Orgrimmar Department of Education unveils new literacy program
Secretary Osh'grom Skullcrush calls program "reel gud"
The Orgrimmar Department of Education released the latest guidelines for measuring literacy rates across the Horde. Previous editions called for minimum standards in reading and writing comprehension based on Common Orcish. Due to declining population statistics, low birth rates, and a large exodus of citizens of the Horde, the already low standards in literacy have been removed, and no language will be used in the guidelines. As current Secretary of Education Osh'grom Skullcrush puts it, "Y u maek evry1 try talk gud? U no wut i sez!"
An excerpt from the new guidance*:
- if u can talk u r liturat
if u no talk u r not litiret
if u can has talk but no talk bcuz u git maed fun, u r dum lol
if u no wut i sez nad i no wat u sez tehn we r gud
if u no teh letturz u r litarit
if u reed teh lettirs u r supar liturat
According to Secretary Skullcrush, the new guidelines were meant to improve dramatically lowered literacy rates across the Horde. Some proponents of the plan put the blame squarely on former Secretary Mogrim Wyrmreaver, who wrote the previous guidelines that mandated a basic understanding of Common Orcish, and required sample testing of citizens to ensure they were capable of reading and writing. During his tenure, the average literacy rate of the Horde plummeted from 60% to less than 2%. By removing any requirements involving reading or writing in any language, the current administration hopes to improve the reading and writing skills of the general populace by at least 6% over the next two years.
* Editor's Note: I think that's what it says. It was written in tomato sauce on an old guild tabard in what might have once been ancient Orcish hieroglyphs.