World of Warcraft™

I wasn't entirely sure where to post this, so i decided it would be most fit in the "science" category.

Now, I've been in plenty of relationships over the years, but i don't think i have been truly & completely happy with anyone. Every few weeks/months i have the same dream, in this dream i'm with the same person, we're always just hanging out, not doing anything, just being with each other. i'm always so happy in these dreams, it feels as if that's how i should be, constantly happy with the one person i actually love and care about.

There is only two problems with these dreams, the first being that they're just dreams, no matter how much i wish it were reality. The second being, i don't know who that person in the dream is. I've never met them personally, it's not someone ive seen at work/school/ in public.

This leads me to my question, what does this dream mean? am i supposed to not give up on love and keep searching for this person? is this even the person that will eventually make me happy, i just don't know.

WTB answers.
also, post any dreams you may have that you cant seem to figure out what they mean.

Check for snukes in your snizzle.

been there, done that

In general, not just the dream, you shouldn't give up on looking for a lasting relationship. Just realize things aren't always going to be perfect, even in the best relationships. More than likely the dream is just a reflection on what you need in a relationship to be happy. And indeed, mutual happiness is a strong foundation for a relationship.

Hmmm well, I'm pretty sure someone once said that dreams could be interpreted as fragments of information from your real life which require additional 'processing', and take the chance to do so while you sleep. Then there is also the idea that dreams are supposed to be like a projection of your 'quieter' or 'locked away' regions of your personality which need a place to take form/show themselves but can't.

In your case, I think it may be the latter since you've personally said "no matter how much I wish it were reality", with a word choice of 'it' instead of say 'her' as if trying to distance yourself.

You've stated you've "been in plenty of relationships over the years". Now, you've mentioned 'school' in your post seperately from 'work' so I'm assuming you are either in high school or college (unless you are reminiscing, in which case you'd be older). But regardless of how old you are, it tells me that you possibly view yourself as having gained some degree of wisdom when it comes to relationships. After having had relationships with so many people, you can probably easily make a list of things you want and don't want in a relationship - and your list is probably quite long, and may even contain a few trivial behavioural patterns: e.g: "she used to always tell me to do up my top button, but that thing strangles me and I undo it whenever she's not around anyway"

What does it mean? It means I have a hunch that you probably have a pretty clear mental image of what your ideal significant-other would be like, right down to some of the smallest details. There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of perfection - only if you just remember that nothing is perfect.

Most importantly, I also have a hunch that your longing to find or pursue this ideal significant-other may be giving you a view that your most recent relationships may feel unfulfilling because they do not live up to this 'ideal' standard which you have placed on a mental pedestal. Regardless, realising anything like this doesn't stop you from constantly wanting this ideal person.

The person you are dreaming of is likely to be a facet, or an entirety, of your ideal partner - the one idea which you want so much that it is enough to lead you to publicly state that you " feel(s) as if that's how (you) should be, constantly happy with the one person (you) actually love and care about."

Your second half of the post tells me that more than half of your exes probably did something which hurt you, either at the break up or in the points leading up to or contributing to it. The process has been repeated so much that you feel as if the world is telling you "you are built to be single; relationships aren't for everyone and this includes you". Depending on how much control you have of your dreams, it can say something more. If you find yourself pressing snooze to go back to continue this dream, or if you find you have full or near-full control in your dream, then it tells me that you may feel that you are lacking control in the relationship sector of your real life.

In fact, it's hit you so hard, and/or so many times you have subtly (perhaps quite shamefully because this isn't who you are since you haven't really) admitted to us that you have given up on 'love' and 'finding someone', but the reality is that you haven't... because it seems with a dream, or in this case a repeating one, you jump at this sign of hope; and we all know it's a small thing to go by.

But the reality is that you probably haven't, or won't, find anything in this thread which will help you any more or less because you already know the answer; it makes sense, you know yourself far better than the rest of us and more than half of my post is based on hunches and hypotheses. Nothing I have said, or anyone else, will change you today. But there is one last thing I have missed out, and this is a hypothesis too: your post isn't so much an open quest to understand yourself and what you want. Your real intention is to look for affirmation.

You already know that your dream is exactly just that, a dream. But your final question was asking "is this even the person that will eventually make me happy, i just don't know". This person COULD be, but statistically/probabilistically speaking... I think you're more likely to be struck by lightning. But see, you've added 'i just don't know' at the end of your question as a reality check so that none of us would feel inclined to tell you about the statistics/probability.

You are an idealist in this situation because, as stated already, you have a mental image of the things you want and don't want. Maybe over the years of feeling emotionally beaten up and battered, a part of you feels that the fairy-tale image of love is conflicting with a side of you that says that fairy tales don't exist. Right now, you are probably feeling this conflict or have for a long time.

Your post probably isn't so much about a quest to better understand yourself, I think it's more of an open invite to fish through a sea of "No, she's not the one. It's a dream..." and to look for that one single "yes" - and you'll definitely find this 'yes' if you look long enough, maybe not in this thread but another one or anywhere else in life or the internet.

I'm here to bring you back to reality; and to tell you that it's just a dream representing your internal conflict or ideals. The person which is best suited for you IS out there, they may have 25%, 50%, 75% or maybe even 99% of the personality of the one you have been dreaming of (no one knows) but just remember that there is a high chance they'll look nothing like the person in your dream so don't be so quick to dismiss anyone or throw away a good thing; a relationship may not be perfect, but it may be good thing.

As a final note, I stress again that more than half my post is based on hunches and hypotheses with little to no material evidence ;-)

EDIT: disclaimer; I'm a chemistry graduate and high school chem teacher who hasn't even hit 25 years of age yet. Do with my advice what you will but do remember to consider more suitable sources :-)

I think you are longing for a true companion. Perhaps it's a dream about that faceless partner you have always wanted? Have you ever encountered a situation where you had to end your visit and this ultra-attractive, mystery person just up and left? Boarded the train before you could say goodbye?

Those dreams always make my heart ache. *sigh*

Stay away from magical thinking.

Dreams are just the brain reasoning and imagining. You do this alot when you are awake too.

I wonder what I should get Sally for her Birthday..
I wonder where my keys are..
I wonder if I can make it to work on time..
I wonder what's on TV..
I wonder if I got new comments on my thread..

You obviously think about the ideal partner while you are awake therefore, like the previous post suggests.. you are doing it while asleep aswell imo.

There is no one single person you are "meant" to be with.

It is a fallacy.

There are probably millions of people you could have a good relationship with. The key is realizing that as you mature you learn things. The most important thing I've learned, relationship wise is this:

A person I can have a meaningful relation ship with is NOT the perfect person for me. Rather, I can have that relationship with someone who thinks that I am the perfect enough person for THEM.

It ends up not being a personality that is perfect for you, rather its the two of you having personalities that are not totally and completely wrong for each other.

Your dream only means that this is something you want, having a relationship that you are happy in. You are very
likely to still be having that dream, long after you
are in a successful relationship where the person is
right enough for you to live with. It is still very likely to
not be that person (in the dream, that is.)


I had a similar thing happen myself. Then, at 45, I did meet the person who is right enough for me (and me right enough for them.) I discovered something:

Overtime, that vanilla "perfect" person in the dream was replaced with the person I'm now with (never to return.)