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Here is a little disclaimer, you know, because I feel my little rant for this movie could turn ugly. First off, I will (mostly) talk about this movie in a sequence that is linear to the time line, rather than the order of events that they were portrayed in, or else we all really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. Secondly, I disagree with the lifestyle choices of several of the characters, so I will refrain from using the usual colorful language I regularly use in /horde when I rage.
This movie is 3 hours long, had a 6 minute long movie trailer, and received a 10 minute long standing ovation at the Toronto International Film Festival. The only thing that wasn’t long about his movie was its own attention span. It seemed like the story was being told to me by a 13 year old with ADHD who just downed a couple of BFC Monsters. Just as I was getting settled into one story, I was getting ripped out and shoved into the next. It was as if I was watching 6 Tom Hanks movies. At the same time. Then, they tried to convince me that the inhabitants of Neo Seoul were Asians. Half of the actor’s make-up was poorly done, especially Agent Smith’s (“Herro, Mr. Anderson, wercome back!). Think of Black Face or whatever the name of that racist cartoon is, but for Asians. There is also that stupid hillbilly language. I’ll get to that later. I was also bugged at the fact that despite that Tom Hanks played 6 different people; they were all still Tom Hanks. Also, that little comet birthmark didn’t make any sense, since none of these people had anything in common, and they couldn’t possibly be reincarnations of one another because two of them had overlapping life times.
The Pacific Journal of Adam Ewing
So this yuppie lawyer travels to some Pacific island to get a contract for…something. I did find the scene amusing where him and the reverend are making fun of Mubaba (I forgot his name) while discussing equal God given rights. Janet steps in and calls them out on their hypocrisy, and they all just kind of stare during this awkward silence when they realize that the dining room isn’t in the same part of the house as the kitchen. So Adam catches a parasite (or a cold, who knows), and Tom Hanks wants to steal his lucky charms. Our dear sweet Adam discovers a runaway slave and sells him out after only sneaking food for him after 1 meal. Later, when Adam is at his sickest, Tom Hanks is about to do the dirty, only to be thwarted by the self-freed slave. They all make it to San Francisco where Adam is reunited with his Asian wife. I think she was Asian. She had slanty eyes and an accent like an Asian, but she had red frizzy hair, green eyes, and freckles. Her dad was also Agent Smith.
Letters From Zedelghen
This story I found forced and mostly uninteresting because I guess that’s because the rainbow huggers weren’t allowed to love. Like it was forbidden. Like that would make me yearn for them to be together that much more. Didn’t work for me in The Little Mermaid, Titanic, or Delgo, didn’t work for me here. This story is also the shortest and mostly uneventful. Despite the amazing soundtrack for this movie, his “Cloud Atlas Sextet” was just plain awful and boring. Halle Berry also didn’t look like a Jew. More like a black chick with sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Shiiit, like some sort of Amazon. I did like the ending because his little tidbit about suicide was interesting and gave me a fresh perspective on killing yourself because you shot an old guy and missed.
Half-Lives: The First Luisa Rey Mystery
Despite the title of this part of the story, Gordon Freeman and Barney Calhoun were NOT in it. I think there was a G-Man though. So now we’re going from some sort of maritime drama into a bromance into some sort of mystery movie. This story is rather simple and the mystery about the whole nuclear thingy is explained halfway through. But that means we get to see Agent Smith do what he does best! Chase people and shoot at them! He follows the main characters into some sort of underground laundromat bakery sweatshop power plant clothes factory where he meets his end to a Polynesian. I say that because it was really an Asian actress pretending to be a Mexican, so I picked the closes thing in between.
The Ghastly Ordeal of Timothy Cavendish
Onto the comedy portion of this movie. I like this one. It was fun. The Soylant Green comment was a foreshadowing though.
An Orison of Somni 451
This story deserved its own feature film. It was too cool and really goddam interesting. That’s why I was so pissed at how they changed the scenes so quickly. That, and you only got to see like 5 seconds total of Neo Seoul. I already talked about the make-up, so no need to talk about it anymore. I did kinda feel sick when I found out that Replicants were recycled as food. With that being said, how Seer-Ri OD on a protein shake? That’s gross. I was also sad that Somni was killed. I liked her jab at the Archavist before she was sent away though.
Sloosha’s Crossin’ an’ Er’rythin’ After
‘N now mah clonkin’ dun been bunkered by the Valley Folk and their way of yammerin’. So there be no tales er bumpkin’ yarns of the Old Un’s pliggity plight, why the Big O’ Green been got the Sickyflu, or why summa fancy non-Valley Folk got the Old Un’s space boats, er where Ol’ Georgie cummin’ frum, why the Valley Folk be yearnin’ and hankerin’ fer some din-din so muchly so, or how’s by the Kona ain’t findin’ the Valley Folk sooner than not later. Halle Berry tookum Tom Hanks uppa to Devil’s Roost or whatevs to send a prayer to the stars. Nay fore she tell him the true true about Lady Somni, completely ruggin’ his faith. Tom Hankin’ lost his fam-fam anyhows. Now they all gibberin’ jammies to the chillins on Barsoom.
*stands and applauds for 10 minutes*
Only because it got me a little teary after watching on a very bad day (set of days).
Even on a good day I would have still enjoyed it, I like stories within stories. This movie connected them in a interesting way. I couldn't even tell what genre the movie was. It was long, but I suppose it needed to be.
It sure had much more depth to it than Total Recall, which I watched last night. (it was still enjoyable, as was Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter).
I didn't even realize the Wachowski brothers did this.
Decent link: http://www.salon.com/2012/10/29/everything_you_need_to_know_about_cloud_atlas/
What’s with the birthmark that appears on so many of the characters?
What’s with the different genres in this movie?
How often is the “Cloud Atlas Sextet” reinterpreted in the movie?
Yous a be seekin da tru tru?
Edited by Zg on 2/9/2013 11:58 AM PST
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