boulder to the face. Boss dies, and I leave the mage there to rot.

Edit: Normally, I carry Sulfuron Slammer for situations like this, but it gets annoying to have to heal the rest of this place with a fuzzy screen.
Edited by Sòngs on 9/6/2011 7:10 AM PDT
85 Draenei Priest
This actually happened to me last night:
Healing ZG...

*Tank runs in, aggros 3 pens of cats...I start healing into the 18K hps range, lose one of the DPS...OOM before she shifts to Bethekk because I am trying to keep everyone alive so we can get through this...with one group of cats left*

Tank: Oh, I didn't know that would happen..And Why did the druid die?
me: They kinda do a bleed effect that stacks,,and does a lot of damage.
Tank: What, you can't heal through it?
me: *banging head on desk* Dude, I did. Why do you think I trinked and mana tide totemed? DO you have power bars turned on for your frames?
Tank: Why?
me: *considering a Neck Punch*

This is very similar to what happened to me this weekend. My guildie pally tank and I are running this for the first time together. My guildie doesn't have the highest health pool in the world, but he has plenty of mitigation to make healing him a breeze. We get to the cat pens, the run has been fine up to this point. For dps we have a dk, hunter, & mage. The fight is explained and we begin the pull. Everything is going smoothly till the dps do not move away from the pens and forget to avoid the wave. Bleed stacks, i'm pushing my heals to the limit, we wipe. Second pull, same thing happens, dps do not move, we wipe again. DK says Let me tank I can get my health to about 220k health. Mage starts in on the hunter about avoiding the wave. We say tanking isn't the issue, dps needs to move out of wave and stay clear of the cats. DK offers to OT the cats, after a little bit of persuasion we agree to him OT. First minute or so of fight, looks like this will work till the DK pulls 4 pens of cats....

me: wth? why did you have so many cats?
dk: because their just cats.
me: /facepalm....

Guildie tank: Look I'll tank this, if we wipe again I'll drop and you guys can get another tank.
DK: whatever

Guildie pulls, dk is doing zero dps, he is just standing there. So i let him die, get the whole WTH heals?, dps avoids wave and cats, and we take her down. I think fully buffed my guildie tank had about 160k health and I only had to do about 9k hps to keep everyone alive on that last pull. I did not even have to use my fiend/hymn. We still ended up leaving the group when we got to the boss with the chained spirits b/c no one would kill the little mount running around the arena... When the DK piped up(again) he should tank it b/c the pally had too little health to tank, after explaining the dps needed to drop the mount running around in order to save the spirits, we dropped group and let them try.
90 Blood Elf Priest
In H SC of course.
I get a decently geared warrior tank and good lookin dps so things look OK. On the opening trash mobs with the earth rager guys noone CCs them or even tries to kill them 1st so they do a ton of dmg to group and I lose a dps on each of the 3 pulls with those guys. I get crap from the group but dont worry about it. 1st boss goes OK, group takes a ton of dmg from the purple adds but i heal through it. On trash between 1st and 2nd boss dps wont kill the purple exploding adds or jump for the quakes so once again I lose a dps on each of the pulls and get crap from the group for it. On 2nd boss ppl are slow moving out of fire but we get it down.
This whole time the tank is doing moderatly well and being quiet since he hasnt died yet. On the trash groups of 5 before Ozruk he runs into that part, pulls 2 of those groups and 1 of the big ogre guys, i get stunned from something, the elems r doin a lotta aoe and the lock mobs r summoning demons and the ogre is jumpin all over and knocking me back and we wipe. the tank !@#$%es at me to learn to heal and says our whole group is weak cus we cant down that pull. I say that i dont know of a pug group that could survive that pull. He claims that he was just in one that did. Then on Ozruk he fails to get out of shatter but i heal him ok, then he faces boss at an rdps and they both die. A rogue (the only dps that was doin the right thing most of the time and pullin more than 7k dps) then takes over tanking and does a really good job and im keeping us up until i accidentally pull the group of adds just before and to the right of the boss while running to avoid a slam. the tank then blames me for the wipe saying i cant heal and wiped us by pullin the adds over a min after he was dead from slam.
I then booted him and with a new tank and dps (cuz one of those left too) we easily finished the dungeon.
15 Dwarf Shaman
Things you dont want to hear healing PuGs.


Well excuse me but first dungeon and all I have is two (2) healing moves. Good lord you would have thought 1 wipe was the end of the world.
90 Pandaren Shaman
Bless this thread.

The other day I was in Uldaman (lollowbienoobheals) with a group that had never been there before, save for me and a mage. Said mage was nice enough, but for some reason found it necessary to pull mobs in completely different tunnels from where the tank was, and the rest of the group (except for the tank) followed. I've never had more fun healing tbh, trying to find a place where all of the group was in my LoS. Somehow I kept everyone alive.
But Mr. Mage died twice iirc, once due to me completely spacing out and failing to realize that he had pulled YET AGAIN, and another time because he was out of my LoS.

Also.... even if you're decked out in heirlooms, it doesn't mean you're invincible, JSYK.
89 Blood Elf Paladin
We're doing OK up until Kinara. Tank says "I'll tank priest, someone pull the packs." Hunter says he will. Fight starts, hunter pulls packs, tank never pulls them off hunter.

Just putting this out there (from a couple pages ago) that this is actually a viable strat for Kilnara and makes the fight trivial. The trick is to pull 1 cat at a time and have ALL the dps FF it down and then have them pull another one. This keeps the bleed stacks down and reduces incoming damage greatly. In this method your tank alone can handle interrupting the tears. This method actually doesn;t extend the fight too long either as long as those cats are being pulled.

Now, if your tank didn't explain that then ya, bad tank. Otherwise, This strat is viable and was discussed in length in the tanking forums.
85 Troll Priest
Things you dont want to hear healing PuGs.


Well excuse me but first dungeon and all I have is two (2) healing moves. Good lord you would have thought 1 wipe was the end of the world.

I hate to tell ya this, but...that will never change. Regardless of how many healing spells you gain.

Remember: PUGs are just like toilet paper...useless after one wipe.
90 Blood Elf Paladin
This is pretty funny, I need to share it. I was doing a zHeroic for VP. Player was inspecting my gear and noticed my head piece and we had a discussion about it. This went on throughout the whole instance, but I was mostly ignoring him.

Player: Nice head piece, the token drops from Rag, right?
Me: Yeah.
Player: Why isn't it 384? I thought Rag drops 384 or 397 gear only.
Me: He does.
Player: I know you !@#$ing idiot. Why isn't it 384?
Me: Because non-heroic t12 pieces are all 378.
Player: You're wrong, that one's supposed to be 384, dumbass.
Me: Relax, you're just misinformed.

He refused to believe me, and the ad hominem began ramping up. I don't think this guy was stupid though, I think he was just trying to get a reaction out of me. Entertaining troll, I'd say.
Edited by Klute on 9/6/2011 1:29 PM PDT
85 Night Elf Druid
CtA pops up and since I have only 30VP to cap for the week I decided to go for the satchel and heal a regular H. I get Stonecore, ongoing, on Orzuk. People say hi, I say I'm ready whenever.

Tank pulls, and proceeds to use entire hallway, back and forth, not standing still for a single second, while Orzuk is doing spike to all directions. He also gets hit every other shatter.

Enhancement shamman is doing 4k DPS and is spamming Healing Rain in random spots where no one is, while everyone is at 90% plus health.

Boomkin is in bear form. Enough said.

Mage is doing 824 DPS. I kid you not. 824 DPS.

I notice all this and start DPSing while avoiding spikes and keeping tank up through shatters, but Orzuk hits his enrage timer at 64% health.

Me: Do you guys know the fight?
Mage: Chill
Me: Chill? 824 DPS and you say chill?
Mage: I'm in vent teaching the tank how to do this fight, so chill.

*I drop group*

Seriously? A mage can't talk in vent and DPS at the same time? Doesn't have to be a lot, but you can wand the boss and do more DPS than that. >.<
Edited by Potiara on 9/6/2011 1:52 PM PDT
85 Dwarf Shaman
I've only been 85 for a few weeks but i've already got a good one.

I zone into Heroic DM on the ships deck. They've gotten to Ripsnarl. The tank does a ready check and pulls. It seems like in no time I'm running for my life. There are vapors everywhere beating on my face. Everyone is taking huge damage and quickly we wipe.

I'm still getting geared up so I'm thinking on the run back that maybe I'm not quite ready for this fight.

We all get back and then the tank says. " Ok, maybe we won't go for the achieve"

Geeze! thanks for letting me know.

90 Blood Elf Priest
We all get back and then the tank says. " Ok, maybe we won't go for the achieve"

Geeze! thanks for letting me know.

You can't imagine the amount of times a terribad dps as asked for something.

Bear-ly Made It? 8k dps on the way to Akil'zon? Not happening.

Ohganot So Fast? Not if you stand in Devastating Slam and can't break 10k even with the Frostburn Formula.

Ring Out!? Not on your first time here.
a few days ago i went into Heroic Deadmines, the group seemed fine and had no issues untill the first boss.

the DK promptly dies to the slowly rotating firewall and the druid DC's leaving the mage, tank and myself to finish the boss.

once the loot has been delt with after the boss the tank leaves and we boot the druid who has no sign of comming back and set ourselves to find replacments.

the DK marks himself as tank only, switches spec and we get our 2 new DPS.

the DK proceeds to pull in low grade PvP gear and i had a hard time keeping him alive, i asked him politly to put his tanking gear on and so he switched from deul wielding to a 2H.

he then continued in said PvP gear and died a few pulls later and a few DPS leave, again he marks himself as tank only and i give him another chance.

after some more hard pulls i started drinking and he ran off down the hall and around the corner health plumiting when he got to the mobs. there was nothing i could do to save him and he asked where his heals were and that he was my tank.

at that point i thought "screw this" and left.

all this happened between the first and second boss.
90 Draenei Shaman
DK tank, upon zoning in to ZA: "ok ppl im just lerning to tank so..."

I didn't read much past that, I just left the group. Some days you're just not in the mood for it, and ZA is really NOT the place to be "lerning" to tank.
90 Draenei Shaman
The same day, zoning in to a ZA in progress. The group has just killed Nalorakk. We start the treacherous approach to the dragonhawk boss, and the tank marks the Flame Caster with a moon and the scout with a skull. The mage proceeds to nuke the scout without sheeping the caster, pulling the group. He will continue to do this through every pull on the way to the boss.

As we approach the dragonhawk boss, the mage says, "how i play this boss?" I can feel the headache starting.

The tank replies, "Read," and proceeds to spew forth a lengthy paste of the encounter from what I presume is the dungeon journal. Nowhere in any of this does he indicate to which side he will be taking the boss, or which hatcher he wants killed. The mage says "k" and the pull begins.

Right off the bat, the tank takes the boss all the way on to the bridge on the right hand side, so when the flame breath comes both he and the warrior have nowhere to go and take tremendous damage from the fire. The hatchers arrive and the right side one gets killed while the left one goes and hatches unmolested. Naturally, when all those dragonhawks appear, they aggro to me. The encounter ends rather quickly in a wipe.

I reincarnate and start to mass res, but the mage has already zoned in and manages to aggro a scout on his way back to the boss. I stand there waiting for him to die, but the tank has run back down to investigate and now we're all in combat. After dispatching the reinforcements, we get ready to try the boss again.

I point out that the left side hatcher needs to be the one to die, and we pull again. This time I manage to kill the left hatcher before it finishes its business (I was the only one to attack it) and we manage to limp through the fight.

Proceeding, the mage face-pulls the pathing Juggernaut and Archon and then the Elder Lynx. After we cut across the lake, he runs ahead of the tank and spawns the next lynx pack. The tank manages to pick them up, and then the mage stands far enough to the side to prox aggro the wandering beast tamer and his pair of crocolisks as they path back. At this point I've had enough.

Me: "Were you dropped on your head as a child?"
Mage: "No I $@#%ed ur mom as a child."
Me" "Appropriate, considering how many times you've already $@#%ed this group with retardation."

I initiate the vote to kick with the reason, "Dangerously stupid." The vote passes, we get a competent mage, and the rest of the run goes off without a hitch.
20 Dwarf Hunter
Me: "Were you dropped on your head as a child?"
Mage: "No I $@#%ed ur mom as a child."
Me" "Appropriate, considering how many times you've already $@#%ed this group with retardation."

Best comeback to stupid I have read so far. El Oh El
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