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You: "So I know you're not raiding in MoP with us. I'm curious, who will you be raiding with?"
Her: "What do you mean? Of course I'm raiding with you guys, what are you talking about?"
You: "Oh......um, since you didn't speak up when I told everyone to let me know if they were going into MoP with us, I filled your spot."
Look you need to be honest with this guy, your not doing him any favors or your guild any either , eventually someone is going to get pissed enough and Drama will start.
I am not sure if this guy is as annoying as you say he is,, cause we only have one side of the story.. but What I do hear is this guy is not a good fit with your guild.
You need to telll him that he is not a good fit with the guild and that maybe another guild would work better for him.
Be honest with him
Now if you do want to salvage the relationship.. there is an old saying if your not part of the solution, your part of the problem.
So while this guy is annoying and others say they do not like him.. what are you doing to fix this? have you talked to the guy? have you talked to your guildies? What have you as the guild leader done to help resolve this?
I think the first thing you need to do is be honest with him do not be passive aggressive.. sure he should have spoken up if he wanted to raid.. but you as his raid leader knew he was raiding with your team , you really should have asked him what his plans were. Communication.. good communication works when both sides communicate well.
In your case neither you nor the guildie communicated all that well and now your in kind of a mess. Only way to fix it is to talk things over even if it is uncomfortable.
Sometimes if you want to prevent drama, you have to step up and be the leader, that means you have to do what is best for the guild, not for yourself. it is not easy but it is the only way. good luck
Yep, time to bring them into vent and ask them "I notice you brought all your toons in but I also know your not on any of our raid teams. What are your future plans?". He/She will come back with one of two responses with either "No I know I am not raiding with you in MOP" which is the easy response since you don't have to do anything futhre or "Oh I thought I was raiding with you" which is the hard response. Maybe put them on the bench for now until someone can't make it or quits or they alternate nights/weeks with someone.
The attitude part will be touchy but needs to be dealt with before it does explode into drama. Then you will be kicking yourself for not doing anything to prevent it. Phrase it as "If you are raiding with us can I offer some contructive criticism?" Don't only point out the problems but come up with solutions as well. You may also want to find out why they pulled all their toons. There could have already been drama in the other guild.
it started with bad communication, that's all
but it's like any other thing, if you want to fix a problem, you have to fix it all the way.
If it isn't obvious by creating this post asking for help, I am not good with confrontation. I just want everyone to be happy and not upset or mad at me.
cannot, as a GM, you have to do things for the best of your guild (people within). those things will not be perfect for everyone. I know you want everyone to be 100% happy, but there is no way to do so, but you can always try to make them 99% happy. anyway, as a GM, you will be faced against tough choices and all, you must take action whether you like it or not. because, not taking any action (leaving it alone) will not solve the problem. that's what it takes to be a leader, you have to accept critics, flames, unhappy disputes bla bla bla.
it is very bad of you (I would say bad, because you could have AVOIDED this easily) not to ask anything to a single person who are not responding to you in raid chat (probably?).
if it was my team, when 9 or 24 agreed, I would immediately asked that 1 person that did not say anything. Even if there were more than 3 or 4, because I would like to know (as a GM) why are those not willing to continue. Because, if their reason to quit are things that I might be able to fix (whether it is gonna be personal or guildwise or other things within the guild), I would do right away.
I'm not trying to flame you like "see, if you did this, you won't have...", but just for the sake similar issues happening again in future.
but what's done is done,
argumentwise, you are on hard mode,
like Jundas has said (poster above me),
IF that person really did not wish to raid, then it would be easy
IF that person was about to leave your guild to raid with others, but somehow their raid was cancelled and he is now trying to go back to your guild by saying "i thought I am raiding with you", you are going to have a hard time arguing on that
IF that person was afk when you were asking about the raid, you are going to have a hard time too
well, firstly you may want to apologize to him,
don't get me wrong, apologizing does not always means "I am wrong, you are right",
but take it more like "I am sorry that we have this issue while the guild is under my care" way, yeah you get what I mean :p
and I could not think for anything better than; tell him to wait for bench slots or bring him on alt runs. but usually, during raids, there are times where people suddenly cannot make it, that's probably where you want to put him
ps: zomg bad english
ps2: so many grammar error
You can't make everyone happy all of the time. You can't always be everyone's friend and give them what they want, if you're the guild master and/or raid leader. You have to make decisions, and stick to them. You don't have to be mean when laying down the rules, but they have to be maintained for everyone's benefit, not just one guy's.
As others have said, there was a lack of communication. When everyone else responded, the people who didn't respond should have been poked privately to get a certain response; they may have missed the question, or meant to answer and forgot due to distractions. Things to learn for next time!
If the person's attitude is a detriment to the raid team's cohesion, that is a factor, but all she really needs to know right now was that the spots were filled by those who showed their interest on time.
As a suggestion, when talking to guildies about serious matters, I wouldn't use "lol" often. I know you don't want to seem harsh or unfriendly, but that can be done with thoughtful wording. If anything, using smileys and "lol" too often can actually have the effect of making you seem insincere or even patronizing in serious discussions with your guildmates. This recently happened to my roommate, an officer in another guild, which is why I noticed it in the post and thought to bring it up.
Third- everyone hates this person. They are not truly mean or anything. But they are the type to be nonstop talking about everything in the world, if you mention something they have a story about how they did it too and better. And are constantly full of "ideas" & pushing people to follow their raid strats.
Ah yes. Everybody's met people like this. When it's still a minor or new issue, you might be able to talk to the person about their attitude. But it sounds like this has already been going on for a while and the rest of the guild has formed strong opinions about this person, which makes it much harder to resolve the problem. Even if they did change their behavior, long-standing resentment can't be erased overnight.
At the moment, the fact is that you asked everyone to speak up if they wanted to raid, this person didn't say anything, and you filled the spot. That should be all the reason you need not to invite them to raids.
I wonder, though, whether that will solve the problem if this person is still in the guild on a social basis, since it's their social behavior that makes people mad. Don't you think people might still be uncomfortable with the person in guild chat, always hanging around when they're raiding, questing, doing dailies, etc? Removing a problem person from the raid environment is just a band aid if they're still annoying people in all other aspects of their experience in your guild.
Hindsight is perfect - a good door opening would've been the week after, when your problem child had to ask his/her main for a guild invite.
Before that, there should've been a reminder on the calendar or somewhere everyone could see it "REMINDER: Those who intend to raid MUST mail me no later than <date>."
However, done is done. And now you're stuck having to deal with someone who really isn't someone most of your guildies want around.
First - talk to your officers. I don't know how you have power delegated, but if you're not comfortable being the go between person - appoint one. There's almost always someone who ends up being the ear and listener, who hears everything. Use them to keep an ear on potential problems, smooth ruffled feathers, and smooth over feelings.
Your committment is to the guild in it's entirety. If this person says he/she wanted to raid, explain you'd made an announcement they were present for to make sure all potential raiders notified you asap - and he/she did not respond.
One of two things will happen - the begging and pleading, or the huff/anger. Be firm either way. You, as GM, requested a response from everyone. You're not going to start playing favorites before raiding even starts. If he/she feels raiding is a priority, you're sorry he/she missed the announcement, and will completely understand if they feel it necessary to look for another raiding guild, but you've already got your comps made, and that is that.
Don't be aggressive or apologetic - just firm and clear.
If they choose to stay in the guild as a non raider, when the behavior occurs again, pull them aside in whispers, and explain as clearly as you can how they're coming across. "Hey <name> got a second?" And something on the lines of "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you don't realize how that came across from the listener's side - If I had said (something similar) to you, what kind of attitude would you think I was projecting?" If he/she still doesn't get it, you might have to be firmer - "I was hoping not to have to mention this again after our last talk, but the way you say things like that is still coming across as very arrogant and know it all. And it's making a lot of the guildies unwilling to work with you. If it continues I'll have to remove you from this guild. As GM I have to look out for the majority, I can't afford to make continual allowances for one person."
"I noticed that u were not on on raid team for mop, since that is the case i was wondering would u like to form a second team. I see alot of guild having more than one team why cant u create another for us." This will give them a sense of purpose save u the difficulty of ocnfrontation and in the end may come about to have another darn good raid team, it seems to me that ur guild has zeroed in on the one team when there may well may be other up and comers in ur guild who would enjoy a chance to try raiding.
I also think u should take the time to take this person and skill them in how to be more sociable thereby helping ur guild become more of what a guild should be.
Edited by Jalsar on 10/7/2012 1:40 PM PDT
"I noticed that u were not on on raid team for mop, since that is the case i was wondering would u like to form a second team. I see alot of guild having more than one team why cant u create another for us."
In my experiences, a raid leader needs not just knowledge of how the mechanics of a fight works, but they also need people skills. From the sounds of things, the person that the OP describes is lacking in the latter and I really can't imagine that guild members would be willing to even sign up to his raids, let alone co-operate with him!
OP, I'm glad to hear that you have come up with a lead in to start the much overdue conversation. All the best!
The solution to this problem is simple, Remove him and anyone who wants to go with him. This is a type of poison it will eventually destroy the guild with subtle whispers of plotting against you. remove the poison now before it kills the body.
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Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.