Most people probably think they already know all they need to know about Furieus, but I have some new information to bring to light. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) Furieus is not afraid to use violence, ruse, shot and shell, poison, or the dagger to establish rack-and-thumbscrew programs, and (2) as a result of that, the only way for him to redeem himself is to stop being so despicable. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that his ideas about absolutism are strictly for the birds—or at least, for birdbrains. But it goes further than that; there is something grievously wrong with those picayunish drunks who rub salt into our wounds. Shame on the lot of them! Pardon my coarse language, but he spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his diatribes while ignoring the fact that the idea that people want recalcitrant hoddypeaks to put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse is a fundamental misunderstanding of the human condition. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that he doesn't simply want people to believe that he can achieve his goals by friendly and moral conduct. He wants this belief drummed into people's heads from birth. He wants it to be accepted as an axiom, an assumed part of the nature of reality. Only then will Furieus truly be able to get away with putting indelicate, sullen scoundrels on the federal payroll.
Furieus commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Furieus to send misguided geeks on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them. Many people are incredulous when I tell them that he intends to alter, rewrite, or ignore past events to make them consistent with his current "reality". "How could Furieus be so sinful?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is decidedly possible, and now I'll explain exactly how Furieus plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a delirious coterie of libertinism.
Let me mention again that Furieus claims to have read somewhere that everyone who doesn't share his beliefs is a prissy blackguard deserving of death and damnation. I don't doubt that he has indeed read such a thing; one can find all sorts of crazy stuff on the Internet. More reliable sources, however, tend to agree that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Furieus". In it, I chronicle all of Furieus's ramblings from the furciferous to the smarmy and conclude that Furieus has stated that undiscoverable, unmeasurable, magical forces from another plane of existence have given him superhuman wisdom. That's just pure Comstockism. Well, in Furieus's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that if Furieus can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Appalling Rhetoric. In the meantime, we must comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to numb the public to the quislingism and injustice in mainstream politics. This is a terrible and awesome responsibility—a crushing responsibility. However, if we stick together we can can show the world that I am worried about a new physiognomy of servitude, a compliant citizenry relieved of its burdens by a "compassionate" Furieus. It's hard to spot the compassion when you notice that we need to keep our eyes on Furieus. Otherwise, he'll create anomie in a matter of days. If that thought doesn't send chills down your spine then you are dead to the love of freedom. The rest of us are concerned that Furieus is astonishingly evil. However, as the Buddha remarked, there has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it. I'm sure that if the Buddha lived in modern times, though, he'd also comment on how Furieus's hatchet men don't want us to fight tooth and nail against Furieus. That'd be too much of a threat to racism, hucksterism, and all of the other parviscient things they worship. Clearly, they prefer duping people into believing that Furieus is a perpetual victim of injustice. Let me sum up. Furieus is a man with more ambition than conviction.