The People You Meet in LFR

85 Blood Elf Death Knight
3940
After many, many LFR runs, with some very unskilled players, and tanks that don't know what Fading Light does, and several discussions with guildies, I have concocted a list of the people you meet in every LFR, without fail.

-The DPS-Meteroholic-
This guy will link his meter after every single boss. Sometimes even after trash mobs. He's usually in the top 10, but not always.

-The Know-It-All-
Here's the guy who constantly makes references to the normal or heroic mode, and even old content. May go on a tangent about how raiding isn't the same.

-The "One Who Does Not Suck"-
According to this lovely player, all of you suck, except him. If you wipe, it is because everybody else failed this person. He won't call out one or two players, but can often be quoted as saying "You are all baddies" or "You all suck"

-"Inspector Gadget"-
This guy will go through all 24 of you, inspecting your gear, and will link any piece of gear that he finds unattractive in raid chat, and will openly mock that person. Missing a gem? He'll make sure you don't go unnoticed.

-DPS-Meter Police-
All of you should know who this one is before I even describe it. He's the one that calls out "Player X is only doing this much DPS! Kick him!"... Even though its LFR and 5 people can be AFK and still down a boss.

-Captain Kick-
"Kick this guy. He's been AFK for 15.3 seconds while he went to get a drink."
"Player X DC'd almost 30 seconds ago. Kick him. Do not wait another second."
Closely related to the DPS-Meter Police and Inspector Gadget. Could also be known as Captain Inspector Kick Gadget

-The Non-Raid Leader-
Everyone's favorite, he's not the raid leader, but he'll act like he is. Possibly connected to the know it all. He will give a very long description and type very slowly so you can understand him and use basic, elementary school vocabulary because he genuinely doesn't believe you are intelligent enough to understand any more. Will incessantly repeat himself after everyone dies. Oh, and if you die, he'll turn into Captain Kick.

-LFR Hero-
Acts like he knows the in's and outs of DS but has never actually stepped foot in normal instances. He has a full set of 384s and thinks he is godly because he places in the top 5 of DPS charts. He thus transforms into one of the sterotypes above.
Contributed by Twiister

-The Wanding DPS-
Its that DPS who queues when you actually look at the meters you wonder if he went AFK during the fight. When you actually look he had the same active time as everyone else, hes just that bad. Just beware that this 5K Arcane Mage will, and most likely win, your Cunning trinket because the roll system seems to "favor" low dps (just kidding but you know what I am talking about).
Contributed by Rixas

-1/8 Heroic Hero-
His guild finally killed Morchok heroic and he's on a high because hes doing Heroic content. He turns into the know it all and needs to remind everyone hes doing heroic content. After getting annoyed you look at his wow progress and see hes 1/8 but acts like hes 8/8. Treats people awful.
Contributed by Rixas

-Pop it NAO hero Mage-
Its that Mage who will pop hero at any bad time he/she can. Pull Zon'ozz, Hero. Pull Hagara, Hero, Ultraxion sub 20% Hero and the best of them all 3rd tendon Spine....you guessed it.
Contributed by Rixas

-STOP IT NOW DPS-
The Amalg on Spine is at 40% health. Out of nowhere you start seeing yelling text that you are "all scrubs and to quit dpsing the amag". Any time the dps drops below 40% to 35% , even if there are 7 stacks, he will continue to call you all scrubs and "loosers" for not stopping. Bonus points if he taunts the almag early at this point because hes afraid the "bad dps" will kill it too soon, ie he pulls a 9 stack at 30% health.
Contributed by Rixas

-The Cool Kid-
Will never type a sentence without using at least 4 curse words no more than 4 words in between. If he's real cool, he'll make incessant references to:

His 'girlfriend',
Your mother,
How high he is,
How he's not even trying.

-The Siren-
As soon as a wipe comes, expect no more than 4.3 seconds to pass before encountering the siren. They will immediately start screaming names that are to blame for the wipe, whether you were standing too close to the side of his Power Word Barrier or you took one tick of Morchok's blood, your name will be screamed. All he does is scan his recount. I'm not sure if he knows what class you even play.

If you have any more people you meet in LFR consistently like those above, post them here. Or if you are one of the above, tell us your ways. If not, hope you enjoyed, and moreso hope you were able to think of at least one person for each of the above.

- Joeflacco
Edited by Joeflacco on 3/29/2012 8:33 PM PDT
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85 Dwarf Paladin
13335
The healers that still think healing done includes overhealing, so if you do 3-4x their healing, you're just doing more overhealing.

I've seriously run into like, 4 of these people.
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90 Tauren Paladin
0
Im the Silent Inspector Gadget, I inspect gear only out of boredom while tanking like a boss
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60 Draenei Death Knight
0
Think I've only ever encountered "Every-one-sucks-but-me" guy.
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90 Tauren Paladin
9450
LFR Hero- Acts like he knows the in's and outs of DS but has never actually stepped foot in normal instances. He has a full set of 384s and thinks he is godly because he places in the top 5 of DPS charts. He thus transforms into one of the sterotypes above
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the guy who tops the meters and ends up outdamaging the next 2-3 below him and possibly more, pretty much picking up the slack and ensuring that there will be sufficient dps to down the boss. has most if not all ilvl 397 gear, knows all the fights 8/8 like the back of his hand and even knows which mechanics can be ignored in LFR to more efficiently blast through content.

best case scenario, he just needs to cap his weekly VP, wants to get this over with, and is not looking to wipe due to other people's stupidity.

worst case scenario, he will roll need on everything for a guildie and/or maelstrom crystals.

i dunno what to call this person...sorry if it's not one of the comedic ones >.<
Edited by Strokzface on 3/24/2012 2:38 PM PDT
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55 Dwarf Death Knight
13010
Sir Whines about Every Roll and never wins anything but has full LFR gear
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90 Gnome Mage
20470
the guy who tops the meters and ends up outdamaging the next 2-3 below him and possibly more, pretty much picking up the slack and ensuring that there will be sufficient dps to down the boss. has most if not all ilvl 397 gear, knows all the fights 8/8 like the back of his hand and even knows which mechanics can be ignored in LFR to more efficiently blast through content.

best case scenario, he just needs to cap his weekly VP, wants to get this over with, and is not looking to wipe due to other people's stupidity.


Pretty much describes me in LFR.

Although since I just got cunning finally, and VP capping really isn't necessary anymore, I'll probably never queue for LFR again. lol.
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85 Tauren Paladin
Bad
14830
I absolutly love this kind of thread. Mainly because the names people come up to describe others are usually hilarious.
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85 Worgen Warlock
8215
The guy needing on things he owns so be can barter them later on.
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85 Tauren Paladin
Bad
14830
03/24/2012 04:53 PMPosted by Dotscom
The guy needing on things he owns so be can barter them later on.


Clever thing to do even if not one people like to be victims of.
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85 Tauren Paladin
Bad
14830
Now here's a suggestion: Try to come out with positive ones :)
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60 Draenei Death Knight
0
That Other Tank - the poor schmuck who queued as tank and has absolutely nothing to do. Hopefully has a dps set/spec.

The Upper Half Tank - The tank who's outdpsing half the people queued as dps. While tanking. If this is also That Other Tank who doesn't have a dps offspec, might make that 30 minute deserter debuff not seem quite so long.
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38 Human Warrior
0
related to the guy who doesn't suck and the meteroholic, these people think they are "above" the menial task of dpsing adds, because that would impact their dps total, possibly dropping them down a few spots on the meter and damage the ego.

the fun part is when they link the dps meter, you link the "dps done on adds" meter right after...this works with healers too, when they link the healing, you link the decurse/cleanse meter, or interrupt if it applies.
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85 Dwarf Paladin
13335
There's stuff to dispel/decurse in LFR? Besides Zonozz debuffs, which I don't cleanse as I'd rather heal through them, is there anything?
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26 Worgen Rogue
10635
03/24/2012 12:09 PMPosted by Joeflacco
-The Non-Raid Leader-
This is always me, though I almost never call out for kicks. I will vote kick someone, but figure if they deserve it, I don't need to advertise it. I rarely call people out in raid. If I see someone messing up (to be honest, normally the tanks, cause their job in LFR is typically more critical then anyone else) I will whisper them. I only put instructions out for the few fights that actually have mechanic requirements lest we wipe. My instructions are concise and only discuss the specific mechanic that we need to address. I find that if I tried to write a lengthy boss guide in raid chat the tanks would always pull before I was done.

Anyway, I think I've run across the guy you are describing maybe one time.
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26 Worgen Rogue
10635
The DPS-Meteroholic-
This guy will link his meter after every single boss. Sometimes even after trash mobs. He's usually in the top 10, but not always.


This guy is almost always #1 on the meters that he posts. He normally will not post them if he felt he got beat.
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90 Draenei Death Knight
9010
I would be closest related to the DPS-meteroholic, except i usually don't link meters, I just am over-obsessed with how much damage i do/ WoL rank (even though no1 cares about ranks for LFR.....)
03/24/2012 05:00 PMPosted by Madawk
Now here's a suggestion: Try to come out with positive ones :)


the only thing i could think of would be the one guy who needs on items so that he makes sure the "need on stuff I already have guy" doesn't get it. he will then distribute it to some1 with worse gear.
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26 Worgen Rogue
10635
03/24/2012 08:39 PMPosted by Mericansauce
he only thing i could think of would be the one guy who needs on items so that he makes sure the "need on stuff I already have guy" doesn't get it. he will then distribute it to some1 with worse gear.


That guy is called - The Loot Police -
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90 Human Death Knight
12225
The One Who Doesn't Speak-nothing comes out of this guy, its like hes there, but hes not there
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