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Greetings, fellow Horde. Salsbury here, the friendly neighborhood Trade Baron of crime and gold. Yes, gold. We make it, we sell it, we buy it! But you must be wondering, asking even, who are we?
Excellent question, Jim. Pulls out a cigar and lights it, smoking heavily. Now, we've been around for just about a year, just under it in fact, and we've been making strides in today's innovative world of crime and politics. They go hand in hand, Jim. Don't look at me like that, you know it's true.
Trade. The cornerstone of many a empire. Easily something we operate on. What specifically? I don't believe in specifics. It's bad for business. Instead, we sell everything. Anything. All of it. And if it doesn't exist, we'll try to make it exist, to sell it to you at double the price.
Crime. The cornerstone of many a empir-er, scratch that. It's useful, not that we're getting caught. We have been run out before, but luckily I's know a guy. Or three. Point is, we're good at what we do. And what we do is whatever we need to do. Or want to do.
Horde is great for business. Now, people may ask, "Salsbury, is the Cartel apart of the Horde?" and I say, "Sure, why not?" and leave it there. In reality, we're loyal to friends and family first, factions when profitable. I tend to dislike the Alliance after some unfortunate incidents, but that doesn't stop us from wheeling and dealing with 'em. In short, we're technically with the Horde. But in the end, the cartel comes first.
Family. The cartel is family. Never go against the Family. They help you, protect you, rescue you, defend you. Brothers and sisters who will see you succeed. But cross the Family, and the Family crosses you. It's rather tedious and messy and it's best to avoid it.
Goals. Our goals, Jim, is to profit. We will make all the cash we can, and find more ways to do so. But the standard methods come from the following: Markets, mercenary work, hit jobs, extortion, rackets, inventing, arms dealing, drug peddling, exotic trade, pleasures, and so forth. We reach across all of Azeroth and extend to the very bowels of Deepholm if we must. We are everywhere.
Well Jim, let's discuss the standards of the guild.
- We are a heavy RP guild, though some days are laid back and quiet. This is because we like to maintain a stress free environment, and promote RP but not at the expense of people's happiness.
- We operate less then savory elements in our RP at times. We act as a crime syndicate, one of the largest in fact, and as such we do things to people that can be.....unkind. It's all dealt with OOCly mind you, and we have a strict requirement of behaviour.
- We expect all members to be kind, fair and understanding OOCly and to ask for permission before engaging in more unsavory rp or fights if needed. We ask all members to understand what the guild asks, and that if they wish to ICly be apart of what the guild is doing, to follow along, and not break the rules to create havoc. If we say don't wander the streets of Silvermoon wearing the tabard ICly, don't do it. OOCly is different however, we don't claim anything on that.
- Create RP! Don't wait for the officer or myself, get engaged, start up stories and work towards bettering the rp for the guild and the community. It's a much more rewarding experience.
Our divisions include 4 main ones: Bruiser, Shadow, Occult and Trade. We have a Research and Development unit as well.
Bruiser Division handles Bruisers, medics and casters dedicated to our well being and protecting the Family.
Shadow Division handles espionage, sabotage and all things sneaky. You don't need to be a rogue or have a stealth mechanic either, as rping out disguises and such is great fun.
Occult Division is our caster rank and file. They delve into ancient tombs and rob the riches, researching Legion devices, Scourge texts and Mogu artifacts to give us any edge, profit or combat otherwise.
Trade Division handles barking out ads, recruitment, markets, inventions, business in all elements.
Well Jim, glad we had this talk. Look forward to talking further....wait, you're not Jim?
*Pulls out a gun and shoots the person*
Man, hate when I'm mistaken.
Any and all issues related to the Cartel is trademarked by the illustrious Trade Baron. Any complaints can and will be addressed by the Trade Baron's twin battle bears, from hence forth named the Bearguard. Any attempts to cheat, lie, steal, rob or pilfer from the cartel can end in either premature termination or employment. All contracts doubly inspected and sealed by ancient magics to prevent you from gaining any form of benefits, and it's best not to delve further into that.
All contacts should be made to the following, but any member works as well:
Edited by Salss on 1/18/2013 8:41 AM PST
While smoking his cigar, notices Kal'tok and gets that gleam in his eye.
New thread smell? Hmm, smells like profit to me. You! *grabs a nearby goblin by the collar* take a memo. We will charge for sniffing new threads. Market it like a drug. All the teenagers will buy it. Go. Make some memes to support this. Give it a catchy adverb, like "threadiffing" or "Sniffles" or something. Don't look at me like that. Also, market the concept of cash as a cologne. Call it "New Money" and sell it by the tons. Water it down of course. Go. Wait. Get me a coffee. No wait. Get me my battle bears. Wait, take some photos. Wait, get me pictures of spiderman *throws a paper at the goblin* How should I know who that is? I don't care, I want results. GET IT DONE.
The Matriarch looked over the written letter and sniffed the paper. She let out a gag and snorted the offending smell from her nose. "Ugh... What is this scent? What a strange perfume."
She shook her head and placed the message on her table and headed down to the main camp fire. The ad flier simply read: Try our new cologne! "Threading"
Yay! You did it, a new thread! Love this bunch! The Shadowhoof are all about trade and that other stuff! You know where to find us.
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