Quoth the Kalgan (Oldschool throwback)

90 Blood Elf Paladin
13415
Was going through some of the old WoW forum threads out of boredom when I stumbled across this gem. It was written by the legendary Grungast of Elune, who seems to have disappeared with Deathwing, but he's authored some of the most hilarious Paladin posts in the day (see http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/2140451044), and I figured it would be a shame to see this one die out.

As divisive as the community is about GC (I like him, some people don't), if you played before Wrath of the Lich King, you'll remember a time when the community stood united against the Wrath...of the Kalgan and his legendary Nerf-bat. I post this not to incite more QQ amongst the GC haters (but it probably will, tbh), but as a reminder that as far as the game has gone in its tenure, some things change, some things don't, but we all deserve a laugh at how things turn out.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I logged on, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of Warcraft lore,
While I grinded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my class' door.
"'Tis the nerf bat," I muttered, tapping at my class' door —
Twas Kalgan laughing, "QQ more"

This crazy dev was beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Thy nerfs be hard and reckless, thou art no game making genius,
Cease nerfing classes and turn this game into a chore -
Working so hard just to be weak is such a bore!"
Quoth the Kalgan, "QQ more."

I posted on the forums, for this dev loves to see 'em,
Though he answers with little meaning — little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no sublunary being
Would call it a buff when it's worse than before —
Those stats are wrong down to the very core,
But Kalgan just said "QQ more."

Wondering at the stillness broken by blue post so rarely spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store"
Making podcasts for the masses who feast on empty promises
"Wait for next patch" — with that Hope he would adjure,
Stern Despair returned, instead of the sweet Hope he dared adjure
No buffs, just nerfs - QQ more

Now the Kalgan, sitting lonely on the dev chair, spoke only
That one phrase, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Us players, still undaunted, on this forum board exhasuted —
Our hearts, worried and haunted — tell us truly, I implore —
Is there hope in expansion? — tell us — tell us, I implore!"
That sad answer, "QQ more!"
Edited by Jackishi on 2/13/2013 1:02 PM PST
Reply Quote
90 Human Paladin
12585
lol. I've never read that post but it's pretty damn brilliant.

No one that played before Wrath could ever know about the Wrath of Kalgan. The devs truly for some reason hated Paladins being anything other than healers and absolutely loathed the idea of making us viable as a damage dealing class.

GC isn't even in the same galaxy as the devs of old. He at least tries to make every class somewhat relevant, the developers back in the day would have been happy to absolutely cut 2/3 of our speccs from the game completely and laughed at us for it.

I do not miss those devs at all.
Reply Quote
90 Human Paladin
15265
02/13/2013 02:04 PMPosted by Vindicare
No one that played before Wrath could ever know about the Wrath of Kalgan. The devs truly for some reason hated Paladins being anything other than healers and absolutely loathed the idea of making us viable as a damage dealing class.


Everquest, they were butthurt over Everquest paladins.
Reply Quote
90 Blood Elf Paladin
17545
Butthurt is a good word. They could have have recognized that they were in a different game and simply designed it different with the comfort that EQ was behind them, instead of being blinded by the butthurt.

Same guys that were ok with warriors 1 shotting mages.
Reply Quote
90 Blood Elf Paladin
9495
There's a paladin poster whom I adore, if only for their name.

Kalganized.
Reply Quote

Please report any Code of Conduct violations, including:

Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.

Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.

Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.

Forums Code of Conduct

Report Post # written by

Reason
Explain (256 characters max)
Submit Cancel

Reported!

[Close]