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This one !@#$ing magical time I had a name in ALL CAPS and then I got hacked and it was deleted and now Blizz won't give it back and I'm like mega sad over it.
Last night I had a dream that I was a GM of sorts, but I handled problems via phone and was going through training, but they abandoned me so I had to deal with this irate customer all alone. I had NO IDEA what to do, but he had this lovely Australian accent and he was getting suuuper mad like there was nothing I could do to placate him. My OG triple OG wanted to tell this nerd to calm the %^-* down, but I let him rant on and on with his beautiful voice....
Sleeping Beauty: A fairy tale of !@#% and cannibalism.
A great king was forewarned by some wise (old?) men that his newborn daughter named Talia was in great danger. It seems that a poison splinter was in the palace's flax, and it would destroy her. The king immediately ordered a ban on flax inside the palace walls.
But, as all great fairy tales go, Talia somehow encountered a flax-spinning wheel and got that nasty splinter in her finger. What happened?
Talia dropped dead.
As a result, King Dad placed his daughter's body on a velvet cloth, locked the palace gates, and left the forest forever and ever.
Enter the great nobleman, who turned out not to be so noble. While hunting in the woods one day, he just happened to stumble on the abandoned palace and Talia's dead body. One would think he kissed her at this point, but no such thing happened.
Instead, he !@#%d her.
He planted the noble seed and nine months later Talia gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Their names were Sun and Moon (which is the boy and which is the girl?) and the fairies took care of them.
One day, the boy was sucking on mom's finger and sucked out the poisonous flax splinter, causing Talia to awake from her death bed.
Many months go by and the horny young nobleman returns to the woods to have another encounter with the princess. To his surprise, he found her alive and well. He confesses that he is the father of her children and they enjoy a hot weekend fling in the hay (Would you have a love affair with your !@#$%^?).
The nobleman then returns home to his wife. Somehow she learns about his illegitimate children. The wife orders the capture of the children. Her cook is then told to slash their young throats and to cook a hash with their flesh.
At dinner that night, the wife gleefully watches her husband eat his meal. When he has finished, she announces "You are eating what is your own!".
We can be sure that the nobleman did not feel too well at that moment. But then, he did !@#% a dead woman, so he deserves a little suffering.
It turns out that the cook had a soft heart and never slaughtered the children. Instead, goat meat was substituted.
The enraged wife ordered the capture of Talia and that she be burned at the stake, but she was saved from death by her -*!@#$ and they lived happily ever after.
Why didn't Walt Disney use this version of the story? It is so much more interesting than the modern version.
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