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Journal Page 3: Thursday
The memories came back all at once. Crippling pain, my mind racing. I remember this town all too well.
I had made my way to the ruins of Southshore, in Hillsbrad Foothills. They stand testament to my failure.
I lead my men against the Forsaken onslaught, and for days it seemed we were slowly beating back the Forsaken offensive. Even their foul plague was no match for the determination and courage of my soldiers and I. At the time I thought of returning home, beating, bruised, and victorious. The crowds would cheer as we made our way to the keep in Stormwind, my loyal lieutenant Krtyan by my side, and my love Tesslara linking her arm with mine. We would be heroes.
But the best laid plans often go awry.
We made a tactical retreat from the frontlines to regroup with our dwarven allies, and push back out to crush the Forsaken. It was my warhorn that sounded the call to charge, and I rode forward towards the mass of undead. I would pierce their ranks, my men and Tesslara following behind me. But the Forsaken made minimal effort to push against us. Most ran past me, towards Southshore.
As I felled my fifth undead, I heard those faithful words.
"Fall back, all of you! Fall back! Valdrin can handle them!"
Every since arriving here, Krytan's words have echoed over and over again in my head. A torturous melody.
I had no time to react, though. Another group of soldiers came at me, and I slew them as well. The bodies were piling up around me, as some kind of grotesque monument to my strength.
It was not the sword or the plague of the Forsaken that brought me down. It was an arrow in my stomach that threw me to the ground. It came from hundreds of yards away, impossible for any of the marksman present at the battle. Another arrow pierced my hip, and I fell to one knee as I tried to stand. I cut the legs out from under an undead and looked up, to the Forsaken camp. I saw nothing, yet another arrow struck me in the throat.
I fell to the ground, my sword falling from my palm. I couldn't move my legs. I couldn't breath. I turned my head to my men, expecting to see them charging forward for their Marshall, ignoring Krytan's cowardly orders.
I saw nothing. They had retreated to the dwarf stronghold in the east. Even Teslarra had gone with them.
"Fall back, all of you! Fall back! Valdrin can handle them!"
Those words were all I could hear. How could Krytan order my men away? How could they listen? I was their Marshall, Krytan was merely my lieutenant! But they abandoned me to my doom.
I could only look to the sky in despair as darkness took me. But my mind is clear now. I know what happened that day, 3 months ago at the Battle of Southshore.
I did not fall behind, I was left behind.
Krytan was always jealous of me, of Tesslara and I. Of my rank. Of my upbringing. He wanted everything-
<The remainder of the page is crumpled and torn apart>
Edited by Valdrín on 5/10/2013 12:44 AM PDT
The last thing you ever want is for people you care about to doubt you. At least, that's how I feel. When I met with Kel'tira today, as we often seem to meet these days (for the better, of course!), Ratheron happened upon us while searching for workers. It occurred to me towards the end of the conversation that I had met Tai Stronghammer. And everyone feared him. Even I could tell there was something very wrong with the Death Knight. The sickening glee in which he spoke of hurting me was not faked. It was not bravado and it was not hollow. He lusted after my pain. I could feel it. In every fiber of my being, I could feel it.
Like a sickening chill infesting me, trying to seep into my soul.
Even worse was that when I volunteered to hunt Tai, to see what his plans were for myself, if he was acting as I hoped he would, Ratheron refused it. He wanted someone calmer to go. Someone who wouldn't make Tai want to kill them. Or hurt them. And a small part of me told me it was obviously because he wanted me safe. So I told him to trust me, it was alright. But still, he denied it.
And I began to wonder if he didn't doubt me, honestly.
Just as Kel'tira silently wouldn't speak of things to me.
Do people think me stupid or simple? That I do not remember the words she spoke to me while shaken, that she does not think I would be helpful? Instead, in the matter on Cyaer, she took Ratheron to the side, away from me, and spoke no more on the matter to me. I can read. I dropped it. I never asked again. But it hurt.
When she was to hand the guild to Ratheron, she spoke to me. But said nothing about this. And Ratheron, I think he would have said something. But maybe he wouldn't have.
I'm being left in the dark. Even when I convinced Ratheron that he was being unfair to me, or perhaps reminded him of who -I- am. And yet, even that part is losing the will to fight against others' notions of me. Where once before I would have said "Hah, try to stop me," and run off, I couldn't. Because he now is weighed by the weight that hurt Kel. If I leave him, who will support him? I'm more useful to him here than doing what I think is right.
Eventually, he consented. But I have to wonder, still. Even after his reassurances, the damage has already been done. And even I would have turned away what I believed to be my own duty, if not because Tai would recognize me, that he might hold off a bit longer, or would even volunteer a tidbit... to torment me... More so than to a stranger, at least...
Or maybe I really am only useful for a smile.
I am alone with my thoughts for the first time in a spell. Dalen swept into my life like the whirlwind that he is and turned everything over, round and round, and inside out. Were it not for my duties, I would have heeded his plea to visit with the little chaotic monk named Shadow. I did not spend much time with the girl, but what was once an apprehensive meeting turned into quite an amusing spectacle. Everything she does and everything she touches seems so full of life. It reminds me of an earlier time, as if she dragged her own childhood into the world and made everything and everyone her new play thing. Even going as far as to get herself stuck beneath a pile of boxes while finding guildstones for Dalen and myself.
Ratheron, who I once thought might be a cruel man to abandon his own brother, quickly dismissed my presumptions before I could accuse him of a single thing. I respect the man, though I find his choice of women to be a bit amusing. He and Shadow are like night and day in itself. And yet they complement each other well. Perhaps I complement Dalen? No. I feel as if I am constantly at his mercy. I do not affect the man, not with who I am or what I do. I am caught up completely in his world, in his life, and in his passions. I speak to him through what he understands and he shudders with delight. But I would never get this reaction if I spoke to him on my level. It's too subtle. And all he wants is to draw me away from myself and my thoughts. I thank him for that.
But this is a good time to reflect as well. On what being a Blood Knight means, what I am sacrificing to help the Fellowship, what abandoning them would mean. So many things to consider. The pros and cons that I never truly took the appropriate time to weigh before following this silly Ranger. I promised to guard and protect him, to be his healer. That is what I do. And when he is healthy and strong, I do not know where I will go next with my life. Perhaps I will throw away his teachings and return to who I was before. Quiet, thinking, forceful when I need to be, doing what will strengthen my people and thinking not for the world around me. I have forged myself into a soldier and a weapon, one with a commanding force and presence. It is and always will be my greatest pride.
And it means nothing around Dalen. I do not know what to do with that fact except ignore it. And ignore every part of me that has ever pleased me before I knew him. But I do not feel empty or that I have abandoned who I am. I find myself thinking less and less on strategy and more on memorizing song lyrics and melodies. Humming to myself, trying to hone my voice so that I do not murder every note that passes from my lips. But what good will singing do me in the future? When I run out of songs? Will I try to write my own? I do not know, and I am ashamed of singing in front of people. It takes all I have to do it in front of one person, and I know he would never tell me I am horrible at it. Nor would his family. They are too polite.
Except for Tyrael.
But he was too wrapped up in the priest who follows him everywhere to offer critique. And I do not feel Ratheron would utter a hard word against a fly that bit him. For it was simply a fly doing what it does. And Shadow... Shadow just wants attention and to play the fool. She does it well, and I find myself forgetting who I am. The Firehawks are dangerous, this small group of men alone can make me cease to be the Blood Knight Commander Seraphathir Bloodrose and draws me back into being...
I hate that nickname. Loathe it. I call myself Ser for a reason. And I find myself put off every time it is said to me. I find myself unable to easily connect with these people. I question if I even should. I question the lifespan of this tiny group. And then I find myself thinking back to watching Ratheron and Tyrael, two polar opposites, drumming a beat on the crates, and Dalen singing as if his heart is being torn apart. And again, I think of how dangerous these men are. If Aserius is anything like them, then it's no wonder that Silvermoon and the Sin'dorei are in danger.
These are all facts, mixed with muddled and confused feelings. Let me make a list.
I am not certain how to reach out to people when I have spent so long being a 'Blood Knight'.
I am uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.
I do not hate this person I am becoming.
I also realize. I never knew who I would have been if not for a military woman. Maybe it isn't that I am changing to please someone. Maybe I am simply becoming who I was meant to be.
Perhaps I will visit with Shadow and Eve tomorrow. I want to see who I am when a Firehawk isn't around to 'spice' things up. I will see who I am, then.
A plain and simple pale blue journal is inscribed on the front:
Journal of A Bard-Hahnai Dawnsinger
It was a strange day for me here in Light's Hope Chapel. I met a Sindorei named simply Shadow. She seemed very nice. Happy and cheerful. She told me about this Fellowship and invited me to join it. I agreed and she said she would get me a guildstone.
This Fellowship seems like a good group of folks. They are in the process of moving out of Silvermoon and making this small community out in the Plagued Lands. I see a lot of potential here for the renewal of the land. Farmers to grow crops and livestock. Tradesmen to make it a real nice community, and lots of open room to spread out.
Even though the Argent Crusaders seem to have the area well policed, they still recruit strangers to so work. I am sure they do it for anyone who comes along to ask if they need help.
A plain journal, covered in black silk with the letter R embroidered in fine silver thread occupying the upper right hand corner.
A strange thing happened earlier. I was caught with Charmon by my side, but instead of being ridiculed, the people started a conversation. I could scarcely believe it! The only other people that I have come across and didn't immediately ostracise me were other warl -- shadow mages.
In the course of the conversation, the topic of whether I was alone came up. I had to answer yes. After the way my so-called friends turned on me, I had made it a point of keeping to myself. I couldn't risk that sort of hurt again. Even now, I can see Micah's face as he jeered at me along with the others.
(The page is tear-stained and crumpled at this point, making it hard to read what is written. It only becomes readable after a few paragraphs)
Some days I miss my brother. Leon would know what to do to cheer me up. If only he wasn't off fighting the sha in Pandaria. For a blood knight he's ok. He even accepted my calling without question. I know some of his friends give him grief about it, but he shrugs it off.
Perhaps that is why I accepted their offer to join their group. I don't know, but I do know that I'm tired of being alone. I hate this blasted shyness that has plagued me all my life, and my calling almost seems to reinforce it. It's hard enough for me to make friends as it is without having to hide part of myself from others in fear that if they find out about that part, they will reject me like so many others have done in the past.
Of course, the fact that the group is opposed to the Firehawks is a bonus. Any opportunity to get back at them for the chaos they have caused in Silvermoon City is one to be grabbed with both hands.
I must finish packing. I've gotten passage on a caravan to Light's Hope Chapel in a few days. From there, I will be escorted to the Ruins of the Scarlet Enclave where the fellowship has made their new home. My only hope is that the soil there is still fertile and I'll be able to find a quiet corner where I can grow my herbs and make my potions in peace.
Ratheron sat looking over the supply reports and other information that had been brought to him by several outside sources as well as those within the Fellowship. This wasn't going to go over well he knew yet there were things he couldn't just put off till later. He looked up at the construction and smiled as he realized that by the next day it was going to be completed, just missing furniture and other furnishings. But that was for Cyaer and Kel'tira to do, they would have the time for it and it would be helpful to them, he thought as he pulled his stone out.
"Calling all Fellowship members to return to the Enclave as quickly as they can. It is imperative that all of us are there for anything that happens." Ratheron spoke into the stone and set the message that would repeat daily across it for people to say the same thing. As he turned back to the construction, there were things yet to be done that he still needed to finish.
Same frozen tomb, filled with another entry.
So, I met Kel'tira.
She seemed like a nice woman, strong in ways, but inside....scared. She looks like someone who has been through much, yet has been able to tell the tail countless times after each event. My oath was clear; Protect and keep Kel'tira safe, and to help her when ever she needs assistance. In way, I will be her handmaiden, with an icy twist.
She told me about a certain family known as the Firehawks....saying that they were dangerous. I will have to learn more about these people, see who they are, and determine what kind threat they are to the Fellowship. If they prove hostile enough, the chill of death shall embrace them when I come to take their heads. If not, then I will keep an eye of them.
Perhaps this man Ratheron, can provide me with more information on them. I've yet to see him, perhaps I shall be doing that soon....
Soon enough, the whole of the Fellowship shall know of my presence.
from the pages of my journal:
So many occurances, so many changes. From highs that left me soaring in the clouds to lows that signified just what kind of leadership the Fellowship has fallen under. And I find myself torn.
Kel'tira and I have talked about having a family in the past few days, even so far as to what names we would give our first son and first daughter. I have never felt so close or affectionate with that wonderful wife of mine as I have these past few days.
I am beginning to see Kel'tira in a whole new light, and I find myself loving her all the more as the mother of our children. And she excites me beyond anything I have ever believed possible. Light, I pray we have a long and happy life together.
Ratheron showed us a villa that had been built for Kel and me. It is a wonderful home, and we love it. But in the back of my mind I cannot help wonder how long we will be able to live here, and if Kel will be alive to enjoy it.
Ratheron Firehawk, our new illustrious Fellowship leader. He has concerns for the Fellowship, which is as it should be. But I wonder too. He is a Firehawk, just as the one who seeks to take the Fellowship by force. And now the Fellowship finds itself in the worn ruins of the Scarlet Enclave, a place where there is no escape, only to be cornered and fight for our very lives.
I listened yesterday, and he has chosen to hide behind Kel'tira's skirts. Rath would have her as a decoy, than to stand as the acknowledged leader of the Fellowship. Perhaps it is a grand strategy, and he is a great military leader, but it is my wife that stands to fight this crazy bastard not Rath. Am I finally getting to see his true color, yellow?
I can but wait and see. And stand beside Kel'tira and hope together we will stand victorious. She has said we will need to wait a week to see if she is with child, and my heart sinks at the thought she might lose our first because of Ratheron's cowardice. I can only hope that will not be the scenario that comes to pass.
Or there will be hell to pay.
90 Blood Elf Priest
from my journal pages:
I heed the call, and find myself within the broken walls, and dead buildings of the Scarlet Enclave. Why are we in this god-forsaken place?
No time to lose, I prepare the place I shall set up triage and surgeries. It is filthy, and the perfect place for disease and infection to breed and multiply. How many will I lose to those?
I set about to cleaning and washing what I can, and seal the cracks and such. Light be with me and the rest of us. I only wish Kel'tira knows what she is doing out here. I don't.
I rest and take a simple meal. I tire easily from the strain of Pandaria, and it's deep secrets I have uncovered. I will return when and if we ever get this new campus ready for our people of the Fellowship.
I took a brief tour of the place, and it has much potential, perhaps that is why Lady Sunblaze brought us out here. A new beginning, and a new chapter for the Fellowship. I pray that she is right.
Light be us all of us, and the leaders of our Fellowship, I feel we will need all the help we can muster. Protect Kel'tira as we prepare for what is to come.
Loyalty’s strength is sorely tested,
Valor’s bonds broken and bested,
Yet strong they stand and face the end,
The rising tides of horror on friend
Bound together by fellowship’s ties,
With strength of old, heroes shall rise.
Salvation found in the unlikeliest places,
And love’s touch is put through its paces.
Yet Darkness is all that can be seen...
Tychus looked around the area, it was obvious they had cleared it out only recently. It was also obvious that they had needed every second they had bought with their nipping attacks. “Whoever is in charge knows what they are doing. I rather like how this is turning out...” Tychus drawled happily, he didn’t mind the chase. In fact he enjoyed it, it was the part of the game that excited him the most. “Where are they headed?” Tychus asked, turning to look at his “officers” wondering if any of them knew, “Eastern Plaguelands my lord, the ruins of the Scarlet Enclave. Scouts report seeing the caravan assaulted by bandits. Yuri here interrogated them and found out where it was headed.” Targus was the first to speak and it was obvious that he was dying to destroy this group.
“Interested, so they seek to build upon the ashes of the old. Symbolic of them yet foolish. They are now cornered, hemmed in. We shall destroy them.” Tychus said the last words as he turned to regard the form of Aserius, the head of House Firehawk was weak and it looked like he would keel over at any moment. “As for you, it is with regret that I inform you that you are no longer needed.” Tychus laughed as Aserius tried to rise, tried to defend himself yet he fell to his knees. “Oh oh! The little man wishes to fight! Splendid!” Tychus hopped around Aserius and clapped, acting like a child who had just woken up on Christmas morning.
“You... promise...” Aserius whispered, the words so soft that it might have been a mistake what they heard but Tychus didn’t care simply laughing. “Promised? No I never promise, they are as worthless as the Light is. You see Aserius I was always going to kill you yet the Fellowship did it for me. Amazing how that works, someone else doing my work for me!” Tychus grinned as he motioned for two of his Shadow Knights to pick Aserius up so that the Sin’dorei was on his knees looking at Tychus. “You see Aserius there is only Darkness. This Fellowship is a blight upon the world, much like the Horde and much like the Alliance. They all are blind, scampering around trying to stop what they believe is evil in this world.” Tychus shakes his head and pouts, “All I am trying to do is show you and them, how pathetic all your attempts are at controlling your lives are.”
Tychus laughed, it was obvious the man was mad yet he looked as sane as Aserius! “This world needs to be cleansed, my masters will cleanse it! They will bring about a new world order that will make all of this,” Tychus waves his hand around, as if referring to the fighting the destruction as nothing more than an annoyance, “Go away! For for the world to be brought to its true potential. Its true -glory- we must burn it to the ground... For from the fire will rise the new world!” Tychus all but cries as those around him grin and chuckle, it was their dream.
“You are mad...” Aserius mutters, coughing up some blood as he says it and Tychus laughs, “Yes yes! I am mad! Insane!” Tychus cries as he then grabs Aserius’ head and pushes his entire consciousness into the Sin’dorei. “Let me show you just how insane!” He cries with mad glee, his thoughts pouring past the mage’s defenses as if they were nothing more than a piece of paper, cut into ribbons, and Aserius cried out in pain. He cried out in fear and wondered how it was this man stayed together! Tychus showed him everything, his humble beginnings, his training the world he grew up in and as they progressed it shifted, the landscapes running together until Aserius and Tychus were alone in a black environment...
“Do you feel them?” Tychus roared at Aserius and at first the mage felt nothing but pain and fear. But as he realized where they were he felt them. At first it was just gibberish but soon Tychus translated it for him and what he heard forced cries of anguish and pure terror from his throat.
“Do not fear little mage... Your sacrifice, your inability to understand. You will come to know what we are...” The said in unison, their voices both melodic and chaotic. It was chaos all around Aserius, flashes of color; battles waged, wars fought lives taken. He watched history unravel around him, he watched as everything he knew spun into nothingness and then was put back together the way it was and then the process repeated itself. “Make it stop...” Aserius cried and as he said it the laughter started.
It was low at first, quiet yet it grew in volume and Aserius realized he would go mad just listening to it. “Ahhhh! Make it stop!” He cried his hands moving to his ears yet he couldn’t move he couldn’t even breath he realized as everything physical ceased to exist. Ceased to make sense and suddenly Aserius realized he was alone in this black place, alone on his own as he stared into the dark hollow eyes in front of him. “You will learn...” The voice said again and the last thing Aserius heard was the laughter of Tychus....
Tychus sighed as he signaled for the men to drop Aserius’ body, the corpse dissolving slowly and Tychus grinning, “Well he will serve a higher calling now! Let us make haste towards the Fellowship. I wish to see this thing done with so that we can continue to push the war forward. Things on the Isle of Thunder go poorly for the Thunder King and his allies, the Shado-Pan prove to be a voice of reason to the Alliance and Horde there sadly.” Tychus said as he ushered his officers to get the men moving. At his command they rushed forward and began issuing orders the few hundred of them there were marshalling quickly and heading south.
Darkness was coming for the Fellowship.
The Firehawks approach and I wonder over these children I've been put in charge of. The Enclave is not a bad place. With our backs to the cliffs, they can only come at us one way. And that way is easy to track and scout from, cliffs and ruins abound. The reverse truth is that we are trapped here. If we are attacked and cannot throw off the attackers, we have nowhere to run.
They're panicking. I can feel their tension. Apprehension grasps at my own chest, but I meditate to keep calm and collected. I've done this far too many times. I've seen far too many battles. This is the bread and butter of my life. I enjoy it, the tense atmosphere before a storm, the waiting for bodies to clash, the chaos that explodes once that calm has broken, and we're all lost in the heat of battle. Until calm finds us again, until we collect ourselves. Our dead. It is a ritual. One I have repeated many, many times. I can understand why the little ones are nervous, they are not soldiers. They did not pick this life. They hold onto their fears and allow themselves to waste energy with heated words.
All I can do is reassure them. And myself. I am going to have to see them through this. I am only grateful for the fact that Dalen is at my side. He will help me. He knows conflict well, even if he is missing the last decade of his life. He scouts them now as they approach us. We do not have long to rest and relax. I only hope that these people are making the most of these final moments, preparing themselves.
Because once we step foot onto the battlefield, there is no turning back.
I gave Varus a journal. So that he can record these moments of our lives. So that he could truly express himself. I think it might keep us both sane. But I find that staying sane around the man is never an option.
Who am I?
Zarina Felwhisper, daughter of a family of warlocks. All exiled, self-proclaimed or otherwise. Or dead. I am alone to carry on this family… legacy. I also happen to be the only Crystal Mage in existence. Only because the magic is so impractical and hard to master that no one has bothered with it. Ratheron has, at least, found a new use for my spells. Infusing a poor quality crystal with enough fire magic, I can ensure that it will crack, creating an explosion of energy and magic, bathing those around it in flame.
It's so much more fun to burn them myself, but I cannot complain about finding new ways to do it.
I'm also going to be a mother. Apparently.
Varus and I are a new couple, and the entire courtship itself was fairly straight forward. I found him, about to be killed. I killed what was trying to kill him. We shared a glass of wine, a dance floor, and then his bed. Many times. Vigorously. By the second day, I was torn between trying to keep him and ditching him because he is highly intelligent (you just wouldn't know if you saw how he likes to be wrapped around my finger). And thus, is dangerous.
I also realized I wanted to have a child around that point in time, and that I had not prepared myself for sharing a night with a man. While considering this, I also began to learn things about Varus himself. Snooping around his apartment, I found his wedding band and left it out for him to see, to make him sweat a little. I don't care if I'm his affair. I don't care what his wife thinks. I also don't care if he's mourning over some lost loved one. I just wanted to test him.
The man laughed and put the ring away. Rather than be insulted, he treats my antics like it's a game. Which would be the safest approach, I suppose. He confessed to me soon enough, he told me he was married to someone who not only cheated on him, but tried to pawn her unborn child off on his friend and mentor. The two of them had a falling out over it. But the two came to terms with whatever went on between them.
The second night, we shared my bed, and I waited until he was asleep to steal his key, break into his apartment, and steal his wedding band. When he woke in the morning, I was wearing it as a declaration of war. It was also my decision, around then, to use him as a status symbol. The stigma of a warlock is a hard one to wash off, and the more natural you appear in Sin'dorei society, the easier it is to be taken as a mage. Thus, I took a man. And decided to push on eagerly towards my other goals.
Which, somehow, lead to me fulfilling that wish to have his child. I still wear his wedding ring to this day, and he is beyond thrilled with this fact. Divorce papers have already been sent to his wife, more of a declaration than a plead, I'm certain. Considering who Varus is, I can't imagine why she would pass up such a fun male. He did, after all, tell me that if I lost interest, that he wished to plead his case in open competition to me, to prove who the better man was.
I might just take him up on it one day to see if he's brave enough to follow through. If only because I've still yet to push one wrong button.
Well. There was one. Something about dumb people getting in over their heads and losing their child.
But I'm not that stupid.
P.S. Torched one Firehawk estate. Burned some women and children alive. Going to hit up Firehawk Spire come morning. Should be fun!
Such is life, bringing to us the things we fear most at the worst possible times. Life will test us, it will push us and if let it then it will walk all over us. I knew they would come, I just wish we had more time. Time, I chuckle at the thought of time for it is the one thing we always need more of. Perhaps this is the lesson we are supposed to learn, that time is precious and we must make the most of it when it there right in front of us.
A lesson I am still learning, one that I think we all need to learn. But are we ready for this? Will we survive? I question this constantly, I look at our group and I see children. I see men and women who haven't faced darkness as some have. I then see those who have seen too much darkness. Are we prepared? The question buzzes in my mind as I sit at this table, looking at the battle plan, looking at the names of those within the Fellowship.
Will we survive?
Will we win?
What will we lose in the process?
But then I realize that this is the purpose of these tests. Life tests us to see if we have the drive and motivation to succeed. To reach our goals and to move forward in life. I remember my training at this point, the lessons I was taught when I was learning to become a monk. Push. Forward. Train. Remember why you fight. Do not let your darkness control you.
I look up at the sky, walking out into the dawn and I realize with a smile that there is something that we all must realize. I know why I fight. I fight for a better world, a world free of this darkness that taints it. The words leave my lips even as I write this entry...
"I choose to rise, not fall... I choose to live and not die. I choose to fight. Back." I smile at them for it is the truth, it is my will that will push me forward, I will not let the cries of my body or mind stop me for I have reason yet to see a new day dawn.
I got up in the dead of night, Zari is sleeping and as I look at her I have to smile and chuckle quietly to myself. She is the best thing in my life right now, coming exactly when I needed her to. She gave me back my fire, the passion within my heart that had driven me for most of my life. I remember now how I got where I am. I remember why I pushed this far, and yet I lost sight of my dream because I lost sight of who I was.
I look over at her and I realize I lost sight of who I was, I was being tempered, not by my own choices but by the environment around me and it was bringing me down. But now? Now I am who I was destined to be, or I should say I am on the path to become who I was meant to be. Zari and I had been asked to raid the Firehawk estates, to keep our ears to the ground for information and to cause chaos. Oh how glorious it was, watching her burn them alive. Watching her and her demons attack the Firehawks, it was beautiful...
She is dangerous, oh so dangerous but I love it. She is ambitious and she gives me back my ambition, my cunning. She makes me feel like I did long ago, when the anger and fire in my soul and now it returns to me. She thinks she has so many flaws, we all do though and as I try to explain that to her I chuckle because even as she stubbornly refuses to admit that I love her what she fails to realize is that I do indeed love her for her flaws. But there is more to her than that, she is caring and kind to those who reach past her walls of flame. At least those who dare to try.
Oh she will enjoy reading these pages in the days to come, what will be fun is her trying to tell me that I am an idealistic fool. Hah! There is nothing farther from the truth when it relates to me. I am a Blood Knight, I take power and strength and make it my own. I bend it to my will, to my use. I am not a Paladin. Paladins are weak and narrow-sighted creatures who let morals and ethics hold them back. No, I will never be held back. I now fight for my own reasons, to fulfill the ends that I wish to fulfill. I fight now against the Firehawks to help Tyrael, to pay him back for helping me in my hour of need. But what will I do after that? Who knows, I surely don't but I am unconcerned because I will have Zari at my side and we will push forward in this world always fighting.
A small , cloth wrapped journal with the mark of the Sunraine house stamped on the front.
Dear journal, and anyone who is reading it, let me introduce myself.My name is Ryelth Sunraine of the Sunraine house, and I am a Mage of the academy of Dalaran, or at least I was.Last night I was caught reading about forbidden magic in the library of Dalarn, and the last thing I remember was feeling a sharp pain in my forehead before I became unconscious. I woke up from the bright sunlight on the building of a strange place filed with red and gold buildings.A blue sea went out as long as I could see a ways ahead,and mana wyrms and lynxes roamed the green grass freely.Standing over me on an albino crane was a beautiful blood elf.She had oranges hair and a fair face.He green eyes glowed softly with a look of amusement, and her lips formed a smirk. "Nice place for nap huh?" She said with a hint of sarcasm.I sat up groggily and looked her straight in the eyes"Where are we?" I asked her."Sunstrider Isle,always has been,always will be." She replied. I sat up and looked around,then remembering the incident in Dalaran moaned.,"Why,why did I have to do that." the girl looked at me funnily," Do what?" She asked."I was caught researching forbidden magic..." He replied warily.Se grinned at him wickedly, she must be a warlock, I thought.Suddenly, I ran to mailbox.Inside was a letter addressed to me in scrawling handwriting and sealed with the symbol of the academy of Dalaran. I opened the letter,and unrolled the parchment contained within.It read "Dear Ryelth of the Sunraine house, we are regretted to inform you that you have been expelled from the university of Dalaran, and hope you find somewhere else to research forbidden magic.
Archmage of Dalaran
"No....." I muttered "No no no no no!
How could this be happening to me?I turned back to the blood elf, who had been watching me intently,and almost cried."Now I'm broke, homeless, and friendless."the girl studied him,"You could always join the Fellowship of the Rising Sun, I joined because they needed recruits." I pondered this, and the woman helped me join the fellowship.She gave me a stone to contact members and left me to help the civilians of the Isle.Before she left, she introduced herself as Zarina( I think).
I write to you now as I sit on a mound of pillows inside the largest building of the Isle.I wil write again soon.
I've always possessed it. Without it, I would have died long ago. Without it, I would have been found out long ago. I have to keep moving forward carefully. At all times, I watch my back. At all times, I maintain my front. I'm not certain what lies between, but I do not believe it to be pleasant any longer. That is why I am vicious towards Varus. That, and the fact that the damn man feeds off of everything I do.
He considers me soft, if only towards him. Towards a child we've never even met, or touched. He has no idea how I will react to it. -I- have no idea how I'll react to it. I think that the man's head is in the clouds half of the time, and yet he has seen what I am capable of when I am driven to hate someone. The Firehawks got what they deserved. If you cannot back up your actions, prepare to have everyone you know suffer as a consequence!
And yet still, I think about what being a part of this 'Fellowship' means. I listened to Shadow bemoan the loss of people who lacked the ability to stay true to something they had committed towards. People who apparently couldn't handle things when they got rough. I pity the girl, I really do. She has no idea what this world is capable of yet. To have people abandon you in your darkest hour is not uncommon. Listening to her cry was, unfortunately, rather annoying.
I think upon the two I have called towards the Fellowship. One scarcely able to hide herself. If she fails, I will see how the Fellowship reacts to warlocks. If she succeeds, she may yet find companionship among their numbers. Whichever happens, I will be greatly curious. The other, a priest of sorts, seems to know this Death Knight named... Des. She seemed more like me. A sort who doesn't balk at the darkness that is life. Her concern that the Fellowship is weak has been answered fairly at this point, I believe.
The Firehawks burn in the name of the Fellowship. As I am its tool. For now. And yet, something about what I heard over the guildstone disturbed me on some level. I now find myself an errand girl as well. Delivering a message to Aranthil if his cousin were to fall in battle... It is a grim task, truly. And I harbor no love for those who cannot even speak my name properly.
If I were to grow soft, what would happen? How long until I meet my end? What of Varus, and what of my child? I find that the closer I am to others, the more of a reason I have to maintain who I am. Out of my own greed, I will not give anything up, out of the need to possess what I must, to do what I must, and to be who I must to not lose this. A pathetic cycle, I had to admit!
Where is mine taking me?
<The young monk sends word back to her friends at the Enclave. Soon enough, a notice is posted and copies mailed out to each member of the Rising Sun.>
It has scarcely been a week since our conflict with the Firehawks and their sorcerer. When they will return, we cannot tell for sure, not at this time. Rest assured that we will be better prepared the next time it happens. We now know what their strength looks like, we have had the opportunity to learn from this encounter, and most important of all, we have each other.
The Horde needs us in a sense that has never been known to us before. Garrosh is on an unstoppable warpath, and it is up to us to honor the spirit of our alliance with each other and those outside of our kin. Not all of us are warriors, but we can all find a way to contribute to the building of New Dawn, to the efforts of the Horde, and to our own growth.
Do not walk forward in fear. Walk forward in faith. We are not alone.
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