Hi! I'm Velgarr!

96 Undead Warlock
11240
Greetings and Salutations fellow Maelstromites! I am known as many things, but to most of you, I am King Velgarr the Just™ of Stormwind, the Robed Wanderer, Lord of Shadows and All Things Shadow Related, the Good Reverend and Doctor, and Spinner of Epic Tales.

Maelstrom has been my home since the server launched in the latter half of 2005. I've been plying my various trades since then. Minstrel, Storyteller, Wizard-for-Hire, Fear Engine, Covert Espionage Operative, Spymaster, Tactician. I've worn many hats over the course of my career! I've been a (valuable) member of the Alliance and the Horde at various times.

I've come here today to share my advice with everyone. Post a single question in your post, and I will Velgarr you up an answer*! This can be any sort of question you want--game-related, life advice, baffling quandary--it all makes no difference to me!

The rules are simple, and they are listed as such:

1) One question per post.
2) Velgarr reserves the right to ignore your dumb !@#.
3) No QQ about world pvp. That's what the other threads are for!

THE DOCTOR IS IN! :D

*Disclaimer--The player behind Velgarr is not accountable for you actually taking any advice he gives. This thread is meant for entertainment only. Do not use Velgarr in place of a doctor for actual medical advice.
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90 Goblin Hunter
10060
Dear Dr Velgarr

Do you think Tool will ever make another CD? Cause it seem that Maynard is too foucsed on APC and Puscifer.
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90 Blood Elf Rogue
5925
Do you feel that society, in general, has become dumbed down? Explain.
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
Globbersnot--In my experience, Tool making a new album would be a very bad thing. In 90 out of 100 cases, if you call yourself a fan of Tool, you are one.

Mirana--I'll answer this question simply. Society has degraded to the point of pandering to the lowest common denominator. This will probably continue to be the case unless people SERIOUSLY start considering Eugenics as a valid option. If that was already the case, though, we'd not have most of our server's population.
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80 Goblin Mage
4965
HI VELGARR
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
GOOD EVENING JOHN Q. HAMMOND, BILLIONAIRE PLAYGOBLIN.
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93 Blood Elf Paladin
8070
Hail Velgarr! How mow much time should I spend playing WoW versus time spent doing homework? hahaha
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
Slayer Bombniscient--You should spend two hours playing WoW per one hour doing your homework.
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90 Pandaren Shaman
13555
Velgarr,

Whatever happened to that hottie Solarea you used to roll with?
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
Surprises--Well, that's a bit of a tale (sorta). The tl;dr version of it is that she no longer plays WoW because she's playing LoL all the time.
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90 Tauren Paladin
5580
This thread bears a striking resemblance to the old Q & A Thread I had back a few years ago.

Also: HAI VELGARRRRRRR!!
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90 Undead Priest
Woe
6755
Dear Velgarr,

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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90 Night Elf Priest
8715
Does it upset you that small flame sacs dont drop at the same rate as mystery meat when trying to make dragon breath chili in Lethlor ravine?
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
Habby--IMMA GET CHU.

Unsanctified--No. 90% of the time, the extra personalities are just made up and the person is doing it for attention. The other 10% of the kind, it's just someone messed up in the head attempting suicide just like any other case.

Variante--It does not accept me. I'm level 90. Why the hell would I care about making Dragonbreath Chili?
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90 Orc Warrior
13450
Velgarr, Frak want know why some undead smell bad, and others smell not bad. Frak think Velgarr smell not bad. Frak not that kind of Orc though.
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
Frak--Some undead practice poor hygiene. Being underground for any amount of time in the humidity can take its toll on the body. Oftentimes, newly created undead have not realized they've lost their sense of smell.

More intelligent undead bathe often and note the reactions of others to know when it's time to freshen up.
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100 Human Paladin
13905
My wife wants me to leave maelstrom and go to her RP sever and play with her, but I hate RP. Should I still listen to her and switch?
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90 Goblin Hunter
10060
01/29/2013 12:10 AMPosted by Phabbio
My wife wants me to leave maelstrom and go to her RP sever and play with her, but I hate RP. Should I still listen to her and switch?


Listening to a wife is an option?
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90 Night Elf Priest
8715
Frak--Some undead practice poor hygiene. Being underground for any amount of time in the humidity can take its toll on the body. Oftentimes, newly created undead have not realized they've lost their sense of smell.

More intelligent undead bathe often and note the reactions of others to know when it's time to freshen up.


Well there goes my Dragon Breath Chili theory...

So Velgarr how do you keep your bad-smell rating at only 2 dead toads and a mothball?
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96 Undead Warlock
11240
Phabbio--RP is for losers and people who would rather stand in a circle and chat rather than farm PVP gear.

Globbersnot--Listening to the wife is an option if there is nookie on the line.

Variante--Daily showers and Eu de Manne cologne.
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