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Hell, I never even posted mine >.>. Did one last year.
You're raiding the Undercity, for whatever reason. You go through the War Quarter killing mobs. Five groups of six. Impisi Soldier x2 (warriors that Cleave and Taunt), Impisi Spy (rogue that Shadowsteps and Backstabs), Impisi Battlemage x2 (mages that cast Arcane Explosion and Arcane Blast), and one Impisi Shadowpriest (priest that cast Mind Flay and Shadowmend). As you approach the last group you'll come in front of a barracks and see him watching from a balcony. When the last mob dies he jumps down.
Edited by Malles on 10/10/2012 12:33 PM PDT
I'll do one for you:
HOLD MY SHOES!
As soon as Remnit aggros, awesome music begins to play and she starts to dance.
Remnit casts [Attention by the Auction House], tossing out 3 mailboxes at random locations (Hard mode 5). Raid members (ranged dps or healers) must jump up on these mailboxes because unoccupied mailboxes will emit a raid-wide AoE which causes spell pushback and damage equal to 3% total health every .5 seconds.
Every time a raid member gets below 50% health, Remnit yells "My friends can beat up your friends!" and summons adds which have a crapton of health but can be eliminated by targetting them and typing /dance. Dance moves scale with gear, and that will determine how long you must dance at them before they get tired and slink into a corner.
Remnit Casts [Stomp the Yard], furiously stomping on the ground in a frontal cone. Anyone caught in this area is stunned and silenced by her awesome footwork. Aggro is reset each time this occurs.
Periodically, she will cast [Totally an Accident] where she twirls around with her drink, leaving splashes of it across the floor. Anyone who steps in one of these splashes will slip and fall, which is really annoying. They will also gain a debuff called [Lose Face], slowing movement speed by 25%, reducing damage by 18%, and just being generally embarassing. Once a raid member has lost face, they should no longer be eligible for /dancing the adds away, for the time it takes to do so is doubled. The rest of the debuff, however, may be dispelled.
Phase one and two will continue to loop until Remnit is at 15% health.
Remnit becomes enraged and jumps up on one of the amplifiers placed around the edges of the room. She casts [Pump up the Bass] every 8 seconds which does a raidwide knockback, but can be interrupted.
Every 75 seconds, she will leap to a different amplifier.
The amplifiers may be dpsed at any point during the fight and have very little health, but every time one breaks, Remnit becomes angry and casts [Not Cool] on the raid member who did the most damage to the amplifier, which instantly kills them.
However, if all 6 (9 Hard Mode) amplifiers are beaten, at 15% or less health Remnit will just run out of the room crying and leave all the loot in the corner. (Closing line still applies)
Closing Line for Raid Loss:
YOU'VE BEEN SERVED!
Then she does a little twirly thing.
Closing Line for Raid Win:
If only... I had chosen... an ERP competition...
It should be noted, this boss is skippable and only drops skimpy mail and really cool tabards.
Edited by Grimms on 10/10/2012 1:08 PM PDT
I would be found in a big spooky castle. Don't ask me why you're raiding my big spooky castle, but you are. I'll be in a really big fancy room lined with closets full of fabulous outfits.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?"
I do normal warlock stuff like cast shadow bolts. I'll switch aggro with my pet every 25 seconds. The pet that I have out at a given time will be random and vary from lockout to lockout. Each one does a different thing. One tank will be on me and the other will be on my pet which get's all kinda twin emperory with my pet and I switching. Also, every 10-15 seconds my Cunning trinket procs and shoots shadow bolts at the entire party.
I also will always put a random debuff out called Fashion Police, where I mock them for being ugly/unfashionable. This nerfs their self esteem and causes them to be unable to attack/cast spells. You must run to a nearby closet and find a decent outfit to clear it.
On LFR/Normal this is all I'll do until I die. On heroic mode I have a secret phase two that starts 25 seconds after I die.
"I'm not dead!"
I Soul Stone Rez at 30% health and summon 5 doomguards who are not tauntable. They will fixate on a random ranged dps or healer. And I will drain life the main tank, dealing 10% of his health every tick and healing me a percent of my health. DPS will have to focus on the the doomguards first, then attack me. Once I hit 75% health I enrage. This is be a dps race. The faster you down the doomguards, the sooner you can pewpew me. And of course this is a fight that favors classes that can multi-dot.
On a Wipe:
"You think I should be impressed? Frankly Im embarrassed for the both of us."
On a kill:
"wankers....the lot of you."
Ok, my fight is basically like this:
I go around shouting ATATATATAATATATATATATATA while punching people at extremely fast speeds. the only way to interrupt it is by clicking on something in the room. However, blizzard accidentally bugged it to be unclickable. In fact, every boss in the entire raid depends on clicking on something in the room and none of them can reliably be clicked on so you have to wipe over and over again until you can click on it.
Ok, my fight is basically like this:
Because the REAL fight is the ragefest on the forums that will happen over this.
dude we were doing heroic doggymen and you have to click on these crystals. which is great and all, except when they aren't clickable.
It's a feature! Blizzard removed the need for clicking from the game. This feature is working as intended.
I made one for Stoni.
"This better not be boring..."
Upon the first critical hit, Stoni staggers, and the person who critted involuntarily yells out, "Stoni, you're drunk!" Stoni yells back, "SHUT UP, I'M NOT DRUNK. *YOU* ARE!" She instant casts the spell "Smashing, dahling!" which silences the entire raid for five seconds and makes everyone completely smashed. At this point she stealths and starts sneaking around, trying to get behind whoever has the most aggro. Players can choose to let the tank run around like an idiot trying to avoid her until the drunk effect wears off and they can see again (this effect wears off at exactly the same rate as it does anywhere else in the game), or they can stand still and let her catch them, continuing the fight while everything is blurry. When Stoni finally gets behind the tank, she smashes a wine barrel over his/her head, hitting for 50% of their total health.
Every three minutes, Stoni says, "I didn't really feel like playing today, anyway." She chooses a raid member at random and casts "Go away" which disconnects that player from the game and drops them at their character select screen. This can be interrupted, but only by players who have posted on the forums in the last seven days.
Do You Even Lift?:
At 25% health, Stoni yells, "You're only doing better than me because I'm a slow leveler!" At this point, her damage taken increases by 50% for 30 seconds, but every player's haste drops to zero for the rest of the fight.
"Are you using your keyboard to turn?"
"I expect tips for this kind of service!"
"Your transmog outfit isn't skimpy enough for you to get away with this!"
Closing Line for Raid Win
"I'd rather be doing outside things, anyway."
Closing Line for Raid Loss
"That was more fun than I thought it was going to be."
Edited by Remnit on 10/11/2012 8:22 AM PDT
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