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I am happy to post with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our horde.
Five Hundred score years ago, a great Moocow, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emoocipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a pasture of hope to millions of Cows who had been seared in the flames of hibachi injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of victualtude.
But now, we must face the tragic fact that the Cow is still not free. Now, the life of the Cow is still sadly crippled by the manacles of smeel and the chains of dumdum urcs.
Orcs. Orcs are living contradictions. Orcs are full of unfulfilled ambitions; Orcs wax and wane, Orcs love to complain; Orcs love to hear themselves talk, but hate to explain.
Orcs love being another cow's judge and jury, Orcs procrastinate till it's time to worry. Orcs love to be late, Orcs hate to hurry.
I've seen what's around the corner, I've seen what's over the horizon, and I promise you, you Orcs have nothing to celebrate...for the Cow, yes the Moo Cow and his brethren, the Buffalo and the Yak, will rise, rise, rise and claim their rightful pasture!
Edited by Behemot on 4/12/2012 12:08 AM PDT
Where Have All The Moo Cows Gone?
A child in an inner city stares at the small plate of Oreos,
Stacked as if a perfected Pisan tower and
Adjacent to an empty glass.
To dip or not to dip, that is no longer the question!
The dipping of the Oreo, that
Sacred, American tradition, that
Right of Passage, some would call it,
Or perhaps just the one bright spot in this poor child's day?
The sheer joy, the breathtaking ecstasy
Of twisting that Oreo and dipping it in milk,
An ivory elixir-
The Oreo becomes transfigured,
Like a 15th century Philosopher's Stone
Changing Iron into Gold.
No more! No more!
The child stares blankly
At the plate of Oreos,
Knowing they will never be dipped
Because they can never be dipped.
And so he walks across the room
And hangs himself,
The sad plate of Oreos
Never to be eaten
In the corner of his eye,
And in his dying breath
Why is goat's milk the worst?
What is this world
Where Oreos go un-dipped
And cereal goes dry;
Goodbye Frosted Flakes and Fruit Loops and
Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
And goodbye to you,
I'll miss you most of all
And the noose tightens
And as he enters the great
Realm of nothingness
A final thought goes
Through his head:
"Where have all the moo cows gone?"
Edited by Behemot on 4/13/2012 11:38 AM PDT
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