im not having a very good day. my boyfriend and i might be breaking up. or not. its unclear. ive been crying since 8 am, while at work, have gotten nothing done, and have raging headache. christmas, my favorite holiday, now ruined.
even grumpy cat isnt helping. D:
That's really rough. :( I'm sorry to hear that. -hug-
A few thoughts, to take or leave:
a. If it looks like a break up is inevitable, do so now. Dragging it out will make things worse for both of you.
b. If a break up doesn't seem to be the only end, and his issues don't interfere, work with him to help plan a really good Christmas together.
c. Seeing a counselor or therapist might help. If individually, you can learn how to better help yourself and him in this situation (and he can do the same). If together, you can mete out plans and goals to get through it together.
d. If you do break up now, try to find the silver lining. I know it feels like your holiday is ruined, but you can prevent it from going sour if you're determined. I speak from personal experience on this one. Sometimes it helps to buckle down and be stubborn. Don't be afraid to ask for help, though. We're here for you, and I'm sure your RL friends will be as well. Plan some nights out with friends—or maybe tea/coffee one-on-one with a few you rarely see.
e. Don't beat yourself up. I've been in relationships with people who need more than I feel capable of giving, and I know how it feels to want to be there and give more but find that it comes with a cost you just can't meet. You're not a bad person for not feeling strong enough. If you think you might be strong enough, give it a go, but remember not to compromise your own emotional well-being.
f. Communication is huge. You and your boyfriend should take some time to think about everything, and then meet where you both feel safe and comfortable to discuss everything. "I feel" is a great expression to use, because no one can reasonably deny that you feel a certain way. Make a promise with each other to avoid any blame, if it's relevant to what you need to discuss, and to listen fully and do your best to avoid feeling hurt or angry.
Also, if you ever need to vent, want a personal cheerleader, or just need a quick hug, feel free to add me on realID (email@example.com) and I'd be happy to help with any and all. Just make sure to make a note in the request, so I know who you are. :>
Thanks so much. This has to be the nicest post I've read in a good long while. Paragraph e resonated with me particularly.
You guys are the best. <3