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Name: Kildin Nightcrow
Race: Night Elf
Armor: Crow wears a mix-match of mail and leather armor
Weapons: Wields a standard long sword and a Kite Shield
Age: around the same age as Matalya.
Alignment: Alliance Army
History: All you can get from him is that he has been stationed at feathermoon stronghold slightly longer than Matalya
Personality: although generally honorable, he hates ALL mages and large battles. he gets along with almost every other guard stationed at the stronghold, but has a strange sense of humor and generally finds stuff funny other people wouldn't, a trait he shares with Matalya.
Heh, nothing major Field, but your writing pace is a bit quick and I don't have time to have my character respond to dialogue, your posts are quite action-driven at the moment. For instance:
Matalya asks the Paladin "SO, what brings you to this land of adventure and romance?" she asks in a dead-pan tone. "Come for the glory of the battle? the honor of killing in the name of the 9th Legion? The thrill of killing? or are you just bored of your church and wanting to do some dirty-work?" She asked, barely hiding her hatred of the 9th Legion.
With this series of questions our characters could have engaged in an interesting conversation and possible shown some potential for character development, or simply given us an opportunity to elaborate more on some of the ideologies our characters possess - personally, I'm quite interested in finding out why both of your characters distrust/despise mages so much and an excellent way to delve into that aspect would be some rich dialogue.
Just something to keep in mind that may be useful in the future.
Edit: Also, Mizzark, the OP could be writing the layout differently, but since there aren't any major specifics going on other than Mojache is more fortified than usual, I've been operating under the assumption that the Alliance/Horde control the same locations that they do ingame. Since Cata came, the Alliance base was actually moved to the mainland since the isle fort was wiped out so only reinforcements would be coming from sea or caravan. However, since it sounds like the Ninth Legion are an organized force of the military, they'd likely have gone through most necessary preparations and moved a sizable force into the base beforehand.
We'll likely have to wait for Andromedai to elaborate on positioning though.
Edit 2: Since I'm a quarter of the way to 80 I'm going to burn my way there before my next post >.> Be back in a bit.
Edited by Colrick on 4/12/2012 8:33 AM PDT
My character was trying to figure out YOUR story, not tell you about hers. That's why she started picking up speed after you where finished. Makes sense to me, anyways. She didn't want to talk about herself, but instead listen. She is purposely avoiding letting anyone get past being an acquaintanceship. And i'll admit, my own personalty is in there somewhere. Mainly the crappy sense of humor. I'll try to slow down, but no promises
>.> Except my character never had a response in there that he had finished.
It's a good position to RP a character who's not keen on revealing too much about themselves, but there are other techniques a writer could use to have their characters be ambiguous when interacting within a story. For instance, similar to keeping a conversation going in person, one character can take the reigns of a conversation and, instead of answering any questions one person asks of them, simply redirect the question by coming back with one of their own. That way the character gets to manage how much information they want to disclose about themselves while learning more about the individual they're talking with.
It's fine that the character's are on guard dealing with others, but all I ask is that you keep in mind the type of interaction that would realistically go down.
I wrote it so that you could insert whatever you likes into there, and i wouldn't have to wait for you to post to write that down. I'll go and reword it if you havn't already started your next post. and by reword i mean "delete that last paragraph".
Edited by Fieldgoal on 4/12/2012 11:30 AM PDT
Just had a friend come over for about a hour, so my next post is going to end up cut off a bit, but I'll be back within the next few hours to add the next segment. Oh well, it's probably better that I break them into two parts, I keep going over the allotted character limit haha.
There's no need to edit the post, personally, it's actually a bit entertaining for me to write my character's dismay at being brushed aside in such a manner. It's a different pace than I'm used to in my own creative writing xD
Edit: When I get back from visiting with my pal I'll edit my post to reflect your edits.
Edited by Colrick on 4/12/2012 12:11 PM PDT
Communicating on forums is annoying.... anyway, happy to help get people out of there confort zones. It's a skill of mine. (that, and managing to get in everyones way)
Edit: also, we are the only ones who have posted on the 5th tab.... *laughs?*
Edit 2: HOWEVER, as soon as i write the edit, i see another post..... *laugh x2*
Edit 3: i also just realized i'm writing from the paladins point of view.... *shrugs*
Edited by Fieldgoal on 4/12/2012 2:34 PM PDT
xD I'm sorry if I ever seem overbearing during this thread, I've been practicing my writing for a few years now and due to all the peer reviewing I do in my classes I've gotten used to trying to help out with pointers. I remember that one of the hardest parts for me to write (and still is actually) are character interactions. Describing a characters actions in an environment are so simple, but capturing a genuine reaction to another person in the writing can be quite challenging, at least in my opinion.
Anyway, as slow going as it can be writing up something on here that relies on another person making an appearance before you can do anything else, it definitely adds a bit more depth and flair to a story/RP. Generally, this is also why it might be a good idea to sign up for RP's with two or more characters, that way while we're waiting around we can go into another character's perspective and add something so that none of us don't get too bored waiting around. >.> most of my posts are simply to help setup my characters in the area since we have no idea where the front lines are specifically located.
Edited by Colrick on 4/12/2012 1:32 PM PDT
It's actually refreshing to have someone helpful in an RP.
Heh, thank you. I used to RP on the forums about...three or four years ago I'd say and there were some great writers on here. One guy went through the hassle of actually taking the the Night Elven language, as well as the language of the Blood Elves, and writing a whole thread about the grammar rules that each language seemed to follow. There was one observation he made that really stood out about the Blood Elves lacking words that used a certain letter, but I can't recall what it was.
As for the Draenei...I'm actually quite racist against anything blue.
Edit: Seriously though, with only Field, Rogue, and myself chiefly operating the Alliance side, another addition would make things quite merry.
Edited by Colrick on 4/12/2012 4:34 PM PDT
Characters name: Vorik
Armor: Vorik wears a heavy suit of plate armor. Forged from a metal found on one of the many worlds the Draenei settled on by Vorik’s father in conjunction with a number of other smiths and enchanters, it almost seems to radiate heat in certain places, glowing a faint red. The suit features huge, spiked shoulder pads and a facemask that covers the lower half of Voriks face, allowing him better visibility and comfort, as the bone plates in his forehead act as armor themselves. He armor leaves nothing on his body exposed, save his hooves and tail.
( http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/442/vorik.png/ )
Weapons: Vorik carries a gigantic two handed sword that he wields with grace. He has been training with this sword for thousands of years and it is more of an extension of himself than a weapon.
History: Vorik was born on a small planet the Draenei settled on for a short period of time during their time avoiding the Burning Legion. The constant threat of annihilation and his peoples drive to prepare for the coming of the Army of Light lead Vorik’s parents to begin training him to fight almost from the day he could walk. At an extremely young age Vorik had already begun to hunt and master the art of swordsmanship, constantly competing with his slightly older brother.
Vorik moved from world to world for the next few hundred years with the rest of the Draenei, continuing to learn the ways of the blade, it was at this time that he received his armor and began learning to deal with the heavy weight and restrictions caused by the armor.
By the time Vorik reached adulthood he had grown to a hulking 7’10, quite large even by Draenei standards and was beginning to be recognized as a great warrior. He had defeated many of the other warriors in sparring matches and began leading organized hunts and expeditions on new worlds.
Around 1500 years after his birth Vorik’s first test of fate came in the form of his mother’s death. During an assault by the native peoples of one of the world’s they had landed on Vorik was caught off guard and captured, his mother killed in front of his eyes. He was later freed by his older brother and father.
For the next 15,000 years or so Vorik lived a relatively successful and prosperous life, continuing to better himself and earn the respect of his people. it wasn’t until his arrival of Draenor that things took a turn for the worse. Early on in their time on Draenor, Vorik’s brother was killed in a dispute with a powerful Orc warrior. Seeking vengeance Vorik hunted down and killed the Orc in a duel. The death of both his wife and son sent Vorik’s father into a depression and Vorik was forced to watch his father wither away until he eventually sacrificed himself in a skirmish against the Ogres of Nagrand. This was the final straw for Vorik and he replaced his faith in the Light with anger and hatred, using that to fuel him instead of his devotion. He trained harder and longer each day and began to become something of a recluse in his society. It was also during this time that he took an interest in the Elkk of Draenor, learning to control and ride them gracefully.
When the Orc’s turned on the Draenei Vorik was always on the front line, fueling his hatred and using it to annihilate his enemies, also bringing his experience with Elkk’s into play, turning them into great weapons and utilizing elephant cavalry. After the Orc’s had hunted his people to the brink of extinction Vorik fought with his people to seize the Exodar and ended up in Azeroth with the small percentage of remaining Draenei. Vorik was part of one of the original parties that encountered the Night Elves, and he began forging a respect and trust for many of their people.
This trust and respect eventually lead to him joining the Ninth Legion.
Personality: Vorik is a great and honorable warrior and an analytical thinker. He lives for the art of war and is always trying to better himself and improve on his skills. Training everyday for thousands of years has programmed Vorik to always expect and be prepared for battle. He is almost never seen without his armor and weapon, and will only remove it in the company of his most trusted friends. Off of the battle field Vorik is kind but distrustful, he tries to never be rude or disrespectful, but he will not open up to strangers in anyway, and often keeps his past to himself. Many tragedies throughout Vorik’s long life have caused him to abandon the faith he once held dearly, and he is often shunned or avoided by his people because of this. These tragedies have also contributed to Vorik’s rapidly growing obsession with battle and training and his extreme hatred for Orcs.
Edited by Mizzark on 4/12/2012 6:11 PM PDT
I enjoyed reading your Draenei's bio Mizzark, he sounds like an interesting character to have interacting on our side. From the look of things, he'd be quite an interesting match if put with Kanarion due to that devout ire for the Orcish race.
Also, I won't be able to put anything else up for the rest of the evening until tomorrow afternoon.
Edited by Colrick on 4/12/2012 8:54 PM PDT
Where did everyone go? the IC thread only has me, Colrick, and Mizzark posting in the newest section from what i know, and only one post in this section isn't from us. Seems like every time i join a thread, it slowly dies or instantly dies.
Edited by Fieldgoal on 4/14/2012 1:04 PM PDT
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