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Those of you of any merit, have already begun to tremble at the subject line of this thread. Few of those would dare to have clicked on it, knowing the true utter evil that lurked within. You are only reading this, because you do not know. You do not know Claude.
Many, you see, have gone mad from their encounters with Claude the Warlock. On this very forum, I slayed many self-righteous egos. In some respects, I am more responsible for more server transfers than Blizzard's lack of originality ever was over the last ten years.
I was here in the beginning. I was there for its peak. And I will be there when life on this server will be extinguished. Such is my power.
But you need not worry. For you see, I am not here to torment you. Rather, I have been called back from the nether to claim what is rightfully mine. You see dear reader, since my fiery birth on this server, all those many Blackrock rerolls years ago, I have had but one intent. One goal. Tormenting the pathetic denizens on this childish noticeboard they call a forum, was merely a sideshow. A diversion, from the true plan.
You see dear reader, I am the last surviving member of Unseen University. One of the oldest surviving guilds on this server, if not all servers. I joined in the heady fallout from the temporary disbandment of the great griefing guild known as Ven0m (and if that guild name means something to you, you've earned my respect). UU foolishly thought that I was merely a passenger in the juggernaut that was Ven0m, but they did not realise that Ven0m coursed through my very essence.
But my plan was not something that could easily be implemented. Nay, my plan involved time and lots of it. Phase 1 was relatively straight forward. Soon enough, I rose through the ranks, quickly attaining officer status and their trust. Elder Cynne was heard to say, 'Why that chap Claude is a regular top bloke', or so the histories tell us. Little did he realise how wrong he was. Phase 2 however involved the time. Lots and lots of time.
The prophecies had forewarned of such an occurrence, even if it was not known to the denizens of Azeroth. That one day, one day, the Blizz in the Emerald City would grant the power of denounce, so that the throne would become free.
That day was today, fellow reader.
And so, at 3:30am EST, Operation Usurper was enacted. Emperor Claude was proclaimed ruler of the Unseen University, with all the trappings of power that entails. The transition was relatively peaceful. The dwarves were slaughtered as an example to others who dared challenge my crown.
My first official act, was to requisition Ironforge, which is now renamed Claudetown in honour of my great Grandmother. Minions, you are most welcome to visit at anytime. But mark my words, we've counted the number of towels, and visitors will be strip searched should any go missing.
So in conclusion, you have nothing to fear, except for me. I look forward to your exodus from my dimension, so that I can be left to rule this server in peace. You have all been put on notice. Eviction notices will arrive over the following days.
ALL HAIL EMPEROR CLAUDE
Let the orgies commence at once.
I mean honestly
How can this server even be called Spinebreaker anymore?
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