Your Manly Hallow's End "To Do List".

90 Troll Death Knight
Hello Old Firetree friends

After three hundred and sixty-five days of being WoW-less, I have returned, with a Gladiator Vengeance.

Sorry this is late(I am very busy and important) but you have 1 week left to "finish" Hallow's end the right way.

Fortunately I am here to intervene with what ever Pve noobitry you are probably doing and I have written this to do list for you, because I love you.

If you would like to re-read this in blog form, (with pretty pictures) the link is posted below :D

This is probably you; Level 30, Title-less & with a pet cockroach

1. Cat Pet (Why don’t you have it yet?)

Tricky Treat is the currency to obtain this high caliber companion. Need I say more? Get your fat !@# to farming. The cat mounts up with you. It has a sickk hat, it’s mildly racist; the perfect pet companion.

To Obtain the Legendary Feline Familiar Companion one must:

*Travel to like every possible inn you know
*Collect 150 Tricky Treats from the Pumpkins(and EXP xD)
*Roll Deep to the Undercity because you play Horde like any respectable player
*Purchase your new pet from orcish child that’s found on the courtyard of Undercity

You are now well on your way to Perpetual Gladiation.

2. Obtain Magic Broom Hax

An Instant Cast Mount? Is this LEGAL??? It’s basically Druid Swift Flight Form for whatever clearly underpowered class you attempt to play. You can literally Vanish-Mount-Flyaway, Feign Death-Mount-Flyaway, Shadowmeld-Mount-Flyaway. It’s usable in Arena, God knows why. I’ve seen a Night Elf Priest in the 2800s Shadowmeld-Mount to escape my unbridled wrath. Seriously. Of course I still won, but I mean come on. Rude. And it’s a damn Broom Stick, how sick is that? You don’t have to feed it like your Merciless Nether Drake or fuel it like your Goblin Rocket, Harry Potter. If you really wanna $%^- with your poopy friends – whip out your two person mount. Drop your beloved passenger pals into the middle of bum*!@# no where Alliance camp or Afghanistan and just broom away. As they parachute to their demise, the moment will be forever engraved into their memory banks. Hit up lowbies in trade chat if you don’t have any friends. They will also be very upset to find themselves in your opposite faction’s home city.

3. Turn Raid Members(Pve Scum) into Fun Bats

Infuriate the meek. Let’s be honest, raiding is dull and the people you are forced to coexist with can barely tie their aprons before they begin an eight hour work shift at Starbucks. Put your guild to the test by turning your diabetes diagnosed Raid Leader and his main healers into Fun Bats! Fun Bats are unable to perform any abilities, and should be best used on critical players, like Virgin Joe or Fat Sally. They are in everyone’s guild, look for high achievement points. You’ll find them. If you really care about completing this guide, because you are a man, Raid Finder can help. Your new temporary pals would be very upset if they were capable of understanding the situation, which is prevented by their mild retardation.

4. Swagger the Headless Horseman’s Helm

Obnoxious to even the most seasoned of trolls, let them kneel before you with your epic in-game trollfase. Macro this $%^- to all your cooldowns so you can be straight trollin 24/7, it makes ridiculous laughing sounds every 25ish seconds(scientific evidence provided below). This is probably a good helm for you anyway considering you hardly play because of your exclusive male modeling career. So if you love being a #!#%!!@%% in 5mans, this is for you dawg. If your party members have yet to turn off their in-game sounds, they will now. You now have my permission to Troll.

5. Receive Hallow’s End title (even though you should have Gladiator or the Immortal)

Since the Immortal is no longer obtainable and you’ve yet to learn the ways of the Arenaverse to reach Gladiator standards, then the Hallowed title is a perfect second tier title for you. Don’t forget that this is also a prerequisite for the achievement: What a long, strange trip it’s been. Just don’t tell your friends that you’re going for achievements or even think about posting about it here.

6. Last but not least; Shave your freaking legs and go outside

Halloween is hands down the best holiday. There’s candy, pumpkin carving, house TPing and dressing as a chick(wtf?) or as your hero. Add the grown-up touches of drugs and women in sexy costumes, and it’s a dream come true. Make sure that after finishing this Manly To Do List, you go out and party in the same manner Arenaverse blogs, Like a Baller.

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