A short Sargeras Alliance Guide to CRZ

1 Night Elf Hunter
0
DISCLAIMER: This guide is specifically made for the Sargeras master faction, the Alliance. All Sargeras horde are welcome to read it. However keep in mind you pittances are a waste of bandwidth, and thus nothing in this guide should apply to you, with one exception: every member of the Horde guild, The Turks, are the only horde worth their weight and my breath mentioning, and are considered honorary members of the Alliance.

Greetings fellow Sargeras players! This is a guide to help you through the nonsense that is CRZ, and to help you remember your identity as one of the elite Alliance players you will ever come across when you have the misfortune of leaving Stormwind and into the cross realm zones.

1. There are other Alliance in other servers?!

Believe it or not, yes. While many of us have been on Sargeras originally, or you are one of the notable players to server change here and be baptized in our elite ways, Blizzard has decided to bring down the walls that once weeded out the weakness of other Alliance members that were rightfully separated into inferior realms. These poor fools are fairly incapable and incompetent, and thus, have allowed their horde on their server to run amok. Sad, isn't it?

Be proud though! We are the elite of the elite Alliance, and hopefully these sad, sad sad, saaaad alliance players on other realms may get the chance to let our victorious ways rub off on them, though it's doubtful.

2. So with CRZ, we will encounter horde from other servers too?

Yes indeed. But unlike the Sargeras horde, whom we domesticated into flabby delicate house pets, these horde have sharpened their fangs on the incompetence of other realm's Alliance. But fear not. One Sargeras player is more than a match against a members of the horde from another realm, say Illidan realm. These other realm horde tend to band together in order to take down lone Sargeras-Alliance players who have whipped them. This is a complement, no doubt, as it requires the horde to band together in order to defeat a lone Sargeras alliance player.

3. How do I spot an Alliance player from another realm?

It's quite easy. Alliance from other realms are simple, poorly geared, and play poorly as well. While questing, they have a tendency to want to start a group with you. This is often hilarious, since in order to complete a daily or quest, they need to group with other players. Humiliate them by solo'ing the quest and make them watch as you show them how it's done. Alliance from other realms have a tendency to flee in the sight of horde, or make a group to fight horde. Also hilarious, since Sargeras Alliance players don't need group in order to PvP. Simply kill the horde yourself, or watch as the non-Sargeras Alliance are torn to pieces, and make them watch from their bodies as you mop up the horde on your own.

Do not resurrect non-Alliance Sargeras, or they won't learn anything.

They call this PvP outside of the city "world pvp". The Sargeras translation for "world pvp" is "ganking", something we do to groups of hordes naturally, and often times alone. We have been doing this since Sargera's conception, but these non-sargeras Alliance require more than one person. If you see a non-sargeras alliance player flying around in groups, pay them no heed.

4. How do I spot a non-Sargeras horde member?

Another easy question. Horde from Sargeras are known to flee in the sight of Alliance players, and are often times soft and lumpy. They flail their arms about to complete quests and dailies, and are poor in PvP. We have beaten them into docile creatures, and their cities belong to us, to raid as we see fit. They are quite cute, and make excellent pets. Non-Sargeras horde are not afraid of Alliance, having trained on the incompetent members of non-Sargeras Alliance. But in their arrogance, they fall easily to our exceptional PvP prowess, so cleanse them as you can.

They often times regroup when losing, and will make groups of 5 or more to kill you. They also sometimes make level 1 alts to rage at you. Maybe in time, we will domesticate these feral horde as we have done to our own.

============

Remember these four tips as you leave Stormwind into the unfortunate mess that is CRZ. Do not forget the realm you came from, and keep doing what it is you do best: being the best. ALL HAIL SARGERAS!
Edited by Vîvi on 9/23/2012 3:49 AM PDT
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85 Tauren Death Knight
8245
You forgot about what happened last night there. We along with Sargeras horde locked your realms SW gate and Goldshire for 4 hrs last night.

Not to mention your post is completely idiotic. What about alliance here on Illidan hmm? What do you say about their one or a few alliance 85s leading groups on our realm, though no attack ever lasted more than 8 mins at best since CRZs went live.

Think before you type before you make substandard comments.

If Illidan and Sargeras were merged you guys still wouldnt have the balls to attack Orgs south gate.
Edited by Cheezyburger on 9/23/2012 3:21 PM PDT
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100 Human Warrior
14885
You forgot about what happened last night there. We along with Sargeras horde locked your realms SW gate and Goldshire for 4 hrs last night.

Not to mention your post is completely idiotic. What about alliance here on Illidan hmm? What do you say about their one or a few alliance 85s leading groups on our realm, though no attack ever lasted more than 8 mins at best since CRZs went live.

Think before you type before you make substandard comments.

If Illidan and Sargeras were merged you guys still wouldnt have the balls to attack Orgs south gate.


You take this game entirely too seriously if you can't understand simple sarcasm.

P.S. - Go outside.
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100 Gnome Mage
14985
LOLOLOL!!! this made me laugh!
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THIS POST IS OFFENSIVE.
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90 Pandaren Monk
11155
Highly unlikely that you just beat the snot of the horde so bad they left but more likely they just changed faction and made it so.World pvp should go away since the mobs are not affected by damage reduction gear like it was in BC.
Edited by Schedyballz on 12/10/2013 7:39 PM PST
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100 Human Paladin
21605
Over a year later. Your post should start with something like "Previously on Varsity Blues...."
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