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25 Gnome Warrior
He was waiting by the covered bridge between Westfall and Duskwood, a small-time hustler wearing a Canvas Vest with a pink carnation. Nothing too obvious.
I stepped from the shrubbery. He saw me, waved me over.
'You got the goods?' he grunted.
I tossed a bag down. He looked around, then knelt and opened it, pulling out a Ruined Pelt. 'Oh, lovely,' he breathed, almost shaking.
'There's 20 in there. As promised.' Not that I knew what he wanted with them, but a job's a job.
'Yes,' he sighed. 'I'm rich! They'll forget all about Two-Shoed Lou once I hit the market with these babies!'
He blinked at me, like he'd forgotten I was there. 'Ah, yes...the fee.' He nodded imperceptibly.
My well-honed sense of danger made me dodge. Just in time, as a big sweaty lug swung at me with a Bludgeoning Cudgel (honestly, it was carved on the side). The shady dealer squealed and clutched at his ill-gotten gains.
'This is more than we agreed on!' I barked. I had agreed to come obviously unarmed, but I had a holdout--a Poisoned Spider Fang up one sleeve, which I whipped out and jabbed at the lug. He groaned, clutching at his belly, Sticky Ichor running between his fingers.
I turned and spied the hustler running across the bridge, to Westfall and sweet freedom. Not so fast, I thought, and expertly threw the fang.
He cried out, the poisoned fang embedded between his shoulder blades, and fell down, his fingertips grazing Westfall dust. His eye rolled at me as I walked over and took back my bag.
'Keep the change, ya filthy animal!' I spat. Time to find another buyer...
22 Pandaren Priest
A Stormwind guard walked towards my table. Ooh, this will be a challenge, I thought as I put on my most dramatic face.
'Have you come seeking the wares of Orbu the Magnificent?' I intoned, with some mysterious hand gestures.
The guard loomed over my rotten crate, looking over the bits of junk for sale. 'I hear you've been selling these cast-offs to honest people for far more than they're worth.'
'NONSENSE!' I cried. Who snitched? Dashel? I bet it was that mangy dwarf.... 'These are rare treasures from distant lands!'
'Uh huh.' He poked at a pair of Worn Leather Bracers, artfully decorated with some Shed Fur.
'Aha! I see you have taste!' I snatched them up, waved them in his face. 'Barbarian wristwraps, hand-made by Darkspear trolls! Many gnomes died to bring us this armor!'
'Did they, now.' He pointed at some Withered Kelp. 'And that?'
'Arthas' Tears. Tea brewed from such herbs can cure any ailment. A bargain at 50 gold, surely!'
'Surely.' He picked up a Rust-Covered Blunderbuss. 'I suppose this came from Pandaria?'
'Indeed not! That's a Nesingwary 4000.' I grinned toothily.
'I've heard enough.' The guard swiped up an Empty Rum Bottle. 'Sounds like you've been hitting this too hard.'
I snatched it back. 'Careful! This Qiraji artifact holds a sleeping djinn!'
'There's nothing in there!'
'Nothing you can SEE!' I made spooky noises.
'Alright, come along!' The guard pulled out his club. 'I bet your name isn't even Orbu.'
I brandished a piece of Driftwood. 'Desist, thief! Or my blazing wand will have you! PEW PEW!'
The guard facepalmed. I took that opportunity to smash the bottle over his head and run like heck. 'WATCH OUT FOR THE DJINN!' I screamed to passersby as I ran out of Old Town. I'm gonna lowpaw whoever snitched....
Edited by Winterplum on 3/3/2013 10:32 PM PST
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