Paint ta self-port'ait.

100 Undead Warrior
12425
'ey, I got t'is....note an' told ta bring it ta you.
No'm, I didn't mention it ta anyone else, jus' ask Ottis.
Here we go...
W'at? he's right 'ere. No t'is isn't a joke. See he's on ta table now.
Let it be...
W'at was t'at? say it again I dar...
*SLAM,SLAM,SLAM*
*CLUNK*
(picking himself up off floor)
...I didn't see t'a gua'ds before....no,no need fir t'at. Yes I apologize. Yes T'a maggots ate it all. Yes I'll pay fir t'a table...af'er I get all t'a splint'rs outta my teeth.
I don't think this is the right place for us, you were just beaten with a table. Do us a favor and pretend I'm not with you.
I t'aught we were a team, W'at? no, I don't need ta see your chair next.
Good boy.
So...w'at happens now? Really? t'at fast? 'special' opponent?! yes t'at is why I am 'ere! BRING OUT TA VICTIM! my axe hungers!
Can I wait here outside the cage?

Later that day....

*limps over to counter*
Can I get a brew please, an' keep 'em com'in.
BAHAHAHA!
Give it a rest al'eady.
Come on, that was gold. I will admit we did better than I thought you would...then you started to showboat in the cage.
........
Oh come on, you might as well tell them. they're all looking at us now anyway. It's not like this will keep quiet for long.
.......*sip*......
I promise I won't bring it up again...
.....fine. *sip*
Ottis an' I had enter'd a 'tournament' fir fight'rs. Af'er a dust up wi't security an' management we we're in ta club were not supos'd ta talk about an' ready ta rumble.
Then don't mention the part your not supposed to mention. It was a real 'dust up', your head sure showed that table who was boss.
......
Sorry, sorry, please continue
I breez'd through ta first challeneg'r that was fed ta me; a giant croc. It did nearly take o'bite out'ta me, but I mov'd like ta wind, jump'd on its broad head an' kept bash'in it wi't my mace unt'l it went ta have a 'nap'.
...I think that's the first time you actually told anyone what actually happened. Should have finished it though, would have made nice croc leather boots.
Wa't da ya mean the first time? I'm a professional 'ere!.
Anyway, I made it to ta secon' round. This was a lil'tough'r. A high lord o'fire stood on ta oth'r side o'ta areana. Ta ground burn'd beneith 'is ev'ry step an' hell fire flow'd from 'is eyes.
And you're back....
Ottis an' I cut it close, but we dispos'd of t'is inf'rno lord, sen'in him back to ta end o'ta line.
...I'll nev'r get back my hair t'at he sing'd though.
It would have be more than a 'singe' if Ottis hadn't clamped down on his toe for the distraction.
Saved your butt again there. You're welcome.

*sip*....an' t'ats was it fir ta day. We left wi't my two wins fir ta day. Ottis need'd ta rest up fir anoth'r round ta'morrow.
Explain the limp.
Wa't limp?
They can all see it.
I 'ave no idea wa't you are talk'in about.
So you didn't go for flight in the arena without you're drake?
*sip*...nope.
You didn't have a third fight with a Shovel Tusk after the 'Fire Lord' and you didn't get over confident and try to try ride it like a rocking horse after just barely dodging it's charge while yelling 'OLYA!'? The Shovel Tusk didn't then slam you into the cage wall and toss you in the air and out of the arena? You didn't slam up against the stadium wall and then fall to the ground? An Orc didn't run up to you after wards and try to kick you while you were down because he bet all his gold on you in the fight, and the only reason he didn't kick the rest of your teeth out while you were in your dazed state is because Ottis leap up and bit his ear? None of that happened?
*sip* ...I 'ave no idea w'at you're talk'in about. Besides ta guy on ta outside o'ta ring ask'in everyone fir hugs distract'd me.
This is the best you'll give up isn't it?
Yep
Fine. Finish your drink so we can go find a find an engineer that might be able to rig something up to patch your jaw. Your speech is worse than usual.
You try hav'in yir face slam'd inta a table an' t'en a wall. T'en we'll see 'ow you talk.
...or maybe we can get a Murloc to gnaw it off. I might enjoy or little talks more.
Edited by Mockrabbit on 2/13/2013 2:13 PM PST
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100 Blood Elf Paladin
7980
((Hah!))
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