Tank horror stories

100 Blood Elf Paladin
I have another horror story.

I was in a guild group for Heroic Scarlet Halls. I was not tanking as I was playing my arms warrior. So we get in to the instance and the tank was a blood DK. I only heard two words from this tank and that was 'brb' and 'k'. We get to the Blademaster and the tank pulls him up to the top of the stairs and tanks him there. We wiped 3 times to this strategy because everyone, except me, stayed up there. I believe we wiped about 9 times before I got fed up and quit.

The DK was in fully upgraded LFR gear and couldn't figure out a heroic instance boss. That's just not right.
I always tank him there.

You may be a little conceited but hopefully you move out of the spot when he does blades of light.

I tank him there too.
Edited by Plethora on 1/21/2013 1:49 AM PST
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94 Pandaren Warrior
I jump and follow him back up.

Point being the problem wasn't the spot, but rather the people not moving
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90 Blood Elf Paladin
That was what happened. No one, except me, jumped down

I tanked this before this little fiasco. Had like one wipe then nailed it the 2nd time
Edited by Tyrazdormu on 1/24/2013 9:00 AM PST
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84 Worgen Death Knight
Don't dis the shaman tanks. My orc shaman was an awesome tank in Vanilla up to about SM:Cath/RFD.. maybe Zul'Farrak. After that Warriors got plate, so they really started to out tank me. Until then, gearing up with agi/sta mail, a nice sheild, and rockbiter weapon we could tank fine. Also having healing totem was a nice passive damage reduction!

As for a horror story. I don't know, I've had a lot of bad experiences tanking through the years, but I prefer not to try and hold on to them, and just move on after them. I think though maybe I could consider all of BC a tanking horror story. It's pretty messed up, when you run guildies through a raid (kara), to gear therm up for heroics... Ugh... just remembering those horrible long heroics, with as much anti-fun mechanics as they could squeeze in. Having to try and find the "right" dps for the dungeon, so you could CC things.
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90 Draenei Paladin
01/21/2013 12:51 AMPosted by Gruklaar
Every time I enter a dungeon on any toon that isn't spec'd as a tank IS my tank horror story.



I do miss going in instances as DPS and having tanks !@#$% and go "If you think tanking is so easy why don't you do it" then respecing and tanking the whole instance.

Now 5 mans are so easy i could tank it in full cloth.

I should try tanking in full T6 again with thunderfury i bet i could do it.
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90 Tauren Druid
Back at the start of cata I had a heal set on my druid. Since it was only a week or 2 after the launch of the expack there were a ton of people trying to cheat the ilev check to get into heroics. I had this one pally tank that was geared in more cloth and leather items than actual plate. Here is the best part, we were doing heroic Grimbatol. We made it all the way to the first boss with him all thanks to the heavy CC we had of a rogue/mage/hunter and my hibernate for dragonkin but this tank cant tank when he was geared with wet tissue paper and was getting killed in a single hit on the boss. We had to kick him since extra heavy CC and decent dps was just not able to carry him. Sadly the replacement tank after him caused far more wipes than the first tank since he got mad at us using CC and broke them just before charging to the next pull so we can AOE more. We had to remind him we were not all in t10 gears doing LK heroics.

My second fun story was when I was tanking ZG for a full clear. This was the second day after it was re-released for cata. I knew the instance well already so it was not an issue. I joined an in progress run and found we were just at the 3rd trash pull and no bosses down yet and warning bells came on when I saw all 3 dps from the same guild/server. The healer was just barly high enough ilev to get in and it was clear he was not a hardcore player. The 3 dps, pally/mage/boomkin were doing all the pulling for me despite me "trying" to allow the healer to mana up. The healer did try and save them at the start but that caused a couple of wipes so I decided to have fun with this group. I whispered the healer and told him that if the dps pulls turn around and run away. Avoid getting himself in combat and I did the same. The 3 dps died and the healer proceeded to get mana as they ran back in. We started again so I pulled the first back after the big guy at the top of the hill that rolls the boulders down and as soon as I pull the mage blinks ahead and pulls the next 2 pulls and runs back. I say WTF and they reply that this instance should only take 10-15 minutes to fully clear and we suck. After running up and abusing the cauldrons we get half of them down before we all wipe. They were yelling at me and the healer to just leave group so now I know they have CD do their vote kick and cant kick us. when we started I took every pull and pulled it FAR back and deliberately kept threat low enough the dps would pull it and die. Me and the healer basically 2 manned the rest of the instance trying to kill the dps every chance we got. The healer and I died 2-3 times a piece and the dps had like 10 times the deaths a piece. The run took much longer than normal but we were having too much fun with the kill the dps game we were playing lol.
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90 Human Priest
Back at the start of a Cata my fiancee was kicked from a group because he had the nerve to mark something with a skull before a pull. He always played a Warrior and was a tank to be reckoned with. He didn't want to tank anymore 5 mans but I would have none of that.

So I went with him as Ret. Oh there were so many times when it was just him and me left because everyone stood in fire. I'd just heal us and pop some CD's and we'd get it done.

The best part is that we messed around and I pulled the bosses then bubbled a few seconds in to give it back to him. Good times, good times.

Not really a horror story but I bet there's a few mouthy groups out there that have horror stories about my tank. If I was geared and they actually managed to piss me off, you got the 5 man from hell.

You want faster? Oh I'll give you faster. I'll give you some much speed you'll cry in a corner afterwards...

I think I've finally developed a mean streak.
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90 Pandaren Warrior
Worst tanking experience was yesterday. The healer, a druid, decided to heal and tank. I am absolutely flabbergasted with whole experience. Folks wonder why no one wants to tank and there are people to chicken !@#$ to spec tank and shoulder the responsibility of the role and would rather pull mobs and make life miserable for the tank. I totally enjoy tanking with the right group but some people are just horrible. And is it just me or Pandas the slowest moving class? I'm always getting complaints about dragging %^-. I defiantly feel like the fat kid running after some cake. Thanks for listening to the QQing.
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41 Orc Warrior
Not really a horror story, more of a /facepalm story.

Doing Slave Pens last night, things seemed to be going ok. We got to just before the Bogstrok boss, and the mage starts saying: STOP. DUDE, STOP FOR A SEC. WAIT etc.

Of course, I stop, thinking he wants a bio or something, but he doesnt say anything more. Looking at him, I also notice he's moving around, so he's clearly at his keyboard.

I ask Rdy? and the healer and another dps say yes, so we get into it. Boss down no trouble.

So, we keep clearing the packs to the final boss, and this guy starts really spamming chat. "Im not getting heals!" etc. I look at his health, he's on 85-90%, doesnt have the boss debuff which needs healing to full, so I just continue on. I'm getting full heals, and between myself as tank and the other 2 dps we're doing just under 90% of total damage.

Finally, 3 packs away from the last boss and finishing the instance, and just as I'd pulled the first of 2 bogstrok packs, a Vote Kick comes up, for the healer, with a reason of 'eeeeeeeeee'.

Of course, I choose No for the kick, however it goes through and now we're healer-less and I've got 6 bogstrok on me. Needless to say, we die.

I say something to the effect of: What the hell do you think you're doing?? and he responds with the classic line:

"What else could I do?"

I didnt point out that if he had done absolutely nothing the entire instance, he would have made more of a positive contribution, and that we would have actually finished the instance within minutes.
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90 Draenei Paladin
I do miss going in instances as DPS and having tanks !@#$% and go "If you think tanking is so easy why don't you do it" then respecing and tanking the whole instance.

Hmmm... that's always satisfying.
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90 Pandaren Monk
I have a story that's not really a horror story but kinda funny.

I ran AN (back in wrath) with my guild on my shaman mainspec at the time was resto, and the guilds enhancement shaman was with me in the group as well, so we all queue but me and the enhancement shaman queue DPS/healer (i was already in resto spec and he was already in dps spec), the queue system put us in the instance as opposing roles, so he was flagged healer and i was flagged dps, we just didn't bother respecing i just healed and he dpsed.. it was kinda silly though the the LFG system did that lol
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100 Orc Death Knight
Back in Wrath I was leveling a pally and was determined to get out of my comfort zone and start tanking after a lifetime of dps. I hyperventilated for a while hovering over the LFD button with tank selected as my role, and i ended up in UK (pretty much the only thing I could get into) and told the group it was my first time tanking, yadda yadda. Everything was going fine until we got into the room with all the dragons and a DK proceeded to pull every single pack in the place.

At first i have no idea what's going on, and when I figure it out I try to round everything up thinking there's some strategy, but the whole group dies in a miserable fiery ball. Everyone chimes in with a WTF to which the DK says "relax...it's just a game" and drops group.

We did finish up the instance with a new dps no problems, and as much as it was a troll move it did take some of the !@#$%^-*!-pucker out of tanking for me from then on...so i guess i have this nameless DK to thank for it?
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90 Pandaren Monk
This one made me go "huh?"

I queue for my daily random and get Scarlet Monastery, Graveyard. Our group wanted to skip the pulls at the start, so cool, we carefully make our way to the first boss pulling nothing.

Well, the warlock in the group was full out geared in all heroic raid gear. I was about to pull the boss, but noticed that the DK had just mounted up and was beginning to pull every single group of mobs in the whole graveyard. The healer for some odd reason dropped the DK a heal, so they all headed to the healer, who I decided to save.

Meanwhile, the warlock pulled the boss.... I intentionally let him have the boss, not out of spite, but because being heroic raid geared, I knew he knew how to stay alive (kiting, etc...) and the healer needed saving more than the lock.

Amazingly, with all those mobs and replacing jab with spinning crane kick.... Gift of the ox procs gave me crazy self healing and we survived with the healer never dropping below 75% mana. I picked up the boss when it seemed safe to do so (the lock had amazingly soloed him to about 50%).

Well, the DK simply said how all Panda Monks are small children and rage quit. The lock caps lock typed about me being slow to pick up the boss, "did you buy your account?" and rage quit. The rest of the run went very smooth.
Edited by Suntok on 2/2/2013 2:21 AM PST
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88 Human Death Knight
Ok, kinda got a tanking story. Tanking being in inverted commas.

I was on my 85 Mage on Horde in that dungeon in the sky back in Cata (cannot for the life of me remember the name). Anyway, we got to the final boss but half way through our tank and 2 dps' died, that left me and a priest. Everyone was ready to quit but I said "Guys, chill the !@#$ out, I got this".

%^-*ing legends were made on that day. Me and the healer spent a solid 10 minutes chipping away at that boss' health before he fell over dead. Literally everyone typed "Holy !@#$" at the same god damn time. By far the most epic moment in my Mage's career.
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77 Human Warrior
This one time in Cataclysm I entered a dungeon, I had full 264, my 277 ring, two pieces of heroic items from ICC and was fully gemmed and chanted. I could still chain pull without taking damage in wrath heroics.... then my guild master said "hey lets do one of the new dungeons". Then I with my epicly epic gear said "hey I'll tank those dungeons no problem" then we enter and buff up. We had full flask and we had druid buffs, priest buffs, and paladin buffs so I finish my feast to get the finally buff and charged in and needless to say they K.O. us within seconds. After that day I only PvPed on my paladin and my guild disbanded because of Cataclysms stupid dungeons and thus meaning I havn't tanked since. Thank you bliztards.
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90 Worgen Druid
I got kicked from LFR because apparently bear tanks don't use crit or agility, and I should have gemmed and reforged for dodge. They decided I was doing it wrong because the other tank was taking less damage. Because he wasn't actually tanking any mobs. /sob

My guildie got kicked not long after for calling them morons. :(
Edited by Ptea on 2/4/2013 8:05 PM PST
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90 Pandaren Monk
I have another tanking horror story.

I went into the Tanking forum, and someone else asked "What is the best tanking class"

I went screaming from the room with my paws over my eyes.
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90 Human Paladin
I got kicked from LFR because apparently bear tanks don't use crit or agility, and I should have gemmed and reforged for dodge. They decided I was doing it wrong because the other tank was taking less damage. Because he wasn't actually tanking any mobs. /sob

My guildie got kicked not long after for calling them morons. :(

And people wonder why decent tanks can't stand doing Looking for Retards...
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90 Night Elf Warrior
The only one that really sticks in my mind is when I joined a group doing Scarlet Monestary on my prot pally back in vanilla. The guy putting the group together said they needed a tank, so I volunteered and he ignored me, and spent something like another hour and a half looking for a tank with me periodically saying "I can tank, I'm prot spec you know" and him still ignoring me. Eventually he finds a tank, but has filled up the group, and didn't find a healer. So he asks me to heal...


I didn't once touch holy light and pretty much was oom spamming flash of light after every pull, and at some point one of the DPS says "You're better than any real healer I've ever grouped with!" We got through the instance fine, not so much a horror story but the indignity of it all still sticks in my craw a little bit :p
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