Honestly, this is no place for a post like this. It's not WoW related, and will most likely be deleted by an Admin in a few minutes, but if there's any way I could help, let me know.
You are dealing with issues of guilt and trauma. It is very important you know that this is a normal reaction. Also if you are in school, there is councilling available even at High School level. I strongly suggest you seek help.
It is all right to vent in here as far as I am concerned, but others might not agree. My prayers are with you and I hope you take my advice. It will take time for this to sink in and for you to actually find peace with it. But it will eventually. Best of luck to you and your family.
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