This movie is 3 hours long, had a 6 minute long movie trailer, and received a 10 minute long standing ovation at the Toronto International Film Festival. The only thing that wasn’t long about his movie was its own attention span. It seemed like the story was being told to me by a 13 year old with ADHD who just downed a couple of BFC Monsters. Just as I was getting settled into one story, I was getting ripped out and shoved into the next. It was as if I was watching 6 Tom Hanks movies. At the same time. Then, they tried to convince me that the inhabitants of Neo Seoul were Asians. Half of the actor’s make-up was poorly done, especially Agent Smith’s (“Herro, Mr. Anderson, wercome back!). Think of Black Face or whatever the name of that racist cartoon is, but for Asians. There is also that stupid hillbilly language. I’ll get to that later. I was also bugged at the fact that despite that Tom Hanks played 6 different people; they were all still Tom Hanks. Also, that little comet birthmark didn’t make any sense, since none of these people had anything in common, and they couldn’t possibly be reincarnations of one another because two of them had overlapping life times.
The Pacific Journal of Adam Ewing
So this yuppie lawyer travels to some Pacific island to get a contract for…something. I did find the scene amusing where him and the reverend are making fun of Mubaba (I forgot his name) while discussing equal God given rights. Janet steps in and calls them out on their hypocrisy, and they all just kind of stare during this awkward silence when they realize that the dining room isn’t in the same part of the house as the kitchen. So Adam catches a parasite (or a cold, who knows), and Tom Hanks wants to steal his lucky charms. Our dear sweet Adam discovers a runaway slave and sells him out after only sneaking food for him after 1 meal. Later, when Adam is at his sickest, Tom Hanks is about to do the dirty, only to be thwarted by the self-freed slave. They all make it to San Francisco where Adam is reunited with his Asian wife. I think she was Asian. She had slanty eyes and an accent like an Asian, but she had red frizzy hair, green eyes, and freckles. Her dad was also Agent Smith.
Letters From Zedelghen
This story I found forced and mostly uninteresting because I guess that’s because the rainbow huggers weren’t allowed to love. Like it was forbidden. Like that would make me yearn for them to be together that much more. Didn’t work for me in The Little Mermaid, Titanic, or Delgo, didn’t work for me here. This story is also the shortest and mostly uneventful. Despite the amazing soundtrack for this movie, his “Cloud Atlas Sextet” was just plain awful and boring. Halle Berry also didn’t look like a Jew. More like a black chick with sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Shiiit, like some sort of Amazon. I did like the ending because his little tidbit about suicide was interesting and gave me a fresh perspective on killing yourself because you shot an old guy and missed.