Classes, ordered by how metal they are.

90 Undead Monk
12660
I have taken the time to organize this game's classes in order of how metal they are. The highest class on the list is the most metal class and the lowest class on the list is the least metal. Following the list will be explanations as to why I have placed them in this order. Discussion is accepted and if you wish to dispute my list and feel that one class or another is more or less metal than I have stated, feel free to do so. You will be wrong, but you have the right to be wrong and I respect your right to be wrong. For those of you looking to roll a new alt or starting the game, this can be a very useful guide for those of you who want to play a very metal class, or to help those of you too effeminate and squeamish to play a metal class.

CLASSES BY METAL
1 - Warlock
2 - Death Knight
3 - Warrior
4 - Priest
5 - Rogue
6 - Monk
7 - Druid
8 - Shaman
9 - Hunter
10 - Mage
11 - Paladin

EXPLANATION

Note: The first three slots are VERY close.

Warlocks are without a doubt the most metal class in the game. They dominate demonic forces and wield the powers of evil to rip the souls of their foes from them and burn them in eternal agony. I really don't think you can get any more metal than that. They dress like goth sodomites as well.

Death Knights are, thematically, a close second to Warlocks. They use the unholy and forbidden magic of death to crush their foes and are immortal juggernauts of darkness. One of their specs is named unholy and it is probably the most metal spec they have seeing as it makes you a lich lord who uses undead minions to conquer the world and leave nothing but disease and pestilence in their wake.

While Warriors are not fundamentally evil, they are fundamentally violent. When I think of a warrior, I think of a strong bearded barbarian who licks the blood off of his sword as sustenance and seeks nothing more than to live and die in the heart of battle. Everything a warrior does is about glorious battle, roaring and shouting while slaughtering everything in their path. In this regard, they are a very metal class.

You were probably surprised to see Priests this high on the list. This is because we always forget that priests don't always heal. Healing isn't very metal, after all. But some priests focus on the domination of the mind, whispering evil words to dissuade and scare their foes, leaving them full of doubt and weakness. That's pretty metal.

Normally, I would think of Rogues as petty thieves and nothing more, but not all rogues are simple swashbucklers and brigands. Some rogues live and die by the shadow. They stalk unseen and kill without a trace. This is a little bit metal.

By default, Monks are not very metal. They are a class that focuses on peacefulness and serenity, which are pretty un-metal. However, if you pretend that Brewmasters use mead instead of ale, then they suddenly become extremely metal. Mead is probably the second most metal drink ever, after human sacrificial blood, because viking warriors used mead, and they were the most metal humans in history.

The only correlation between Druids, Shamans, Hunters and metal is the fact that all of these classes are reminiscent of folk metal. Otherwise, they have no connection to metal. Druids are highest on the list because i like to imagine that they would one day make an "evil tree" glyph for resto druids that would make it so that they could be one of those gnarly badass trees from sleepy hollow that were scary and !@#$, which is actually kind of metal.

I placed Mages this low on the list because Mages are basically "warlocks for girls". Their spells are less visually impressive than Warlocks, and more importantly, they are afraid of the eldritch powers a Warlock wields. There is raw strength in a Warlock's evil magic, and Mages refuse to embrace it. For this reason, they are very un-metal.

Imagine if you will if they created a book. This book was like a dictionary. But whereas a dictionary describes what things are like, this book describes what things are not like. If you took this book and turned to the page on metal, then you would see Paladins. Paladins are, without a doubt, the exact opposite of metal. They are altruistic, kind, fair, selfless, and love peace. They have faith in a higher power and rather than try to dominate or defeat it, they allow it to guide them. Metal is not about being guided by a higher power, it is about crushing everything in your path and leaving nothing but bloody carcasses in your wake. I always imagine a male blood elf holy paladin fiddling with his hair and shying away from fights to see how pretty he can make his armor look, and that's not very metal.

Thanks in advance for reading this and I hope that you found it informative.
Edited by Kerrath on 3/18/2013 12:06 PM PDT
90 Goblin Hunter
10940
What the heck do you mean by "metal"?
The music genre or the element?
89 Pandaren Shaman
10065
metal?
90 Undead Monk
12660
What the heck do you mean by "metal"?
The music genre or the element?

The subculture associated with the music genre. Also metal isn't an element but it is a category of elements.

edit: do people really not know what metal is
Edited by Kerrath on 3/18/2013 11:49 AM PDT
70 Pandaren Monk
8605
lol / 10
45 Gnome Warlock
4920
This is very helpful, thank you.
90 Undead Monk
12660
I would like to think of warlocks as a squishy metal, like gold

Whereas Warriors are a tough metal, like Tungsten.

I placed warriors very high. The only reason I placed warlocks higher is because they are necessarily evil whereas a good warrior is feasible.

This is very helpful, thank you.

Welcome. Glad to be of service.
Edited by Kerrath on 3/18/2013 11:51 AM PDT
90 Human Warlock
6985
Best thread evar.
90 Human Paladin
10465
ITT: My favorite classes 1 - 11

Also, I thought metal music went out with the 90's
90 Blood Elf Warlock
11190
What type of metal? It better not be that trashy screamo metal where it sounds like the singer is just belching into the mic
90 Undead Monk
12660
ITT: My favorite classes 1 - 11

Also, I thought metal music went out with the 90's

oh look, a paladin who doesn't like metal.

not very surprised.

What type of metal? It better not be that trashy screamo metal where it sounds like the singer is just belching into the mic

All metal. It includes that kind of metal but there are very many kinds of metal including melodic metal that has appealing vocals.
Edited by Kerrath on 3/18/2013 11:53 AM PDT
90 Blood Elf Mage
7150
I vote Mages as Mercury. For no good reason whatsoever.
90 Troll Warlock
9210
I enjoy this thread. Please continue.

Especially the mead part.
90 Goblin Hunter
10940
What the heck do you mean by "metal"?
The music genre or the element?

The subculture associated with the music genre. Also metal isn't an element but it is a category of elements.

edit: do people really not know what metal is

I'm sorry, it's just that I didn't really associate the genre's culture with any of the classes.

It better not be that trashy screamo metal where it sounds like the singer is just belching into the mic

(cough cough Linkin Park cough)
90 Gnome Mage
3450
I'm very glad to see that I'm not "metal," since IMO decent "metal" disappeared with Black Sabbath & has since been replaced by screaming-filled garbage that sounds more like punk with a really bad attitude.
50 Undead Warlock
6425
This is very helpful, thank you.


Indeed, I have bookmarked it for future reference.
90 Dwarf Paladin
4820
Say that to my face.
90 Blood Elf Warlock
11190
All metal. It includes that kind of metal but there are very many kinds of metal including melodic metal that has appealing vocals.


True it's just kind of a pet peeve of mine when people call that kind of metal "Music" I just don't agree and it gives me a headache.

It's a bit silly when the singer is "singing" in english and I can't even understand him. I listen to mostly German industrial metal. I can't speak a lick of German but I can understand them more then those belchy singers.
90 Human Paladin
10465
03/18/2013 11:56 AMPosted by Fleafly
screaming-filled garbage


^
This topic has reached its post limit. You may no longer post or reply to posts for this topic.

Please report any Code of Conduct violations, including:

Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.

Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.

Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.

Forums Code of Conduct

Report Post # written by

Reason
Explain (256 characters max)
Submit Cancel

Reported!

[Close]