diablo related humor

Wizard
yo momma so fat she walk into town people yellin siege! break her
Yo momma so fat, they call her belly button the http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/echoing-fury
Love this thread :D Thank you Larry!

Yo momma's so fat her idea of a "successful flip" is when the guy comes to turn her over once a week.
Why did the hungry torso crawl across the road?
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Because he can't walk across! He has no legs, silly!
What do you call a wizard using a http://us.battle.net/d3/en/item/pirate-sword ?

>_>

...

<_<

An Arrrrchon.
________________________________________________
Diablo III MVP | Forever a Wizard
Archon Video Guide: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/9793089550
YouTube Channel: http://youtube.com/Jae7ch
Twitter: @Jaetch
Two diablos walk into a bar.

Jews own the bar.
Why did the skeleton walk across the crypt? To get to the other tomb.
Your wizard's cod canal is so hairy that a pack of burrowing leapers tried to make a home there. (They succeeded FYI.)
LMAO chang
Yo momma so fat she's stuck in a town portal
An archon wizard, a meteor wizard, and an SNS wizard are walking along the beach when they find a magic lamp. One of them rubs it and a genie appears. The genie says, "Since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."

The SNS wiz says, "Oooh oooh me first, me first. I want to be able to reset cooldowns when RoS comes out." "Done!" the genie exclaims as he turns the SNS wizard into a witch doctor.

Then the archon wiz chimes in and says, "Me next! ME NEXT! I want to keep the high mitigation I get from energy armor and perma-archon when RoS hits the block." The genie thinks for a moment, snaps his fingers, and turns the archon wiz into a monk.

"It's your turn, meteor wizard," speaks the genie in a powerful yet emotionless voice, "What is your wish?"

The meteor wiz looks up, "Huh? What were we talking about? I was making this cat meme on my phone about JellzRoc buying Hostess cupcakes from a pack of friendly colossal golgors...oh man, check this sh** out! See? The first cat represents Jelly's wizard wearing a tutu."

"Ugh, why'd it have to be FL0Maxx?" mutters the genie.

The meteor wiz continues, "And THIS cat--"

"Can we get back to the wish, please?" Pleads the genie.

"Okay," the meteor wiz replies, "I'd like to start my wish by quoting an essay by Samuel Gompers written near the dawn of the second industrial revolution. Eh hem--"

He is interrupted by the genie, "Consarn it! Just tell me your wish!"

"Alright! I would like better resource generation, awesome mit, crowd control, higher proc coefficients, better life on hit returns, lots and lots of EHP, aaaand a puppy."

"Here's a puppy. It's the spectral hound included with digital deluxe edition of RoS." Speaketh the genie. "Good thing you wished for a puppy or I would have had no choice but to bring back critical mass."
01/28/2014 11:05 AMPosted by ChangBooster
"Ugh, why'd it have to be FL0Maxx?"
AHAHAHAHA!!!

Let me take a swing at it:

A wizard is walking down the beach when he bumps into a genie lamp. As a side note, there needs to be some litigation introduced into Congress that deals with the increasing number of genie lamps washing up on shore lines. It's becoming an epidemic.

Anywho,

Dude bumps into a genie lamp. The genie >poofs< forth from the lamp and says, "OHHHHHH! I've been stuck in that bottle for ages. Thought I'd never get out! Oh I feel terrific!" He then looks over at the stunned wizard and smiles, "For you, my funny hat wearing friend, one wish! Anything you want!"

The wizard stutters and stammers, "R-r-r-really? Anything I want?"

The genie cocks an eyebrow at the apparent disbelief on the wizard's face and replies, "Yeah man. Anything. You stupid?"

The wizard walks in a circle for a few minutes before pulling a map of the Middle East from his robes. He presents it to the genie and with a clear voice asks:

"Can you bring peace to this part of the world?"

The genie scratches the back of his head and winces, "Ahhhhhh....I'm not...really...sure I can do that. They were fighting in that desert long before I was ever trapped in the bottle. Can you wish for something else? Something at least...possible?"

The wizard puts the map away and sits down. He ponders for a few moments. Suddenly, he jumps up, snaps his fingers, and says, "I got it! Can you make it so my class has all its skills balanced and usable come ROS?"

The genie stares at the wizard for a few moments before finally throwing his hands in the air and says,

"Let me see that map, again."
lol Chang!

I laughed, I cried...I'm sitting in a Robocop cosplay outfit, basting in my lime jello hot-tub, and wishing you were here.
HaHa. Nice one Melkor!

01/28/2014 11:25 AMPosted by FL0Maxx
I'm sitting in a Robocop cosplay outfit, basting in my lime jello hot-tub, and wishing you were here.

Ya know you can make lime jello in the hot-tubs at Red Roof Inn. Of course, you should probably go straight to a trained medical professional and get yourself checked out afterwards but w/e.
01/28/2014 11:55 AMPosted by ChangBooster
Ya know you can make lime jello in the hot-tubs at Red Roof Inn. Of course, you should probably go straight to a trained medical professional and get yourself checked out afterwards but w/e


+1

You might wanna get yourself checked out before things start fallin off on a wizard...you feel me?
01/28/2014 12:13 PMPosted by Melkor
You might wanna get yourself checked out before things start fallin off on a wizard...you feel me?


It's my attempt to empathize with Emil M. Antonowsky and his gruesome death a'la toxic waste bath. Can a Christ-like figure feel for one whose sinister life-charades, help lead to the current existential condition of becoming/being a cyborg that Murphy finds himself in?
Now stop disturbing me CB/Melkor, as I need to get back into the Robo-zone.
^ I'm not picturing you say that in a bath tub cuz, I'm never gonna picture you in a bathtub.

I am thinking of you saying that in a straight jacket. You may still wear the robo-cop outfit.
New robocop or old robocop because if it's new robocop then you're a sick demented perv
01/28/2014 12:43 PMPosted by Melkor
You may still wear the robo-cop outfit.


:)

01/28/2014 12:48 PMPosted by JellzRoc
New robocop or old robocop because if it's new robocop then you're a sick demented perv


Old Robocop!

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