<IOOM> - Into Darkness

100 Gnome Warlock
12630
...but only because I'm too short to replace the lightbulbs in the guild clubhouse.

Greetings, Runetotem. As the once-venerated, since-deposed President of Runetotem, I send you mustache-twirling greetings from exile.

Looking out from my top secret fortress atop Oomew's refrigerator, I see what's become of the Runetotem community and weep giant, salty tears of schadenfreude. Ask yourself: are *you* better off than you were four years ago? Under my regime, there was toilet paper on every spindle. Bacon in every sandwich. Who stood between you all and all this CRZ nonsense? That's right - I did. Now, you are being asked to share your formerly-glorious realm with a 12-year old mage name LAzzORz from Tichondrius who keeps whispering you to ask if you are a "real girl".

<Is Out Of Mana>, one of Runetotem's longest guilds, has always prided itself on bringing character to the community, much in the way a giant, hairy mole can bring character to the face or flank of an otherwise ordinary individual. We've been the raisin on your toast, the accidental F# in your lullabye, the awapuhi fragrance in your shampoo, for as long as most of you can remember. Isn't it time you gave something back?

We are looking to press a number of new adventurers into service. The number is five, and five is the number. Our initiation process can be ... somewhat uncomfortable, and we prefer to take in only a few at a time so that the whimpering will have tapered off before we draw more from the bourgeois.

What you can expect:

1) A dark, oppressive environment wherein other guildmates are afraid to speak to you for fear of "the toilet snake";

2) Irregular raid times, attendance, and progress;

3) Weekly tributes of crafted platform shoes and hair tonics; and

4) Darth Vader impersonation contests.

That is all. I expect to see your applications on my freezer door by morning: ioom.enjin.com
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90 Tauren Druid
6285
<Is Out Of Mana>, one of Runetotem's longest guilds,,,


Like men, some guilds are longer than others.
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93 Troll Shaman
7625
9/10

Excellent thread. Only 2 things prevent me from a faction change and application to your guild.

1. I hate gnomes
2. I really hate gnomes

For those two reasons I am bound to the horde, otherwise I would sell you my first born to be part of the clusterf#k of monkeys you call a guild.

Bump for a great guild
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90 Dwarf Paladin
7710
We are prepared to sacrifice all Gnomes in the guild if that indeed is preventing people from joining us. We only allow them in the guild because of a misplaced sympathy for humanoid kicking instruments.
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100 Human Priest
12705
01/29/2013 06:39 PMPosted by Lethumper
for humanoid kicking instruments.


Feet?
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87 Pandaren Rogue
5915
We are now opening recruiting for the pvp sub-guild of Is Out of Mana called "Is Out of Honor". I would have called it "Is Out of Conquest" but the only way I get Conquest points is by buying them out of the back of a van in "that one alley" in Org. You know the one I mean.

In any case, come one, come all. I have a fantastic treat for you. Instead of simply taking in anyone that fits our strict notion of proper conduct AND wants to brutally murder people in a video game, we are adding yet another layer of testing! My good friend and former bowling partner Quorac will be helping us out by "interviewing" applicants in the mage tower of Stormwind. Anyone interested should show up without their armor on (no sense in showing off) and weapons in their bags (there's very fragile things on table, can't have you bumping into them). Please make sure you are flagged for PVP, the color green makes Quorac grumpy and irritable. Mr. Q will provide me with the results of the interviews. We'll ring you if a second, third or tenth interview is needed.

Love and fuzzy hugs,

Oomoo

P.S. /cast scratchkittybehindtheear
P.P.S. I started work at 8:00am today and just finished, and the first thing I did was post this for the community of Runetotem to enjoy. Because I love you guys. What's that pink giraffe doing drinking a latte on a hot air balloon in my sink?
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90 Blood Elf Paladin
8890
01/29/2013 06:39 PMPosted by Lethumper
We are prepared to sacrifice all Gnomes in the guild if that indeed is preventing people from joining us. We only allow them in the guild because of a misplaced sympathy for humanoid kicking instruments.


Oh, really? This could be just the encouragement needed to level my mage :P

01/29/2013 11:39 PMPosted by Decorative
P.P.S. I started work at 8:00am today and just finished, and the first thing I did was post this for the community of Runetotem to enjoy. Because I love you guys. What's that pink giraffe doing drinking a latte on a hot air balloon in my sink?


Haha, you're a nutter. In a good way! <3
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100 Human Priest
12705
I'm down with the gnome sacrifice thing. Too many years of talking to myself in recruitment threads.
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93 Troll Shaman
7625
Thats motivating. No gnomes. Tell me, do you offer kosher facilities? That would mean that I only take Facon and not bacon.
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90 Dwarf Paladin
7710
All our facilities meet the dietary needs of all faiths. Including I am proud to say our recently opened Orthodox Zoroastrian kitchens.

If you haven't tired the Pastafarian all-you-can-eat buffet at lunch time in our world headquarters you just haven't lived.
Edited by Lethumper on 2/4/2013 6:23 PM PST
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90 Blood Elf Paladin
8890
Don't let the crazy gnome or the facon scare you off, folks! http://ioom.enjin.com/recruitment. Do it. Do it now...
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93 Troll Shaman
7625
Personally, I have great respect for any group that acknowledges Orthodox Zoroastrians. Its those pesky reform Zoroastrians that are gumming up the works.

Disclaimer: Any likeness to any persons living or dead in Iran (formerly) or Zanzibar or any other Zoroastrian nation is completely coincidental.
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86 Human Warlock
4435
Three questions:

#1. Will you take me now so that you can have me later? I just re-upped my subscription and would like to have a home in your guild once I hit 90.

#B. Is raid attendance mandatory? I don't currently know how my schedule will be unfolding, and although I would love to raid, I can only be honest in saying I might not be able to make it all the time.

#Threeve. If I am accepted, would you guys prefer I level my warlock or paladin first? I might be jumping the gun with this question, but if anyone has any insight into what is really lacking in terms of class at the raiding level, I'd love to know.
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93 Troll Shaman
7625
I would like to take this one Flam, if I may.

Dear Doombuggy,

Since I am a horde player and have absolutely no working knowledge of how this guild works I will do my best to help you out. The answer to your questions are as follows:

#1. It's a chartreuse sort of coloring and they use it on all their curtains
#B. This particular brand of imitation bacon is approved by the Orthodox Union (kosher foodies)
#Threeve - When air lifting a manatee, yes it is important to monitor it's blood pressure as manatees are indeed afraid of heights.

I hope this information has been helpful and good luck on all your future endeavors.
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87 Pandaren Rogue
5915
While I cannot possibly top Raz's answer, I shall offer one that is lacking mostly in flavor and calories.

#1: IOOM cares not for levels. They are trifle things bereft of ring, dull spots upon an otherwise shiny landscape. In other words, you could be level 1 for all we care. We recruit people, not their characters. In short, apply.

#2: Here's the rules on raid attendance. If you sign up, please go. If you can't go because something comes up, try to tell someone if you can. But if you can't, that's cool too, sometimes life sneaks up on you. Basically it is like a party you're going to, and bringing the dip. We can probably go get some dip from Safeway if you don't show up, but we're prefer your dip. And if you keep saying you're gonna be bringing the dip and don't, then we will beat you with llamas.

#3: Jumping the gun, but the short answer is probably "run who you like best". If you just adore the living crap out of throwing fire at people and making small demons run to their death for your amusement, bring your Paladin. Erm, wait, that's what Paladins do right? I slept through that lecture.

In short, go to our website, read through stuff, apply. Be honest with us and we'll be honest with you. Just watch out for Flam. One night I go out drinking, ONE NIGHT. Boom... imp tattoo on my buttcheek. He claims innocence but...
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86 Human Warlock
4435
Thank you both for the answers. As soon as I'm done air-lifting this manatee (with the proper medical equipment, of course) I will apply to the guild. Hope to see you guys soon!
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90 Dwarf Shaman
14460
02/12/2013 08:41 AMPosted by Decorative
Just watch out for Flam. One night I go out drinking, ONE NIGHT. Boom... imp tattoo on my buttcheek. He claims innocence but...


Ya that was totally Flam >.> ya lets go with that <.<
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90 Pandaren Shaman
5915
SHANKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! </kirk>
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100 Human Priest
12705
First of all:

HAHAHAHA! /gasp

Thank you so much for the laugh, guys! 'Twas a hard day at work and it did my spirit a world of good. :)

Second: Welcome to IOOM, Doombuggy!
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86 Human Warlock
4435
Thanks again!
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