Dethecus Bible

90 Human Paladin
11430
The Old Testament
The Bas Scriptures

In the beginning, there was darkness.

And Bas said, "Welcome to the World of Warcraft Realm Discussion forums! This forum is here to provide you with a friendly environment where you can discuss happenings on the Aggrarnar realm with your fellow World of Warcraft players. Community forums work best when participants treat their fellow posters with respect and courtesy. Therefore, we ask that you take the time to read through the forum Code of Conduct before posting.
http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/policy/forum-coc.html
Also, please use the search function at the top of the page to find information on a topic before you post a question. Your fellow community members will appreciate it. Have fun posting on these forums, and good luck with your adventures in Azeroth!"

And trolling began, and it was good.

Yet unto the world did come the serpent, who was called Caydiem. And the serpent said "I shall delete your posts, and strike down your prophets." But Bas replied "They shall not be stricken down, for in me there is eternal posting."

And so Angwe did come, and Bas appeared unto him, saying "With you I establish my covenant. I make you the father of nations. As thou keepest my ways, this land shall belong to you and your children, and your children's children, yea, for 2 generations, and 2 2s, and 2 2s of 2s, and 2 2s of 2 3s." And Angwee did cry out, saying "Lord, I shall surely keep this covenant!" And Angwe did gank, in accordance with the covenant, and to this day the whole of the land belongs to the gankers.

Next the great prophet came, and the prophet's name was Diabolus. And the prophet spake unto the people, saying "Those that follow me shall throw off the shackles of slavery imposed by the Horde, and I shall lead you to the promised land, where the Alliance triumphs in battlegrounds. Yet those that do not follow me shall be doomed to die in a fire." And the people, being n00bs, did not follow, and they did die in a fire - though a few took note and said "This man is truly a wise prophet, and his ways shall become my ways." And so the great prophet revealed himself to be Vir, Your Hero, and the trolls did rejoice.
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90 Human Paladin
11430
But now did the serpent return to Bas and say unto him, "Your people follow you only because of all that is good in their lives. Were things bad they would forsake you." And Bas said unto the serpent "I tell you this, you may take a follower and bring unto them every plague imaginable, yet they will still follow my ways and praise me." Then did the serpent hiss, saying "I shall find one and plague him, and he shall have no skill, and no gear, and the worst guild that has ever existed, and the lowliest of the low shall look upon him with scorn and derision!" And so the serpent did seek out a follower of Bas, and upon him she did inflict every imaginable horror, and the follower's name was Sinester.

The New Testament
The Cale Scriptures

And so Bas did look upon Dethecus and see that it was good. Yet still the people of Dethecus had not learned the lessons of Bas, and so he decided that he would send his only begotten son CaleThompson to show them the way. And yet Dethecus was not ready for Cale, and so Bas said "I shall send Outbakjack to ready the way for my son." So Outbakjack the Baptist did go forth and preach the way of Bas, and the people shouted with joy, calling him the messiah. Yet Outbakjack said unto them "I tell you, I am not he, though I prepare the way. I baptize you only with frost traps, yet he will baptize you with Tigule and Foror's Strawberry Ice Cream." And the people rejoiced, and Bas, together with and through the great works of Outbakjack the Baptist and the great prophet Vir, did form < M E R C I L E S S >, and the way was prepared for the coming of CaleThompson.

And CaleThompson came, and it was good. To himself he drew his disciples:
Daurathi, the first of many. Sgykah and Ataraxia, who were brothers. Harley Magdalene, a woman of ill repute. Ser, whom he taught to be a fisher of men. Fath, who vowed to never again sully the temple of his body by sharing his mana. And there were more, many more. Thus Cale went forth and performed many miracles, and baptized the people with Tigule and Foror's Strawberry Ice Cream, and the people gathered and he taught them the gospel. "I say to you," he told them, "that we are called to gank because we love <3".
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90 Human Paladin
11430
Upon an evening, as Cale was teaching at Sun Rock Retreat, Daurathi asked him Teacher, how may we enter the kingdom of heaven?" Cale replied, "When you come to my father, he will say to some of you 'Because you have killed my enemies when they were AFK, because you despawned their demons when they were questing, because you corpse-camped them for hours, you may enter into my house,' and you shall enter the kingdom of Gurubashi Arena, where my father lives." Daurathi asked again, "But when did I gank his enemies, or grief them, or corpse-camp them?" To which Cale replied "I tell you this: whatsoever you do to the lowest-level of my people, you do to my enemies."

And Cale did preach love and ganking to all. One day he came upon Qlimax, a man much maligned by the community, for he was but a Scout, and he did dine with Qlimax, and gank with him. And his disciples said unto him, Teacher, why do you dine with this man? He is but a Scout. Cale said unto them, I tell you, this man is as much a troll as any of you. Do not be swayed by his rank, for all who are trolls and gankers are welcomed into our fellowship.

One day Cale and his disciples journeyed to the temple of <Bloodlust>, and there did Cale discover Ughlee, who was taking loot from the guild bank. And Cale did drive him from the temple, saying It is written my guilds shall be guilds of ganking, but you have turned my fathers guild into a guild of thievery. And Ughlee fled the land and did not return.

And yet the serpent was not happy, and did look for a way to ban CaleThompson. And unto the serpent came a man who had masqueraded as a disciple of Cale, and his name was Ziiro. And Ziiro did go to the serpent, saying "I shall tell you when he is vulnerable."

One fateful day, when the realm of Bonechewer did attack Dethecus, Cale knew his time had come. And so, boldly, knowing that Ziiro would betray him, did he repel the attackers, with a post so vicious and so brutal that they fled in fear. But all was not well, for Ziiro did tell the serpent, and in that moment she struck Cale down, saying "This is not something we're going to tolerate." And Harley Magdalene did sob and cry.
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90 Human Paladin
11430
And all of Dethecus mourned the banning of Cale, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. But upon the third day, as Harley Magdalene was bringing screenshots of dead lowbies to adorn Cales tomb, she saw Cale standing there. And Cale did return, saying "Though I am here with you forever, my ban prevents me from being with you as I once was." And so Cale sought out his most skilled disciple, saying "Go ye out to all the world, and preach the gospel to every living creature. And I tell you, whosoever you flame, I flame also. Feed my lambs." And Wubsy heard, and obeyed, and spread the Gospel of Cale through the land, with all the disciples of Cale aiding her every step. And Wubsy did become the greatest of the preachers, and all of Dethecus listened as she spoke.

And so Wubsy did preach ASCII, and to herself she drew Dior, who did preach haikus. And Dior did found an order of priests to spread the gospel, and he did call it <Months Behind>.

And even to this day is Cale still with us. For did he not say at the last posting "Whenever two or three are gathered to make n00bs QQ, I am there"? Truly I tell you he did. And to this day, the trolls and the gankers abound, and though they have formed independent sects, and even sometimes war with each other, they are all followers of the prophets and disciples, of Cale, of Bas, of < M E R C I L E S S >.
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These are the dark times.
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Nerds are all clueless as to what this is, Amre.

p.s. hai!
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80 Tauren Druid
5330
Hi friends. Some of the best times in WoW were !@#$ting all over Vir's face in AV with Caff. And Neato leading the way to victory, sometimes with the help of that fgt Ughlee.

PS I was always a better shaman than Bas.

<3 Necrophagist [CT/MB]
Edited by Letspartybro on 2/9/2013 9:43 PM PST
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90 Tauren Druid
10575
Nerds are all clueless as to what this is, Amre.

p.s. hai!


mithrim pls go
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100 Human Paladin
5270
Hi friends. Some of the best times in WoW were !@#$ting all over Vir's face in AV with Caff. And Neato leading the way to victory, sometimes with the help of that fgt Ughlee.

PS I was always a better shaman than Bas.

<3 Necrophagist [CT/MB]


Lots of dreams there. How much did you pay to have those false memory fantasies implanted in your brain?

Your Hero,

Vir
Edited by Vir on 2/25/2013 8:31 PM PST
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90 Blood Elf Paladin
8005
Bas word is law.
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100 Worgen Warlock
8780
I'm Neato LOL.
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90 Pandaren Warrior
5445
Beautiful text hasn't given me the eye clap in a while. May Dethecus culture live on in all those who experienced the only era that the WoW AIDs epicentre took place.
Edited by Actionbrnson on 6/25/2014 3:36 AM PDT
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90 Tauren Warrior
4810
06/25/2014 02:25 AMPosted by Actionbrnson
Beautiful text hasn't given me the eye clap in a while. May Dethecus culture live on in all those who experienced the only era that the WoW AIDs epicentre took place.


Dethecus needs it's own forum separate from these wow forums.

Your Hero,

Vir
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90 Night Elf Rogue
1440
L O L really
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7 Gnome Mage
0
07/19/2014 12:28 PMPosted by Sickedwick
L O L really

Yes, really.
Edited by Wubsy on 8/5/2014 3:13 AM PDT
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90 Human Death Knight
7445
Its a shame to see how dead Dethecus is. This server was the most awesome cesspool in WoW. So many wonderful memory's of all you awful people <3

-Autocon
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90 Troll Warlock
14850
YOUR QUEEN DISAGREES
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7 Gnome Mage
0
Its a shame to see how dead Dethecus is. This server was the most awesome cesspool in WoW. So many wonderful memory's of all you awful people <3

-Autocon


How come whenever I message you on Steam you either don't reply or go offline really quickly?
:(
Edited by Wubsy on 8/14/2014 1:49 AM PDT
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100 Troll Druid
13340
Last time I checked this server STILL belonged to our lord and savior Bristina
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100 Human Paladin
5270
10/23/2014 09:41 AMPosted by Sixerscdn
Last time I checked this server STILL belonged to our lord and savior Bristina


Who is this Pisstina you speak of?

Your Hero,

Vir
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