Melbogathra the rapper vs true love

100 Pandaren Monk
11865
I'm tired of you leading me on! This is it! My magnum opus! My heart, my soul, and all my passion! My eyes were fixed on the sunset until it sank below the clouds and only the starless dark of rejection remained!

(It's Stan! Sing to the tune of Stan! My heart was a wardrum beat blah blah blah)

My mana tea’s stone cold
I’m wondering why
I went and logged on at all
The morning raid fills up my window
And I don’t care at all
Even if I could it would all be lame
But your picture on my facebook wall
It reminds me that
I’m not so bad
I’m not so bad


Dear Sauura, I mailed you but you still ain’t responded
I left my healer’s name, my main and both my alt bank accounts
I send two mails the other day in Orgimmar
But I ain’t gonna hate
It probably was Blizzard’s cut rate mail servers
So I guess it’s straight
Sometimes I type in names too fast though so though don't fret
But !@#$ it, how’s your new job? Have they made you CEO yet?
My new E-wife’s pregnant too; I’m about to be a daddy
If I have a daughter guess what Ima call her? I’m gonna name her Philoh
I read about <Black Omen’s> problems too I’m sorry
I had a GM who threw fits over vent too when we were retarded
I know you probably hear this every day but I’m your fanatic
I can barely wait for us to raid in Pandaria; I'm so ecstatic
I got a bank full of Felheart Regalia and server first drops
And some fanfics I posted on 4chan about those molten core screenshots
Anyways, I hope you get this girl, hit me back
Just to chat though
Sincerely yours, your biggest fan, this is Melbo

Dear Sauura, it’s been months without any replies
I’m waiting for the good news
I ain’t mad
I just think it’s %^-*ed up my threads don’t have any views
If you didn't want to talk to me in trial of the crusade
You didn’t have to
But you could have at least signed my Azuresong Mageblade
That’s my favorite epic, yo
Molten Core is already six years old
I keep /inviting you to HoF, two months and you just say no
That’s pretty !@#$ty; we never have a good mage online
I just wanted see the new content like heroic Amber Shaper 25
But I'm not mad though, I just don’t like being /ignored
Remember? When I was in Manarchy? We would pull whenever we got bored
See? I’m just like you in a way, I love gritty MMO's where you have to grind
I love wiping for hours in raid instances and getting ganked like in Ultima Online
I can relate to what you’re doing in this game
So sometimes when I have a bad day, I drift away and I log in
But now I hate these new %^-* raids, they all make me go to sleep
I even got a tattoo on my back of Tempest Keep
Sometimes I just solo Ragnaros and pretend that I’m level 60
It’s like adrenaline the nostalgia is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything we did was great and I respect you because you’re Sauura
Even Kranok gets jealous because I post about you 24 / 7
But he don’t know you like I know you Sauura It’s not the same
He can never understand the love between a warlock and a mage
You gotta whisper me, Ill give you my soulstone just wait and see
Sincerely yours, Melbogathra
PS, come back to WoW and we’ll get married
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100 Pandaren Monk
11865
DEAR MISSUS I'M TOO COOL TO WHISPER MY BIGGEST FAN
This is the last time that you’ll ever see a Sauura thread on 4chan
It’s been 7 years since I subscribed
I'm not gonna be cool,
I know you still wanna be with me at level 90
I typed in your name perfectly on the armory
So this is my flame thread at you, I hope you read it
I’m posting drunk on the realm board, writing about my little ponies
Hey Sauura, I just drank a fifth of cherry brandy, you dare me to make a thread?
Remember? When I summoned people in the lava
In burning steps so they would zone in dead?
And when they zoned in with their dial up
They flailed around and started drowning?
Then you watched em all and didn’t help cuz the players kinda left you frowning?
That’s sort of how this is
Cuz we’ve run this !@#$ into the ground
Now it’s too late,
I’ve played through 3 expansions now
I’m drowsy
All I wanted was a lousy tell or a mail
I hope you know, I told everyone your build is epic fail!
I loved you Sauura, we could have raided together, think about it
You ruined it now
I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it,
And if you play
I hope you grind and get no drops and you scream about it,
I hope your conscious eats at you
You never raid in 5.3!
You see Sauura, (screams), shut up %^-*! I'm trying to type!
Hey Sauura! That’s just Jawbone screaming at his mic
But I didn’t take my time, I just typed in /gdisband
See, I ain't like you cause when I cause drama I do it exactly when I planned
Like we did back in the original 40 mans!
Well, I gotta go, I’m about to make another ironic pony thread now
Oh @#$% I’m perma-banned, how the ^-*! did the GMs find out?

Dear Melbogathra, I meant to mail you sooner but I’ve been busy
I’ve been gearing up do to rated bgs and my first raid since ICC
Look, I’m really flattered you would name your E-daughter after me
And here’s an enchant weapon scroll for that sword you got back in MC
I’m sorry I didn’t see you in slash general or in AQ
Don’t think I did @#$% that on purpose just to troll you
But what’s this ^-*! about soloing Ragnaros at level 82?
You know how old that content is man, come on how @#$%ed up are you?
You got some issues Mel, I think you need some help man
To keep you from ddosing the boards over there at 4chan
And what’s this ^-*! about fan fiction and molten core together?
That kind of @#$% makes me not want to raid with each other
I really think you and your GM need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat him better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope you read this ^-*! today
Before you snap and try to get the insane
I think you’ll be doing just okay if you log out a bit
I’m glad that I inspire you but Melbogathra, why are you so mad?
Try to understand
I’m just trying to play this game
I don’t want you to do some crazy @#$%
The other day I saw some ^-*! on the realm board that made me sick
Some dude was making threads about furries and Molten Core
And he had the server hella mad and it caused this huge flame war
So the GM’s just had him banned but I don’t recall his name though
Come to think about it… his name was… it was Melbo
Damn
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