So the warrior, Scary...
We loved that warrior. See, he was your typical stand up guy. Always looking out for the underdog... when one day he went on a journey. He wanted to see the bears in the Hillsbrad Foothills and category them for his research, but in the process he dropped his satchel.
He lost his rations for the week in a puddle of bear saliva, and had to eat what the earth offered him. He knew how to process grain with a simple rock, and decided to make some oatmeal out of some grain he found outside of a yeti cave.
Little did he know that the Undead had secretly altered the earth surrounding the yeti cave with the essence of (who knows what), and he became confused once he ate the "oatmeal."
HE began hallucinating. In time he himself thought himself a Yeti. He found a nice Yeti wife, and he was very content. But one day an undead came visiting the cave to observe the Yeti and the mad warrior ate him.
In his madness he thought himself an undead because he consumed one. He then decided that if he could eat one undead, he could devour them all and become the great king of Azeroth.
Maddened, he ran through Silverpine to get to Tirisfal glades. He didnt stop, he just kept running. HE ran and he ran. He ran and ran and ran.
Then suddenly he saw the great fortress of Undercity and he stopped. He just didn't feel like running anymore.
So he crawled into a corner and decided to never leave. He wrote on the walls of that happy corner of his detailing his life and journey, and the love he had for his lost Yeti wife (the Draenei rogue spies were lucky enough to find it or we would never have known what happened to him). If it wasn't for us using our alien technology to spy on the undead we wouldn't have even known the plight of the warrior. HE had apparently stayed there for 5 years...
But then some human mage freaked him out doing god knows what outside of the Undercity with a sheep and he started running again. As far as we know he hasn't stopped.
The last entry on the wall read, "What is that human mage doing to that sheep? This world has gone mad! I must escape this madness before it consumes me."
The draenei are offering 15k for his return. Please bring back our beloved warrior.
While he was your typical stand-up guy, a shameless human, an underdog himself, and never ceased to amazingly escape the laws that bind us all. He was also a fearless privateer employed by the rebel alliance known as the Bloodsail that sailed the southern bastions of Stranglethorn Vale. The sea dog sailed the oceans of Azeroth, a merciless gun-for-hire whom of which showed no sympathy to those unlucky enough to encounter his ship on the high seas. Towns were plundered and pillaged, Southshore women were #%*#d by the captain himself and the crew on numerous occasions, and one case was documented of Scary’s infamous vessel known as “Goiben Uden lo” (“Gaurds, help me!” in Common) laying siege to the Stormwind docks. The buccaneer crew managed to make it towards the Trade District’s bank and auction house that night. Several thousand people lost their coveted armor sets, heirlooms, and millions of gold in auctions.
The king ordered a decree that this menace on the seas must be stopped. All who made their way to the Hero’s Call board were drafted the job of a bounty on Scary’s head. One fateful day, Scary’s ship was met by a Stormwind naval fleet off the coast of the Ruins of Gilneas . One ship against fifteen of Stormwind’s finest, without wincing, he ordered his crew to open cannon fire on the entire armada of highly-trained mercenaries. Needless to say, his ship was easily defeated without even one casualty on the enemy vessels, and all aboard Goiben Uden lo had perished in a barrage of cannonade and gunfire…except for one.
Without his crew, Scary appeared he had hit the end of his road, his reign of terrorizing; pillaging and plunder had abruptly come to an end. His unconscious body floating amongst the wreckage had come to, floating off the coast of Hillsbrad Foothills. Suddenly things had indeed taken a turn for the better amongst his conscious, and Scary had taken an interest in documenting bear habitats and categorizing bear feces’ viscosity. Living off the land, and splinting his broken leg with a twig he found, he created a hobble in the woods, ate lots of self-made oatmeal, and kept very detailed notes.
One day, a lowly undead priest decided to explore the cave of which Scary was presiding, intending to fulfill an obligation he made to a stranger of a town not far away…grave mistake indeed. Scary managed to hide from the trespasser until he was in an ideal ambush spot, of which then, the warrior had knocked the priest out with a rock and began to eat him. Having had his fill, Scary’s fellow yetis looked upon him with disgust, and the warrior’s diluted and distorted grip on reality had perceived a mutiny among his crew being formed. With that in mind, Scary decided to start running. He ran for his life, running out of the cave and though the Foothills. He ran for days all the way through Silverpine Forest, all the way to Tirisfall Glades, intending to escape the ever inevitable mutiny against him.
Abrupty stopping at Undercity’s main gate, he came across a human mage in an intense duel against a night elf rogue. The human mage pulled a gladiator-style juke cast of polymorph. The rogue couldn’t believe he missed the kick, he was stuck as a sheep for 9 whole seconds! Unbeknownst to the duelers, a doped up, former pirate captain warrior was, in fact, watching in awe. Granted, Scary’s vision was still distorted beyond belief, and the environment he was in was a horrifying, disturbing sight of a naked human sexually molesting a sheep, the sheep terrified to all hell. So he fled, Scary fled as fast as feet could flee, and hasn’t stopped since.
Rumor has it, that on the Exodar realm of World of Warcraft, Scary the warrior still runs to this day. He runs and runs, ever longing for the pirate life he once had. On rare occasion, it’s said his spirit appears in Stormwind, some say attempting to pillage it himself, but to no avail. Others have reported seeing him in arena, and sometimes even standing right in the middle of Orgrimmar, however these scattered claims remain unconfirmed and undocumented. The detailed reports Scary had written on feces’ viscosity during his research have yet to be recovered, or cared about.
If anyone has a sighting they would like to report, or a screenshot that you think should be overlooked by a professional, this is the very forum thread to post it.
but they sure do come
I hope they're comin' for me
And I don't know how they do it
but they sure do it good
I hope they're doin' it for free
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
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