[A]<Elysium> Now Level 21! Summons Inbound!
- An excerpt from Solinii's journal
I am ashamed for what I have done, for what I lead myself to believe is the darkest chapters of my life, but I am hopeful that I can hold on and do what I must. It is Osuro who I must thank the most. He's been an ever standing pillar, a beacon of Light where my doubt clouds me. He tells me that even when I went down the path of damnation that I always held myself high above unscrupulous tasks, but this I cannot be sure of. No man, or woman can be sure of what I have done, except the souls that were stained by my touch. I often find myself praying for forgiveness from the Light, the Naaru, or the spirits of my ancestors, but these words feel hallow. I can't shake the suspicion that Osuro just wishes to comfort me and not talk about what it is that I've done, or how I've transgressed our ways. Maybe it's for the better.
-An excerpt from Solinii's journal.
When Osuro asked what the last date I remembered was, his cheeks turned ashen, and he softly explained that I had spoken of an event four months prior. I did not believe him. How could I lose that much time? It was an answer that I regretted hearing, for when he finally did I instantly felt my stomach sink to the bottom of my hooves. This could not be true.
Afterwards, I felt a blanket of fatigue wrap over my shoulders and beckon me to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep though, not with the information Osuro spilled into my ears. It was irrefutable though, I could see the burn on my arm and for the first time I felt like a shadow had been casted on my soul. When I could not rest on my own, one of the nurses chanted a spell and closed my eyes, only then did I find solace.
-An excerpt from Solinii's journal
One of the concerns that Osuro had was retribution for my crimes, both from my time in their service, and from the political mechanism of the organization itself. Athynas has taken it upon herself to guard my bed while I am weak, and still recovering. Light bless her soul for being so diligent in her duty. She's one of the few to hear my story and believe it, but not without some lingering doubts. I don't blame her, not after what I've shown what it is that I formerly was. Even now, she stands over by the medical supplies with her hefted up on her knee, fiddling over some plans as she keeps watch.
Osuro comes by every so often to update me on the Broken Doll chase, and told me that I am not allowed to participate because of my former affiliations. This has wounded me greatly, but I have accepted it as punishment for my actions, even if I don't remember them. I find it hard to come to terms with what many have said that I have done. Can I really be judged for something I can no longer recollect? Am I the same person as before, given the fact I can no longer recall the very thing that brought me down this dark path? I do not know, and I cry sometimes out of the fear that I will no longer be accepted into society, and that all my former friends will now regard me as a traitor, a betrayer...
-An excerpt from Solinii's journal
His cooking is suffering as well. He has confessed that he doesn't enjoy baking as he once did. It seems to take a toll on a strength that he no longer has. I fear, and yet my own condition seems to plague me. I can't ruse him out of his state, much as he can to make me forget what I've done, who I've joined in Darkness.
Why can't anything be simple?
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