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Himanshu and his trusty servant Xanathal "ride" into a field where peasants are
working. They come up behind a cart which is being dragged by a hunched-over
peasant in ragged clothing. Xanathal slows as they near the cart.
Himanshu: Old Woman!
The peasant turns around, revealing that he is in fact a man.
Himanshu: Man, sorry.... What knight lives in that castle over there?
Man: I'm thirty-seven!
Himanshu: (suprised) What?
Man: I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old--
Himanshu: Well I can't just call you "man"...
Man: Well you could say "Dinsbane"--
Himanshu: I didn't know you were called Dinsbane!
Man: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?!
Himanshu: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind, you looked--
Man: Well I object to your...you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Himanshu: Well I *am* king...
Man: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And 'ow'd you get that, eh?
(he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart)
By exploiting the workers! By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
If there's ever going to be any progress,--
Woman: Dinsbane! There's some lovely filth down 'ere!
(noticing himanshu) Oh! 'Ow'd'ja do?
Himanshu: How do you do, good lady. I am Himanshu, king of the Britons.
Woman: King of the 'oo?
Himanshu: King of the Britons.
Woman: 'Oo are the Britons?
Himanshu: Well we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
Woman: I didn't know we 'ad a king! I thought we were autonomous collective.
Man: (mad) You're fooling yourself! We're living in a dictatorship! A
self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
Woman: There you go, bringing class into it again...
Man: That's what it's all about! If only people would--
Himanshu: Please, *please*, good people, I am in haste! WHO lives in that
Woman: No one lives there.
Himanshu: Then who is your lord?
Woman: We don't have a lord!
Himanshu: (spurised) What??
Man: I *told* you! We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We're taking
turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week--
Himanshu: (uninterested) Yes...
Man: But all the decisions *of* that officer 'ave to be ratified at a
special bi-weekly meeting--
Himanshu: (perturbed) Yes I see!
Man: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--
Himanshu: (mad) Be quiet!
Man: But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major--
Himanshu: (very angry) BE QUIET! I *order* you to be quiet!
Woman: "Order", eh, 'oo does 'e think 'e is?
Himanshu: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Himanshu: You don't vote for kings!
Woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?
(holy music up)
Himanshu: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,
held aloft Immaculate Pandaren Broadaxe from the bosom of the water, signifying by
divine providence that I, Himanshu, was to carry Immaculate Pandaren Broadaxe. THAT is why
I am your king!
Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing Axes
is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical
Himanshu: (yelling) BE QUIET!
Man: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some
watery tart threw an axe at you!!
Himanshu: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut *UP*!
Man: I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some
moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Himanshu: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!
Man: Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Himanshu: SHUT UP!
Man: ( yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent
in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Himanshu: (letting go and walking away) Bloody PEASANT!
Man: Oh, what a giveaway! Did'j'hear that, did'j'hear that, eh? That's
what I'm all about! Did you see 'im repressing me? You saw it,
The King Himanshu and his Knights of the round table, along with their servants,
"ride" up to a castle. King Himanshu's servant, Xanathal, blows a horn.
An armor-clad face appears at the top of the rampart.
It speaks in an outrageous French accent.
Soldier: 'Allo! 'Oo is it ?
Himanshu: It is I, King Himanshu, and these are my Knights of the Round Table.
Whose castle is this?
S: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
H: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred
quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us
in our quest for the Holy Grail.
S: Well, I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen-- 'e's already got
one, you see?
Xanathal: He says they've already *got* one!
H: (confused) Are you *sure* he's got one?
S: Oh yes, it's ver' naahs.
(to the other soldiers:) I told 'em we've already *got* one!
H: (taken a bit off balance) Well... ah, um... Can we come up and have a look?
S: Of course not! You are Horde types.
H: Well, what are you then?
S: (Indignant) Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous
accent, you silly king?!
Frinkls: What are you doing in *Kalimindor*?
S: Mind your own business!
H: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
S: You don't frighten us, Horde pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a
silly person! Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Himanshu Keeeng"! You and
all your silly Horde Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!
(the soldier proceeds to bang on his helmet with his hands and stick out his
tongue at the knights, making strange noises.)
Strucks: What a strange person.
H: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--
S: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough
wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and
your father smelt of elderberries!
Xanathal: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
S: No!! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
H: Now this is your last chance! I've been more than reasonable....
S: (to four other soldiers, standing behind him on the rampart)
Fetchez la vache.
Other Soldier: qua?
S: Fetchez la vache!
(the other soldiers are seen leading a cow... mooing noises)
H: (continued) ...if you do not agree to my commands, than I shall--
(Boing! The cow goes flying through the air over the rampart...
H: J Christ!
(...and lands, amid great mooing, on one of the footmen. Various crying-outs
from Himanshu's party.)
H: (determined) Right!
(drawing sword) CHARGE!
Rest of Himanshu's Party: CHAAAARGE!
(As they run towards the French Castle, swords drawn, they are met by a huge
onslaught of live animals of all sizes, that come plummeting down from the
ramparts of the castle. Amid screams, they all turn back before even reaching
the castle walls, save Xanathal, who reaches the stone wall in time to give
it one stroke with his sword before retreating.)
Himanshu's party: (hastily retreating) Run away!
Xanathal: (as they hunker down behind a grassy knoll out of flying-animal's
reach of the castle) Fiends, I'll tear them apart!
Himanshu: No no, no!!
Strucks: (to Himanshu) Sir... I have a plan, sir.
There follows a long scene where the french soldier, stationed atop the
rampart, surveys the surrounding countryside and sees nothing, but hears
various sounds of construction (hammering, the felling of trees, chain saws
being operated) from the woods. Eventually, amid a great squeaking of wooden
wheels, a giant wooden rabbit is wheeled out of the forest by Himanshu's group.
They wheel it right up to the front gates of the French Castle and leave it
there, returning to their concealed spot behind the knoll to watch.
A minute later, the castle gate opens and a french soldier peeks out.
His head disappears and he can be heard speaking with the others.
Three soliders' heads appear around the end of the door and disappear again.
The three French Soldiers creep out and wheel the rabbit into the castle,
closing the gate behind them.
behind the knoll:
Himanshu: (to Xanathal) What happens now?
Xanathal: Well, now, uh, Strucks, Frinkls and I, uh, wait until nightfall,
and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by suprise.
Not only by suprise, but totally unarmed!
Himanshu: *Who* leaps out?
Xanathal: (pointing to each knight as he names him) Uh... Strucks, Frinkls,
and I.... uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and, uh....
Strucks: (pause) Oh... um, look, if we built this large wooden Badger....
Himanshu knocks him on the head.
Just then, the rabbit comes soaring over the castle wall. The party disbands
amid great shouts of "Run away, run away!"
we now need a hitler reacts video......hitler reacts to being zerged in wpvp or hitler reacts to being bluewalled(dang Russians!)
Just for you Arn
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