The Screams! Healing <IOOM> Raids 101

100 Human Priest
10890
<Is Out Of Mana>, recipient of the 2008 Nobel Peace Prize in Raid Progression*, is seeking one or two additional healers to assist in crushing the hopes and aspirations of our fledgling raid team.

Most of the recruitment posts you’ll find here on Runetotem are seeking competent, level-headed, reliable players who understand the boss fights and know how to play their class. We here at IOOM feel that these guilds are setting the bar WAY TOO HIGH. At least one of our mages was retrieved – er, ‘recruited’ - from a storm drain using a coat hanger and a piece of moist chewing gum.

Our tent is so big that you’re probably already inside it and just haven’t realized it yet, although you may have been puzzling over the musty smell of canvas and cat urine.

Will yours finally be the finger to stopper our pressurized spray of fail?

Please take a moment to complete the questionnaire below.

1. Do your raid contributions often appear as ‘234444434445444444444444442” in guild chat?

2. Do you have a hotkey or macro that yells “PEAR SHAPED” and immediately ditches all weapons and armor?

3. Do you refuse to heal gnomes, claiming that they show up as pets in Grid?

4. Do you often arrive late, or not at all, to raids? If yes, please explain whether this tardiness/absenteeism is related in any way to either bacon or Funyuns.

5. Do you find it amusing and relevant that properly-glyphed priests now float about “in their own little cloud”?

If you’ve answered YES (or BACON) to any of the above questions, and have already sought the assistance of a licensed mental health professional, I would encourage you to slope over to ioom.enjin.com and take a whack at our application. (If it breaks apart and spills candy and lead-painted toys all over the ground, please send me a PM right away.)

We are a couple of weeks and one healer away from our first stabs at normal MV, running on Wednesday nights from 9:30 – 11:30 server or thereabouts.

Have fun; kill many things!

-Cat

* From the Nobel Prize Committee documentation: ‘More harmless than harmful, <Is Out Of Mana> has single-handedly contributed more to the cause of raid boss longevity than all other Runetotem guilds combined. When entering a raid instance with IOOM, a great whisper of relief rises up from the dark places, running its fingers through your hair like a gentle breeze: “Our treasures are safe this night.” If you’re allied with those pursuing world peace in Azeroth, you’d be hard-pressed to find a group of men and women more dedicated to the cause. These guys are about as dangerous as a pink terrycloth bath robe, recently warmed and fluffed in the drier and set out together with a pair of white bunny slippers. It's more like raid regression than progression, in a sense.”

Ed. Note: Paladins. Pffft.

Edit: Funyuns are not spelled like "onions" according to my wife.
Edited by Caterpillar on 12/9/2012 5:37 PM PST
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Hey Cat! I am more then willing to help you guys out as always, but i would want to keep my healer in said guild its in. I currently have a druid or priest available. Let me know if u guys want a hand or not.

~Shank
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90 Human Mage
9390
12/09/2012 02:44 PMPosted by Caterpillar
At least one of our mages was retrieved – er, ‘recruited’ - from a storm drain using a coat hanger and a piece of moist chewing gum.


This cannot possibly be me. Everyone knows the way to lure me out of my storm drain is with beer!

Hey Cat! I am more then willing to help you guys out as always, but i would want to keep my healer in said guild its in. I currently have a druid or priest available. Let me know if u guys want a hand or not.


You're still as amazing as ever, Shank <3
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12/09/2012 04:23 PMPosted by Lylaria
At least one of our mages was retrieved – er, ‘recruited’ - from a storm drain using a coat hanger and a piece of moist chewing gum.


This cannot possibly be me. Everyone knows the way to lure me out of my storm drain is with beer!

Hey Cat! I am more then willing to help you guys out as always, but i would want to keep my healer in said guild its in. I currently have a druid or priest available. Let me know if u guys want a hand or not.


You're still as amazing as ever, Shank <3


/Blush
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100 Human Priest
10890
We will definitely keep you in mind, Shank - and it's no problem if you'd like to sub in with us while keeping your toons in their current guild. :)
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90 Night Elf Hunter
5935
So what you're saying is that my Hunter heals aren't good enough eh? Pfft! Good enough for Whisper!
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100 Human Priest
10890
Well..."Mend Pet" could come in handy if we're raiding with gnomes on any given day. ;)
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100 Human Priest
10890
Up up up with a fish!
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90 Pandaren Shaman
5915
This thread requires some Wiz Kalifa IMO
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100 Human Priest
10890
The Vaults are finally here (don't laugh!) and we still need more bacon. I mean, players.

Bump!
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92 Night Elf Druid
15740
Top 5 predictions for Caterpillar and IOOM in 2013:

5. Caterpillar shows up to a raid wearing a pant suit.
4. Ysulde shows up to a raid not wearing any pants.
3. Mogu'shan Vaults gets new skeleton carpet courtesy of IOOM.
2. Even though it has been removed from the game, Holy Nova is still cast repeatedly.
1. Anyone who joins this guild will laugh, cry, die and kill new bosses....maybe not in that order...

P.S. This is a whole lot funnier after several rum and cokes. /toast Sir Henry Morgan!
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90 Human Paladin
6875
This thread needs more haiku!

Want to raid with us?
Let's learn the fights together;
do not die like Cat.

;)
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100 Human Priest
10890
Is Out Of Mana
Plug your ears with sealing wax -
Vogon poetry
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90 Dwarf Paladin
7710
But that's only the third worst poetry in the universe. I can take it....
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100 Human Priest
10890
Nicely played, sir!
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90 Troll Shaman
7560
I have to tell you had I rolled alliance and not hated gnomes as much as I do I would have jumped on the opportunity to be lathered in the fail you are peddling. Good luck.

I am Razputen and I am a Troll (on so may levels)
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90 Dwarf Paladin
7710
Don't think of it as fail. Think of it as resetting the cosmic balance.
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100 Human Priest
10890
Did I mention that we have a sparsely furnished, yet fully armed and operational Horde sister guild as well, <Needs More Rage>, on the Malfurion server? It's VERRRRRY exclusive and stuff. /crickets
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90 Troll Hunter
13915
Have to admit, this recruitment post is really cute. Hope your raiding is going well! :)
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