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Do it right. Start by naming this child Greed. Then with your next one name it Envy. Now to finish this plan you will need 5 more children but the result will be glorious. Continue down the list, Lust, Pride, Sloth, Wrath, and Gluttony.
Now to complete the plan you must raise them all to their namesake. For example, give Greed everything they want and Envy NOTHING at the same time. Sloth you can chain to a bed and Wrath beat severely for no reason. Gluttony you can just put at the kitchen table and feed while Pride should be coddled and put as #1. As for Lust, well, you can use your imagination there. Do this and you'll still be better than 50% of the parents out there anyway and will be the talk of the town!
I adore you. And they can call you Father in that endearing way only a homuculi knows how.
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