<SARC> is recruiting old farts

100 Tauren Shaman
Welcome to Shady Acres Raiding Community! I'm your guild master, Brum, and it's my pleasure to welcome you to our exclusive assisted-leveling guild. Here you'll rub up against the likes of vanilla-era High Warlords, Magic Seekers from Wrath of the Lich King, and former raid leaders whose spirits were broken by three months of M'uru wipes.

At SARC, our goal is to provide camaraderie for casual, mature players who enjoy the company of other people with 500 days /played. Popular activities include getting zero drops in LFR runs, spawning the Ice Lord in Alterac Valley, and complaining about how terrible the game is these days.

Our officers are a tight-knit group of violently-angry shutins who have played together since Beta. While our hatred for each other knows no bounds, we are glued together by a byzantine network of mutually-destructive implicit threats and DKP minuses. So you can rest assured that, when you log in, SARC will be there.

How you'll know if SARC is right for you:

You experience trouble getting your item level up.
You're wondering when the first epic will show up in the mailbox now that you've level capped.
You've woken in a cold sweat attempting to defend Tarren Mill from 43 night elf rogues.
You're riding around Felwood looking for Night Dragon's Breath and can't remember anything about the last six and a half hours.
You're recasting Blessing of Kings every five minutes.
You're not sure if it really is just a setback.
You turn the volume to max in Un'goro Crater.
You've laughed at a Chuck Norris joke any point within the last 7 years.
Scrolling through your feats of strength elicits melancholy sighs.
You display excessive apathy towards arguements in trade chat.
The money you've spent on transfers and name changes could provide a Sudanese village with food and clothing for several months.

SARC Testimonials

"Raiding used to be my favorite thing in the world... of warcraft. The thrill of a top 100 US kill gave me goosebumps. I wasn't always the best dps. Or the most situationally aware. Or the most punctual. Or hygenic. But I knew I could do one thing better than anyone in the raid, and that was drop healthstones.

First trash pack in the zone? Soulwell down 30 yards in front of it. Battle rezzing a tank? Dropped a soulwell beforehand so he could refill before getting back into the fight. 1% wipe? No time to cry. Time to make healthstones.

Sure it might have been excessive, but it was never out of control. Until one fateful day that I'll never forget. I'd just dropped a soulwell after the tank had been one shot on the pull. Sure, it wasn't likely that anyone had used their healthstone during the 10 seconds that we were in combat, but I wasn't willing to take a chance. When I looked down to click on the well, something was strange. There were two wells, but I had only made one. I shrugged it off as no big deal and didn't spend much time thinking about where that second well had come from.

That was only the beginning though. I kept noticing extra soulwells showing up on the ground next to mine. The other warlocks swore they weren't making them - that it was my job to drop wells. Sometimes the extra wells would show up in the middle of a fight. Eventually one extra well became two, which became three and so on, until, as Bigwigs played the victory music on Spine of Deathwing one night, I noticed that the entire area where his first plate had rested was covered in soulwells. When I looked at Recount I knew they were mine.

It wasn't long before my guild let me go. They said they couldn't take care of my soulwell-control issues. I felt lost. I tried dropping soulwells near the bank in Orgrimmar, for questers and people who accidentally dismounted while showing off their Sandstone Drakes. But it was no good unless I invited them to a party. Eventually my loneliness drove me to spam invites in the hopes that someone - anyone - would enjoy a lovingly-summoned healthstone. As you might expect, that didn't work very well and it got to the point where the entire server had me on ignore. I was guildless, hopeless, and having serious thoughts about uninstalling.

They say it's always darkest before the dawn, and that was when I heard about Shady Acres. Now I don't have to worry about soulwell incontinence. There are always plenty of ex-raiders in need of nourishment. And if it's a slow day, the new recruits are happy to join my party and click on a few wells. The guild even found me a digital therapist to help with finger control, so I'm not dumping wells all over the place anymore! SARC is the best guild that ever happened to this old warlock."
- Anonymous of Blackhand

"I hate Brum. So much."
- Harbinger of Blackhand

"Not as much as I hate him."
- Syn of Blackhand

"Stop asking me to hang out IRL."
- Akkasha of Blackhand

"Guess who had cotton candy vodka!"
- Marsipan of Blackhand

Welcome to SARC. Welcome home.
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100 Orc Warlock
I thought that healthstone conversation was just between us.
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100 Blood Elf Paladin
Will you be my friend?
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90 Troll Priest
I'm pretty sure my exact quote was "I wanna pepper spray him"

but +10 for effort sir!
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90 Blood Elf Warlock
I find this exceedingly difficult to fap to. But somehow I managed. Thanks!
Edited by Nymphêtaminê on 2/20/2013 5:35 PM PST
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80 Undead Mage
Wow! Shady Acres Raiding Community sounds GREAT. Can they help me with my nightmares? I wake up at night trying to make water two by two. In my dream I'm trying to give people water but........oh no....I cant talk about this anymore.
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100 Tauren Shaman
Of course. Step into my office.
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90 Troll Priest
Or under his desk....
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