GNN - Gnomish News Network

90 Gnome Death Knight
0
*The blood-pumping news theme plays, accompanied by a full-screen visual of flames and the text "SCANDAL IN THE NEWS". The visual swooshes to the corner of the screen, revealing Lunate, the news gnome! The gnome smiles at the camera as the music fades out.*

Welcome to tonight's broadcast of GNN, your totally unreliable source of breaking news!

*The gnome frowns at the papers in front of her, then back up at the camera.*

I've been busy! Uh... investigating KEY ISSUES! I CAN'T HELP IT! I CAN'T JUST MAKE UP NEWS! THIS STUFF HAS TO HAPPEN! RAWRRRR!!!

*The gnome leaps off her chair onto the news desk, kicking papers and pens around in a mad rampage. A small dart flies in from off-camera and she collapses as the camera cuts to a screen that says "We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please be patient." A few minutes later the gnome reappears, seated calmly at the news desk.*

Ahem. The head of the publishing powerhouse Noobs Corp. and dabbler in the fel arts, Rupert Murloc, is being investigated following allegations of [Corruption]. We go now to our ace reporter, Ben Trias, who is in the field with Mr. Murloc.

*The camera switches to a man wearing a cheese hat, poking a nonplussed murloc with his microphone. He continues to poke the murloc for a minute before realizing he's on camera.*

"Uh... umm... Mr. Murloc has expressly declined all interviews, so I'm just going to sign
off here. I'm Ben Trias, and this story has been reported."

*The murloc suddenly leaps up behind the reporter and bites him on the shoulder. "AAGHH!" The pair collapses in a cacophony of mrghglglghs, yells, and frothy blood. The screen switches back to the news gnome, who has just put on sunglasses.*

Looks like he was... Ruperted for reporting.

*"YEAHHHHHHHH" The GNN logo reappears with transparent bars drifting across the screen.*
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90 Goblin Warlock
11490
Wonderful to see more recent coverage! *claps enthusiastically*

We'll have ta Talk shop sometime, GGM (Goblin Gentlemens Magazine) Has always been a Fan of the news Media, but given our Patron-base, We end up Missing alot of News due to a lack of .... well, Exposure, if ya catch my drift *SHe winks*

business for another Time.
Love the Fire - things.... Real Michael Baylefire.
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90 Draenei Paladin
11255
We need to crush this murloc menace once and for all!

PS: awesome post, glad to see the GNN again
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86 Troll Priest
0
GNN: Eliminating the need to choose between informative programming and gore/action/explosions since... uhhh... a few years ago!
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90 Gnome Death Knight
0
*The GNN logo fades away and the screen returns to a view of the news gnome, accompanied by an image of a golden dagger mounted to a circular wooden baseplate.*

Close on the heels of the Tirion awards ceremony honoring achievements in the film industry come the fifth annual Stoni Awards, honoring excellence in theater. Past winners of the award for best musical include “Avenue QQ”, “How to Succeed at Raiding Without Really Trying”, and “A Funny Thing Happened in a Thread on the Forums”.

This year's nominees include CATFORMS, based on “Old Alamo's Book of Practical Durids”, with its hit song “Heal Tree”!

*The screen fades to a recording of a performance, sung by a druid surrounded by a circle of cat druids with their paws swaying in time with the music, surrounded by a circle of moonkins in tutus pirouetting with their wings upraised.*

(To the tune of Cats – Memory ))
Green tree, casting bolts of pure moonlight
Let my leafy branch heal you
Paw you up, buff again
If you find hair...

*The clip fades back to the news gnome.*

Follow the adventures of the druids as they go shopping for Runn Tum Tubers in this musical extravaganza.

Also nominated is the epic saga “Invita”, which follows the life of a paladin as she grows, rises to power, and tries to invite random people into groups to compete in Fordring's tournament in Icecrown.

*The screen fades to another performance, with a paladin standing at microphones on top of the Coliseum.*

(To the tune of Evita – Don't Cry for me Argentina)
This heroic's easy, looking for a ranged
There's gotta be someone in the field
That I'll still need to pug once this instance is done
You don't believe me
All you can see is a girl you called noob
Although I'm dressed up in Tier 9
Transmogged to Tier 7 it's true

Of course wipes will often happen,
Oops, my spec changed
My plate armor is made out of steel
I've tanked big mobs like Jindo
I'm not equipping a gun

Blessing of freedom,
Running around
Judging is what I do
So why won't you group, please ,you all
I've got lots of dailys to do

Don't cry for me Argent Tourney...

*The music swells as the video fades back to the news gnome*

Who will win the coveted Stoni Award? Tune in for full awards ceremony coverage at a random later date, on GNN!
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100 Tauren Shaman
10315
You saved the internet for me today. I had just about given it up for good.
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94 Undead Rogue
8135
05/01/2012 08:57 AMPosted by Lunate
Who will win the coveted Stoni Award?


If they can find it!

/stealth
/awardcovet
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90 Gnome Death Knight
0
*A swooshing of stars and musical notes fills the screen, followed by text stating "GNN Music Review" This fades back to the news gnome.*

Apparently the Stoni Awards have been cancelled due to the outrageous theft of the trophy. So instead, we bring you GNN's music review!

*The camera spins to a new angle*

Coming this weekend to an ampitheater near you, the goblin band Macaroons 5 will be performing a charity concert for their own benefit. GNN is proud to present a clip from their last hit music video for the song "Stabbed with Daggers", featuring a guest appearance by the pop artist Christina Algalon.

(To the tune of Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger)

Oh!
She's made out of stars
Not plague blight
She's learned the rogue arts
Hunters can't kite
Reply code's away
This planet's OK
These heroes so brave...

With feet like a troll's
Hair is plaited
That poison will slow
I won't make it
Your spell she will kick
Her crits are so big
I don't sail a ship...

And she stabs so swift...

When daggers are flung she'll garrote you
Blinded by some junk and ambushed you
You got stabbed with daggers
And I got stabbed with daggers
Stabbin' noooooooobs... with daggers...

*The camera fades back to the newsgnome, who is dancing along with the music before abruptly stopping once she notices the camera is back on.*

Uh... tickets are on sale now!
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86 Troll Priest
0
05/09/2012 11:20 AMPosted by Lunate
performing a charity concert for their own benefit.

I need to take up playing a musical instrument again so I can do this. Or I suppose just carrying around a tip jar would take less effort.
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