Rogue rage (blog)

90 Goblin Rogue
5490
Thank you for reading, although it is easy to determine that I am not and have never been the most elite of you. Nor am I the poster child for all things Rogue. I am your average WoW player, I play too much, and I do not play well enough to fit anyone’s definition of elite. I do however love my rogue, and World of Warcraft, and do not lament that this is the hobby that makes me want to go home after work instead of drinking myself into oblivion wondering what gypsy I inadvertently crossed who cursed me and caused this undeserved beer belly.

I've decided to post some thoughts, not all are my own and I did not cite specific posters as I have been reading the forums since my (let’s call it an “episode” shall we?) “episode” after 5.04 came out. Some of the postings I have found caused me to shudder over the state of public education in the United States, and some have had a tremendously positive effect on my opinions. Like what my father said to me when I went to college, in forums you will meet the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

I was initially browsing these forums looking for people who wanted to QQ and rant in the way that I was QQing and ranting because as they say, misery loves company: "My rogue is broken" "I can’t kill squishy cloth wearers, and plate wearers are two shotting me whenever my newly nerfed stealth ability fails” I was prepared to vent hatred and bile under the auspices of Blizzard screwing up my rogue: QQ, piss, whine, moan, grief, rant, /slit wrist...you get the point.

The forums changed my mind:
Concerning my talent tree and all the "customization" that I used to have in Cata...I was reluctantly educated from some very gifted players/posters here and forced to acknowledge the unthinkable: I never really had class specialization or the ability to customize under the cata talent trees. I thought I did, but what i thought was specialization was in reality just putting *one* talent point in a skill not suggested by Noxxic. I was generic sub rogue number 424232 in a sea of generic sub rogues. I was as special as a herring in a net. When 5.04 was released...I logged in, hit my first squishy mage for a back-stab registering 2400 damage, blew all my cds, and hadn't even dropped his shield. I promptly proceeded to lose my freaking mind. If I had a tumor, I would name it "Panda". How I hate Pandas, their association with the 5.04 patch and subsequent nerfing of my beloved rogue. I hated Kung-Fu, China, international trade, and was developing a healthy disdain for anything even peripherally related to monks. I considered writing letters to David Carradine to let him know how much his Kung-Fu show in the 70’s blew. (I didn’t know he was dead because when it was on the news I was busy wiping in Firelands.) How I wanted to tear tufts of hair from the Panda’s fluffy faces. I wanted to murder scores of their fat “Zen” preaching cubs. I wanted to purge Pandaria, Azeroth, and the city zoo of everything furry (except you know, actual "Furries" because that would be discriminatory and against the user agreement of the forums and also have the inadvertent effect of causing Goldshire on the RP servers to become a barren wasteland.) I wanted to be Deathwing, but without all the over acted voice-overs and stereotypical Justice League evil villain monologues. I wanted to make people cry. But the worst thing about the entire “episode” was that I was completely impotent, and I knew it. I had been digitally neutered. I would likely get face-rolled by the first level 20 Panda monk that I clumsily and ineffectually pseudo-stealth up on.

/rage/rage/QQ/spit/yell at my cat/develop a drug problem

Today, I realize that this emotional response was because I am conflicted and up until this morning, in a state of crisis. I do not know which talents to pick, nobody can assure me that any selection is right or wrong, and I am switching talents back and forth with the frequency of a cheap Ham radio. In a nutshell, I now have to make actual choices and I have the ability to alter my choices in real time as my circumstances require. I cannot just set them and forget them any longer. My previous theory-crafter approved spec had made me as comfortable as an inmate might grow in the confines of his cell. I was institutionalized.
Edited by Slyck on 10/12/2012 11:10 PM PDT
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
I am beginning to entertain the thought that the causality of the rogue "nerf" may not be as I suspected that the chief developer of the rogue class slept with someone very important to a member of Blizzard/Activision's army of suit wearing banker types and that Suit decided to destroy the charming young developers legacy. This "nerf" may actually be the developers trying to right a wrong. Despite the fact that I have grown accustomed to the wrong and like the prisoners from Plato's Allegory of the Cave, I'll fight kicking and screaming when someone tries to show me the way things really are/should be. Routine is a tremendous motivator and comfort.

(/hate/hate/rage@bankers)

I realized slowly, that the lack of online guidance and conspicuous absence of Jedi-Master tutorials may actually be because it is now impossible to tell people what talents to select for all circumstances. The sites featuring theory-craft gurus have lost more mojo than I did. There is no cookie cutter anymore. I very literally have access to all 18 talents and they are available whenever I need them. Slowly, I realize that I am disappointed that my rage is losing fuel because I rehearsed my rant for hours last night in the shower.

Concerning theme: Pandaria is actually pretty neat, aesthetically beautiful, and sort of well...Zen. Except for Dread Wastes because !%*$ bugs. I am no longer as offended by all the rep grinds as I routinely get rewarded with big rep gains sort of randomly. (at least I have no idea where that apple came from) The Pandas have begun to win me over to the extent that I'm no longer exhibiting the symptoms of my initial racism, or is it speciesism? w/e /rage/rage@political correctness

I began to wonder if perhaps I was overreacting because I didn't strugglle accepting other diverse racial/species additions to the game. This time however, I was thankful and maliciously giddy that actual Panda Bears are an endangered species. I play a Forsaken...a rotting, ambulatory, damned, Stabby McStabbity, corpse. My toon could be the protagonist in any Wes Craven movie.....but I hate Pandas…there is something about this that I’m sure would require therapy if I ever left the confines of Azeroth enough to be noticed by the general community that I live in.

I begin to feel concern that my “episode” might indicate a need for medication.

PVP vs PVE: Reality check: PvP is the way of the future. It is completely endorsed by virtually every console game that I have seen anyone play. Kill other players, it’s brilliant. Make the Big Bad another person that you can switch factions and whisper to until /ignored. Let him spam “Y O U L O S E” after every killing blow because that person, that colossal jerk, my friends, is going to make you play so much harder than any raid boss. That person is going to make you feel emotion. That person is also paying blizzard very real money for the right to be the object of all of your snuff film fantasies. If Blizzard/Activision can through the power of the electronic roofie, dope us into finding entertainment in killing each other, they can keep us paying to use each other as raid instance content. We are a walking embodiment to the theory that having two cats is better than one because they will entertain one another instead of walking on your keyboard as a feline way to let you know that you haven’t changed the litter box and you are one negligent pet owner. Blizzard, for their part, is free to invest fewer resources in creative development for an aging game and can allocate resources to new projects that will incorporate more advanced engines and such. Meanwhile, I am pleasantly distracted like a deer staring into the headlights of a careening garbage truck by every opportunity to get my ego crushed by stupid cloth wearing girly humans or some repulsive Worgan. Worgan are so nasty....gross. When they do that whole running on all fours thing with the “Mr Hyde” top-hat I routinely vomit into one of the many empty Doritos bags littering my gaming desk.

To invest more in Player vs Player content is smart business and makes complete sense, we should applaud their exit strategy knowing that they want us entertained so we can transition to their new projects. We are the consumer, they /need/ us in that new game. We are important to them as a mass, and when I say as a mass, I mean we are important as a group that is much bigger than the few thousand of us who troll on these forums. (no, that wasn’t directed at you)
Edited by Slyck on 10/12/2012 7:19 PM PDT
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
In conclusion, the frustration that I brought here to the forums to cathartically dispel via rage quit bluffing and venom spitting QQ while simultaneously hoping someone would recognize my cry for help and give me some hugs......is gone. Thanks in no small part to the exceptional analysis of some of the forum posters that I found after weeding through piles of the type of dung that I was intending to splatter everywhere. It sort of feels like finally finding that engagement ring after sorting through three days of my own poop and multiple vows never to let my fiancee' talk me into trying /that/ little game again.....TMI...moving on..

I went back to my rogue and began experimenting with the new talent tree...trying new things that did not fit into the play style that I learned in Cata. You know the one, garrote/hemo/bs/kS/bs/bs/evis/ emote. (I'm smiling just thinking about it, like prom.)

I'm excited again and I owe it to these forums and some insightful posters. I now believe that nobody knows enough yet about the hidden dynamics of this expansion. I cannot rely on Noxxic to tell me how to be relevant. I am finally in control. By proxy, I am excited at the opportunity to be elite. To be a front-line player in the monumental task to recreate that familiar trade chat rant that the Rogue is the worst, cheapest, most abusively imbalanced, unfair, OP, bull&%@# class in WoW. I am blessed with the chance to validate your enraged opinion that I am some motherless pig !@#$ing troll with no skills and an obvious fetish for German midget !@#$ who is a walking, ganking, embodiment of overcompensation for completely inadequate genitalia. Just like you always knew I and every other rogue always were.

I get the chance to be the Big Bad. Thanks Blizzard.

For those of you who read this Wall O Text, thank you for sharing the WoW experience with me. I look forward to seeing you when you’re fishing/eating/mining/rezzing/afk/etc.
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85 Troll Mage
6515
tl;dr rogues were op
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
tl;dr = too long; didn't read. i.e The ultimate in underachievement.

"I think I'm going to log into the forums and read what people wrote....!@#$....they wrote in words....god I hate words....why the %^-* is there always !@#$ing words when I decide to read something? %^-*, I could strain my eyeball...I know what I'll do, I'll post some letters that signify words that would mean that i didn't really want to read anything that you know, had a lot of words in it. Then I'll call rogues OP so the guy thinks that I'm too cool to bother with you know, the subject of the post but whatever he said was wrong anyway."

ts;dc;fu
Edited by Slyck on 10/12/2012 9:45 PM PDT
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90 Orc Warrior
8000
tl;dr
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
lol, it is pretty long. I added blog to the title so people know not to click it if they don't like blogs. Thanks for the....feedback? I'm not sure that's the word, but thanks for the comments, you keep it bumped.
Edited by Slyck on 10/13/2012 1:23 AM PDT
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tl;dr stand up for your class! DO NOT re-roll Warrior!
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90 Undead Mage
12325
"blog" reeks of merriam-webster.
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
Fair enough. I'm actually listening to the responses and learning, what would be a better term? Article?
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90 Undead Mage
12325
maybe i should rephrase that. coming off an elitist angle, and trying to use big words and dropping satire is having an adverse effect.

i skimmed your 3 great wall of china posts. i grade papers every now and then, and have never been more confused as to what point you're trying to make.

seems like all you wanted to do was exceed the word limit twice, and get criticims from a low pop server, where <20 people check the forums. half of your post seems like a "dear diary", and then there are sections where you contradict how you feel about mop, and then offer your bizarre take on blizzard's decisions moving forward.
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
Thanks for your clarification,

I was writing a blog. I do that for non wow subjects as an amateur as I haven't managed to transcend into professional yet. The satire is present with the purpose of entertaining. I had hope I could diminish any "Elitist" interpretations by qualifying my play as "non-elite" in the first paragraph, as that is immediately the biggest invitation to attack, but it didn't work here it seems. Concerning the vocabulary, big words are just words to me and I use them as easily as small words. But pointing out that using big words creates a feeling of elitism helps me a ton to understand my demographic here, thanks. Be assured, this post has no targets, no criticism of others, no trolling.

I get that you weren't entertained and so far, I haven't received any negativity in responses here or on other sites til I posted on my home server. However, that's also not an indictment of you, just a test of audience. I posted it here for an example of a writing style that I wanted to be easily accessed by some folks that I am contacting concerning a project that involves WoW that I am working on.

I really don't mind answering you honestly without defensiveness because it is a part of a bigger project. It took me about half an hour to write and when I checked it out, I can see areas where it could use improvement to minimize fluff and maximize humor content. I also can see how you find the writing to be non-linear in reasoning, which was intentional on my part, but not executed very well concerning your take on it. I appreciate your opinion, I have received others that differ but it's important for me in the future to understand the good and the bad and figure out which parts appealed to those who liked it, and which parts created the most negative opinions. So far, it seems on this posting, it is the length that created the biggest turn-offs.

Oh, and trust me, the intent was not to "get criticisms" because frankly, who the hell would want that? I just seemed to get criticisms here. This is posted in about two dozen places online and this is the only thread that "got criticisms" so I'll take them into consideration for sure.

The other postings on the different threads and different sites was to test the responsiveness of those individual forum categories for future usage. The sites that require paid membership fared much better sometimes generating 50+ responses and very few negative ones. Research is key before I invest any money into the project. I have learned that these forums are not the best place for postings of this nature though. This particular rendition of the posting had a specific intended audience and I frankly did not expect any responses on the Lethon forum except for the people I spoke to in game and told about it.

Thanks again.

Oh, and my post about the Tl;Dr stuff was actually sort of self-indulgent because I did contribute to a blog concerning asinine internet catchphrases that was published. However, my role in it was a contribution I made in the writers tank and not exclusively my work, so I sort of knee jerked some material out concerning that one reply and created a monster. I'll own it. One general rule to writing anything online is really "don't even read the comment section." But I blew that one. So, sorry I raised the ire of your guild. I'm a big fan of CHAMPION. I consider it to be the best on our server in PVP, the responses here are no deterrent to my opinion.
Edited by Slyck on 10/13/2012 6:20 PM PDT
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85 Troll Mage
6515
What, no you said right in your post you couldn't dance on anybody and kill them anymore and you went looking for sympathy QQ from the deadest forum on battle.net.

I did read it though. For example, I know you originally said you were a blood elf, and now it says you're a forsaken. My post was the coles notes. I'm a really dumb human, which means that I'm your target audience as an entry level blogger with nothing interesting to say. Smart people don't need random blog opinions and disorganized rambling in their lives, that's for bored !@#$% like me.

It's great that you're an amateur blogger with aspirations of, I don't know, gawker network fame or something. I wish you luck on becoming part of the ad-driven, neverending content farm that is internet blogging.
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
Not totally sure I understood that last post. It's beginning to seem like an endless tirade of aggression from some of your guild members at a post, then at an intention, then at the nature of internet writing itself, you guys ok?

I race changed from the blood elf to Forsaken for the fun of it. I described the change in opinion and transition from QQ to excitement and inspiration as the tale of a frustrated player who went to the forums to cry and instead read them and had a change of heart. It's a tale of redemptive catharsis post trauma. I would go so far as to say an epic legacy of transition and example of the malleability of the human condition.

That humble blog is a educational resource fitting for publishing amongst the greatest writers of contemporary times such as Stan Lee, Joss Whedon, and Charlie Manson. I fully expect it to be studied by students along with the Iliad, Odyssey, and Plato's Republic.

I expect a sticky, blue post responses regaling me with praise and job offers to join Blizzard/Activisions public relations department, and a monthly stipend for food, rent, and free gaming time. I expect your colleagues to one day be "sometimes grading papers" that were written on my epic tale of video game emotion.

I expect a Pulitzer, Congressional medals of honor, and a possible Nobel peace prize.

I believe that this original thread will garner me the most amazing honors that academia can bestow such as honorary degrees from Cambridge, the writers guild, and Evelyn Woodheads sped reeding corse.

There you go pal, I have retroactively made you relevant and more justified for your angst. Just one more service I provide through my altruistic contributions to mankind.

If you will excuse me, The president is on the other line asking my opinion on whether or not he should make an executive order to nerf second wind.

When not blogging, I dabble in theoretical physics and am currently redesigning the thrust vectoring system of the F22 Raptor to include ion drives. For lunch, I intend on discovering the Higgs Boson using a piece of licorice and a flashlight.

Thanks for your feedback.
Edited by Slyck on 10/14/2012 10:11 AM PDT
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85 Troll Mage
6515
What, nobody's aggressive, the only endless thing is your rambling, Champion isn't doing anything except pet battling 24/7, and we're all fine. So dramatic.

You should practice being concise, ex "i mad bro" instead of that wall of tired unoriginal garbage. Maybe start a twitter to practice.
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90 Goblin Rogue
5490
No, you really are. You engage every post with sarcastic passive aggressiveness when you aren't using actual aggression and insult.

I think I've seen enough of this forum to hypothesize why the server is underpopulated and <20 people check the forum as you say. Its because of you. You log in searching for a target to attack with your pals and create an environment that is unfriendly and just sort of sucky.

In a nutshell, you guys are just dicks.

You win, it sucks here.

lesson learned. Troll on Champion!
Edited by Slyck on 10/14/2012 3:24 PM PDT
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90 Orc Warrior
8000
tl;dr
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90 Orc Warrior
8000
You engage every post with sarcastic passive aggressiveness when you aren't using actual aggression and insult.

I think I've seen enough of this forum to hypothesize why the server is underpopulated and <20 people check the forum as you say. Its because of you. You log in searching for a target to attack with your pals and create an environment that is unfriendly and just sort of sucky.

You win, it sucks here. I'm no longer going to be a fan of Champion. Not that you would care because I don't think you knew you had fans or people who were rooting for you. You were wrong.

lesson learned, I'm done here. Troll on Champion!


Okay, let's see how this thread went... You posted 3 full posts about nothing really, which I legitimately tried to read. Suave did too, apparently, but felt it was too long and uninteresting so he posted some honest feedback: tl;dr.

This is not aggression.

Then, the aggressor of the thread emerged:


"tl;dr = too long; didn't read. i.e The ultimate in underachievement. "I think I'm going to log into the forums and read what people wrote....!@#$....they wrote in words....god I hate words....why the %^-* is there always !@#$ing words when I decide to read something? %^-*, I could strain my eyeball...I know what I'll do, I'll post some letters that signify words that would mean that i didn't really want to read anything that you know, had a lot of words in it. Then I'll call rogues OP so the guy thinks that I'm too cool to bother with you know, the subject of the post but whatever he said was wrong anyway."

ts;dc;fu


I absolutely guarantee this thread would not have gone as it did if you had not taken the most common phrase on forums so personally and felt the need to retaliate at a non-aggressive post. If you are so easily offended, I would advise against blogging, because there are much harsher criticisms out there than saying something is too long.
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46 Blood Elf Priest
465
tl:dr
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90 Orc Hunter
20730
No, you really are. Read back, look how you engage. You are immune to offers of rapport, you wont be entertained no matter what, You ignore offers of engagement in favor of trying to fabricate reasons why you must attack. You engage every post with sarcastic passive aggressiveness when you aren't using actual aggression and insult.


in other words, hes trolling. yep he probably is, but you didnt have to type a paragraph to describe his actions as a troll. thats why the "TL;DR" comment.

Its all you man. It's all about you, and there is /nothing/ I can say that will alter the way this is going. I think I've seen enough of this forum to hypothesize why the server is underpopulated and <20 people check the forum as you say. Its because of you. You log in searching for a target to attack with your pals and create an environment that is unfriendly and just sort of sucky.


oh right. this forum is dead solely because hes trolling it. no, let me break it down for ya. this forum's been dead for years. our occasional trolling actually brings more attention to this forum than anything.

You win, it sucks here. Champion trolls and attacks posters without any reason or care. I've now changed my mind about your guild. I'm no longer a fan. I know you don't care because I don't think you ever believed that you had fans. You were wrong.


well i cant speak for everyone else in champion, but personally i dont give a fk if you love me or hate me(unless you're a super qtpie and you happened to lub me then we can chat ^_^). we're all here to play this game our way right? so i play my game, you play yours. whether or not we cross paths.. dont really matter.

If WoW was considered a part of the Esport community, you are not the type who would be good for it, so promoting players affiliated with you is a bad idea. Which was exactly why I posted here. And when I say exactly, I mean it. I was (its laughable now)...posting here to make it easy for Deadpanther to find. I asked him to be my first interview subject for a WoW pvp esports site I am making. Ask him if you want, I contacted him the day I re-posted this on the Lethon thread to make it convenient for him to find.


you should offer him icecream, it'd really speed up the interview process. on another note, if this crap i just read is getting posted on your esport site, you'll get about as much attention as the lethon forums. less than 1/4 of the stuff in this thread is remotely constructive or onpoint about rogues. the rest is just you ranting that you couldnt wtfgib someone last season even when rogues were op, and that now you actually have to 'try' to halfgib someone with all your timers popped. hey, nobody said every class is balanced. but just to be clear, the #1 3s team right now on nightfall is rogue/hunt/shm. yep, there's a rogue in it.

I'm pretty shocked that it was Champion who attacked the thread, and I'm not even kidding when I say that this was the only posting on any thread that got attacked...I really honestly thought that you guys just played hard, I didn't really get the online bully vibe til now.


we didnt attack the thread, we merely brought up the reason nobody reads the forum anymore. people like quirky one-liners, not paragraphs of non-constructive rage. and no we're not bullying anyone in these threads either. the only bullying i like to do is in tradechat, after some "rbg players" from dark legends cause my alt to lose a tb defense game by fighting on the roads.

Ill bet that when you aren't trolling trade chat or attacking thread posters over things that had really nothing aggressive said to you, you are posting hate comments on online memorial pages for deceased children.


maybe you should stop betting and play your rogue better eh?
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