Topic Enter Name---> Choose Your Own Adventure!
>You are right. The foul demon ran off into the woods. FOLLOW HIM~
>Venture into bat caves, humming batman theme.
Ugh! It's so hard to decide these things!
On the one hand, you'd love to pretend that the imp made a break towards Elwynn... but on the other hand, let's be honest... If a warlock was summoning an imp to steal your stuff, he'd probably in the worst possible place... Right?
Then again, YOU'RE a warlock, and you want to be as far away from horrifying bats as possible... so maybe this other guy has the same idea.
You wouldn't even really be interested in the bat tunnels if you didn't suspect that what was on that scroll was very important... probably the most important thing ever. More important even than hot blond succubus rack.
You turn steadfastly towards the bat caves... look into the mouth of madness... and then pivot and head towards Elwynn. Seriously, screw bats. Besides, those bats would actually be pretty dangerous to a lone imp. If he's in there he might die, and your secrets will be buried in bat guano. But if he went towards Elwynn... well you're wasting time here! Onward!
>Ask Pizpot if he can track other imps. They're same species, why not?
You look at Pizpot and shuffle a bit and ask him if he can track imps. He gives you a baleful glare.
He assures you that despite what you may have heard, imps don't have a connection with other imps. His people are not connected by a magical field that allows them to communicate and sense each other's presences. He finds the very idea to be frankly insulting, and rather impist to be honest.
You mumble a halfhearted apology. Touchy little bastard.
>Realize that demons are bound by their name in rituals, and speak his name in a fel ritual of summoning.
Idly you wish you knew the name of the imp that stole your scroll. If you did you'd be able to summon him to you and just take the scroll from him. Alas, it's not like you know the name of every imp. There's a reason you're stuck with Pizpot.
You mosey down the hall to nobody's benefit. It's not like there's a lot of ladies down here to watch your swagger. But it makes you feel better.
>Trip over gaint spider.
You turn the corner and shuffle nervously down the corridor. The flames of your torch barely banish the darkness down here... and the spiderwebs are getting thicker. Man those are thick webs. Haha... good thing that the spiders are long gone. You'd hate to see the critters that made thes--
*THUD* MOTHER-- Holy hell! What the hell was that! You just lost your footing! Is there another dead hobo lying in this tunnel? What the f--
... That is not a small spider. That is not a small spider at all.
>Fart. (yes I am immature like that)
What? No no. It was the spider. You promise.
> Execute the Wooshi Finger Hold.
You throw your robes aside revealing your master kung-fu attire and grip the spider's-- Spiders don't have fingers. Your self induced illusion collapses and you realize that expansion hasn't been released yet.
Pizpot begins to mumble incoherently and his hands glow. Clearly he is freaking out as much as you...
>Throw Pizpot at spider.
Now we're talking sense. Basic warlock tactics. Sacrifice your demon for your own well being.
FLY PIZPOT! FLY!
He impacts the spider, cursing all the while that he was mid spellcast and that you just disrupted his magic, and now he's in melee combat with a spider you MORON. THIS WAS NOT IN HIS CONTRACT!
You stand to your feet, now is the time to unleash your dark magic, now is the time to show what a real warlock can do...
Now is the time to spam DoT's, fear-bomb, and hope to god there are no adds...
... What's that skittering sound?
>Move to protect your precious muttonchops from its mandibles
Tch. You figured that was a given. If you die you want them to find a luxuriously muttonchopped skeleton where you fell.
Also, you're pretty sure spiders have fangs... do they also have mandibles? Anything with more than four legs is kind of terrifying to think about to be honest.
>Pay no attention to the mass of arthropods beginning to surround you.
You try to deny the fact that you are being surrounded by a spider colony, you close your eyes, pinch yourself and open them again.
Yeah they're closer now... Yeah they're definitely moving towards you.
You fervently wish you had the ability to Illidan out at early levels, just like you would in the next expansion, but alas, you don't, and if wishes were Spankhacks you'd be able to mince an entire bushel of potatoes in mere minutes with minimal effort!
You are technically powerful enough to do it at this level, but that requires binding a little bit of your soul to your demon through the twisting nether... and the only demon you have access to is Pizpot...
You fervently wish something terrible has come out of your books and is now eating Glindara for trapping you in this predicament. But again, if wishes were appliances...
Oh well. Guess you'll just have to do it the old fashioned way. Do more damage to them than they can do to you.
You are fighting 8 Catacomb Crawlers. You are equipped with a [Combat Knife] and an [Old Torch]. Your equipped summon is [Pizpot:Imp], and since you got caught with your pants down you can currently cast [Shadowbolt], [Immolate], and [Hellfire]. You have taken 3 damage from tripping over one of the Catacomb Crawlers. You have no buffs active.
>Offer spiders sexy pictures of succubi
You reach into your robes and tentatively offer the nearest spider one of your favorites. Some hot Succubus on Succubus action... It bites the picture in half... You feel a moment of sadness stemming from the fact that that was a watercolor, unique and beautiful (and trampy) and that you'll never be able to replace it.
That sadness is soon replaced by abject terror.
>If that doesn't work burn them all. With the torch.
You smash the torch into the head of the Catacomb Crawler you tripped over for 1 MEGA DAMAGE!
The Catacomb Crawler loses 1 MEGA HEALTH!
You feel underwhelmed. This torch is really more of a hot stick than a weapon, and even if it was it's more of a mace than anyth--
Oh hell. You can't wield maces...
(Verchall has unequipped the torch!)
Level is kind of an abstract concept, don't you think? I mean, arbitrarily assigning a power level and ability spread to somebody based on the concept that each battle increases experience isn't really logical.
You always save a spell or two before you go to sleep. This time you prepared [Hellfire], [Immolate], and [Shadowbolt]. You can also summon [Piztog:Imp]. [Immolate] and [Shadowbolt] are old standbys for you, and you don't sleep before preparing an AoE spell in the form of [Hellfire]. But aside from that your considerable magical prowess is kind of tanked. You just sort of wandered into your lab this morning without adequate perparation, and a damn imp was there.
Stealing your smut.
>Throw skull at spiders.
ON THE MANTLEPIECE.
NEXT TO THE OTHERS.
You're not going to just throw this valuable decorative hobo skull at--
Hey... [Shadowbolt] is skull shaped!
You cast your [Shadowbolt] at Catacomb Crawler dealing... Holy...
Seriously? Wow... you -ARE- high level.
You deal 12000 damage. The spider explodes.