Get the Desktop App for Battle.net Now
- All your games in 1 place
- Log in once
- Automatic game updates
Salutations fellow denizens of the internet. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. The UnforOHGODBEES! (the exclamation point is necessary for the intended effect) is seeking potential friends to join our rascally band of digital dragon slayers, and sing songs around the campfire with us (after we are finished divvying up the scraps of precious purples that rambunctious tyke of a boss was using to pay for his only child's college fund of course).
We raid 6 hours a week; Tuesday and Thursday from 10 P.M. to 1 A.M. Server time. These times, like most things about us, ARE FLEXIBLE, this means that sometimes we start 30 minutes early, start 30 minutes late, end 30 minutes late, etc. This doesn't mean that we're going to drag you kicking and screaming along if you have obligations that conflict with these extensions, and we're not the kind of group that will verbally berate you like an unruly school child for being a few minutes tardy.
IMPORTANT NOTICE ABOUT TIMES: We are considering changing times come January because of classes, please keep this in mind should you consider joining.
We are currently looking for Healers (With a DPS off-spec) and 1 DPS or 1 Tank
For Healers, we are seeking:
every class but Paladins and Druids, (please have a reasonable DPS set, we expect your set to be something functional and raid ready.)
Our group has a bit of history, and most of our players have been playing together for many a year. We are almost always on mumble at night, and we like to engage in casual Seinfeldian dialogue; mocking one another's failures, successes, and taste, oftentimes whilst playing video games (not necessarily World of Warcraft). Needless to say, if you cannot endure a casual ribbing, if you cannot accept that you may have a flaw present that we will brutally and swiftly attack, then you will not survive among us. If you can bite back, if you have skin hardened by years of parental abuse and a horrible, miserable, cynical, nihilistic existence, then you will fit right in!
As a group, we pride ourselves on our ability and progress relative to the amount of time we spend on content; our players often rank on World of Logs, and our players try to stay up to date with all the newest theory crafting shenanigans. Our group may goof off, we may crack wise, we may snark, and deliver awful punny zingers, but when we step up to bat, you can be damn sure we're Barry Bondsing that $%^- (for the metaphorically challenged that means we mean business when it comes time to break loot pinatas). This means that if you want to join, we expect that you will not fail at basic class knowledge or raid mechanics. We will not crush your hopes and dreams if you manage to screw up once or twice, but we will drop you like Fatman and Little Boy if you consistently fail to perform to a decent standard. We are patient, but your chosen deity help you if you wipe us multiple times because your lack of peripheral version caused you to interpret the warming orange glow dancing around your character's feet as a damage boost.
We are relatively flexible, and we know that real life often feels like inflicting eraser sized burn marks on your arm with a cigarette made of aborted fetuses and broken dreams. It is because of this that we understand that you may need to miss a raid every once in a while. This flexibility does not mean we are gullible knuckle draggers who will buy your bull$%^- every week; it means that we won't jump down your throat and try to sodomize your digestive tract if you have to drive your intoxicated cousin Danny to the hospital because he tried to impregnate an angry cage fighter.
If you feel like we're right for you, if you feel like we're the ones, we're here for you baby. Whisper the posh gentlemen in the post below, for more information should you wish to inquire as to the details of your prospective trial period.
Edited by Egnurg on 12/26/2012 4:04 PM PST
Andyandy, the resident southern gentleman. His family tree lack forks, he owns a windowless van with a mattress in the back, and his mother may be patient zero for a myriad number of filthy venereal diseases.
Pattypat, a nasally voiced douche bag with a wordhole which exports unreasonable hatred for complete strangers and passé slang and imports tubesteak. He is from Hawaii and is a Nanking UNWILLING COPULATION baby (this means his Daddy is a Samurai and his mother is a Communist). Tried to go to the danger zone, but was denied entry because his lungs, as a mechanism for breathing, are apparently as effective as fishnet stockings used as male birth control.
Kinch, a paragon of righteousness and a veritable gaming wizard. He exudes skill and the sheer intensity of his proximity is known to drive lesser men into delusional panics. It is said that once every thousand years or so years, give or take a century or two, he leaves the Earth to be reborn on the sun, the last time he left, the Dark Ages happened. His existence is the impetus that carries the Earth's orbit. He is the protagonist in the story of life, and you should consider yourself lucky to be considered a supporting character. He's also Japanese.
Egnurg, I will not elaborate more onto the nature of my personality or accomplishments, as that would be conceited and rude.
Mywaifu, an !@#$%^- if ever there was one. If you like something, he will declare it *!@# by virtue of your association with it. He is never slow to tell you his bombastic opinions, and his unwarranted ego is only dwarfed by the misery and disgust he casts out from himself like a noon shadow. Also worthy to note, his waifu, is a blind $%^-. But she's classy.
Edited by Egnurg on 11/28/2012 10:31 PM PST
Fun medical fact:
Never lie about being a smoker when making a multi-day hospital visit as you are incapable of pooping without your daily dose of nicotine. Unless you enjoy enemas from leathery old nurses and the mother of all butt-cramps, just tell them you smoke and get your nicotine poop-patch before !@#$%^-*!s are stretched.
Also if you're a dps/healer join our guild.
Woah there mandingo, our guild doesn't accept that kind of disrespectful language. If you have a problem with something, you need to file a complaint with HR and then wait 6-7 business days so that I can call you and tell you to suck my *!##@@#!.
I am a jedi warrior. I believe in the SAMURAI code. I am a warrior monk for the betterment of the world. I am a citizen of the Earth. I will defeat the evils of warfare and hate with the lustrous sheen of my love and understanding.
Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.
Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.
Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.