Story time with Da Melk

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Update 3/31/15 -

After doing some thinking, I have decided to continue this story on my blog on the Vizjerei Clan website. If you have any interest in following the fantastic adventures of the OGs, I recommend you go here to keep up with it if you're interested :):

I've shortened the chapters here so they are easy for you to preview. Check out the blog for the full versions of each one.

Honestly, the only reason I keep writing these things is because I enjoy it and because so many of you have encouraged me to continue. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support and I will pump these suckers out as best I can for as long as I can!

Lotsa love,


Chapter 1 - Long Live the OG
Chapter 2 - The Three Wizarteers
Chapter 3 - Tonight, We Dine on Cat
Chapter 4 - The Great Sleet Storm of Malakai
Chapter 5 - A Brief History Lesson for Spektr
Chapter 6 - Age Before JellzRoc
Chapter 7 - Dealing With Boozor
Chapter 8 - Sniff, Sniff
Chapter 9 - ?????

Chapter 1 - Long Live the OG

The Wizard Forum lay empty for the moment, a brief happenstance when the comings and goings of the modern Wizards happen to leave Her with no occupancy.

The heavy wooden door creaked open slowly, wafting the cold dark air from the outward-laid whereabouts, inwards.

Alongside the cold draft, a hunched over figure stepped in. At his side, attached to his belt, an old, worn magical wand, clearly beaten from use, with a golden glow atop its hilt. In his left hand, a similarly glowing yellow orb, weakly illuminating the corridor every few seconds, as if it labored in breath as much as the old man.

The man turned his head towards a covered plaque, the covering a pale grey, ancient in its own right. He took one step towards it laboriously.

At the other end of the corridor, a door burst open, and two spry young Wizards gingerly walked in. One brandished a fire-emitting mace, brazenly thrown over one shoulder. The other carried a thin wand, with a snake wrapped tightly around its shaft. They quickly noticed the old man. One turned towards the other and whispered,

"Yo peep this Old Geyser, Spektr."

Spektr moved his hand to his lips, advising the first Wizard to silence. He then moved his lips, mouthing the words,

'Watch this.' He smiled...
(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 2 - The Three Wizarteers

"...lilspark, DommonKassui, Veda, and Yodatoy, EmmettOtter, Ossian, Un1ver5e and Void.."

The old man finished the last name on the list and chuckled to himself, murmering, 'that Void' twice before brushing dust from the inset lettering on the plaque with great detailed purpose, much as a loved one will wipe the weather from a gravestone of one of the Lost.

"Someone needs to keep up on the maintenance of this Plaque," he said, "It seems as if it has lost its stickiness on the backing too...Probably not up to date. Alas the Forum requires information to be up to date. I'm thankful there are still those who even remember..."

"Yo! Old Geyser!"

A gassed up Spektr returned to the Forum, this time, with a host of Generatrolls at his side. One of them spit on the floor as he looked at the old man with contempt. The old man looked to the defiled spot on the floor and grimaced. He coughed.

"I saiiidddddd, Yo, Old GEYSER!" The Generatroll laughed to his own delight, receiving several jabs in his shoulder from his fellow comrades, who seemed overly impressed with what could only be described as a paltry insult.

"Tell me," the old man whispered, "Spektr. Will you allow this filth to defile these Hallowed Halls with their insolence and lack of respect?" The man had whispered, but somehow, Spektr's ears perked, despite being over 100 yards away. Spektr turned towards the offender.

(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 3 - Tonight, We Dine on Cat

Two Demon Huntresses stepped forward, flanking the lead Barbarian Scum on either side.

"He's alone, boss. Don't let him intimidate you. There is nothing to fear.."

Boss turned to the DH and shot a menacing, angry look, anger flashing across his face. He roared, and picked up the Huntress by her throat.

"I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING!" He cast her towards the nearest pillar, her body smashing the stone onto the floor a bit as her armored body impacted it. The stone, quickly returned to its previous position, seamlessly resealing itself. At the base of all pillars in this room, a short note was etched into their base stone, "Kulle Co. & Associates. Patents Pending"

The Barbarian raised his Mighty Weapon above his head, clearly fueled by his newly-found Fury, and inhaled deeply through his nostrils, priming his legs as if they were springs, coiling them deeper and deeper towards the floor. The floor groaned and split with pain, and the eyes of the Barbarian mirrored the ferocity of all of his ancestry. His eyes burst into flames, and as if by some great illusion, he seemed to multiply. Three Barbarian stepped forward from within the Original, Boss, and he acknowledged them by speaking their names.

"Madawc! Talic! Korlic! Help me honor our heritage by ridding this room of this Purple Juice loving Sorceror!"

The old man at the other end of the Hall, now standing tall and appearing far less frail, did have the semblance of Fear splashed across his face. He stepped backwards towards the door of the great Forum, and knocked.

The door once again creaked open.

Three Wizards walked in and stood alongside the Old Man. One of them peered across the floor and saw the body of the Huntress lying in ruin aside the Pillar. He looked at the Old Man and asked,

"Female?" Old Man simply shrugged.

"European?" He persisted.

"I have no idea, Master Yoda."

The second Wizard carried a large Two-Handed Axe. Atop the Axe, a red trapezoidal design was lain out, with a skull in its center. He looked at Old Man and Yoda and nodded.

"Malakai," Old Man asked, "how will you sustain?"

Malakai scoffed at the question and simply tapped his Wizard hat with one finger, uttering, "Legacy, Melk. Legacy."


The third Wizard stood leaning against the nearby wall, picking his teeth clean. There might have been fur on the floor.

"Dude...Void, what the hell were you eating?"

Void glanced at Old Man and smirked. He then cast his robe to the floor, brandishing armor purely Golden in color. His helm, also gold. As a matter of fact, his wand was similar to Old Man's, except the shaft and hilt were also completely golden.

"Void. That's straight obnoxious."
(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 4 - The Great Sleet Storm of Malakai

Yodatoy's eyebrows raised. He looked at the angry mob across the room, and then back at Void, and then the mob, and again, Void. He shook his head.

"I'm a very sensitive guy. I can't."

Void laughed, "This Yoda."

Madawc stepped forward. He pulled a One Handed Axe from his belt. His gaze lay fixed on Malakai's hat. Malakai's eyes drifted upwards as if he too espied his own cap. He reached up towards it with both hands and pulled it down a bit.

"I don't think that guy likes me, guys."

"No," Old Man said, "I don't think he does."

"Pity," Malakai chuckled, and drew his Skorn from his back, "I always disliked that one the least."

Madawc began a light dodge towards the center of the Forum, now turned Arena. As he ran, so did Malakai, with each step forward shortening the distance between them.

Suddenly, without hint or preview, Madawc skid to a halt. With no further warning, he wound his arm up like a catapult, and heaved an axe directly at a still advancing Malakai.

Malakai quickly stopped, and teleported...sideways. Upon arriving from his teleport, all were surprised to see fact, Malakai had somehow - during his trip through the ether no doubt - returned his weapon to its holster on his back! Old Man, Void and Yoda gasped in shock. To lay down one's weapon in the heat of battle? Surely there must be an explanation for such reckless abandon?

Malakai braced himself to the ground, and pushed his hand outwards, as if holding back some impending danger. Madawc's axe was off its course now. It would fly on the wings of Heaven, past Malakai's original position.

But that predictable course, did not come to pass.
(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 5 - A Brief History Lesson for Spektr

Spektr was the first to speak.

"What enemy?"

"No, Spektr," Void grimaced, "not 'Enemy'". He turned his back to the four OGs and sighed. He then spun around and looked at TekkZero.

"Didn't we run that guy out of town? No one has heard from him in a long time. I just assumed he was no longer of any concern. I guess I was wrong."

TekkZero chuckled. "Oh, by himself, he is of no concern. But he has allied with the 2 Greatest Forum Plagues of all time. And THAT has made him powerful.

Spektr looked even more confused. He scratched his head, and let out a frustrating gasp.

Old Man smiled at Spektr, "You don't know your Forum History, do you?" Spektr looked to the ground and sheepishly shook his head. Old Man looked at the OGs.

"I think it would be wise if we brushed up, ourselves, old friends. Besides. You know I love to hear myself talk." Old Man drew his Chantodo's Will from his belt, and whisked it in a quick circle off to the side.

Two purple serpents, in the exact same hue as TekkZero's Starpact, slowly emerged from the ground, several feet apart. Their tails lay buried in the floor. They slithered towards each other, before intertwining. When the elaborate conjuration had completed, a large sitting bench remained, with the heads of the Serpents serving as arm rests.

"Show off", Malakai jabbed, before walking over and taking a seat on Old Man's magical bench. The others sat down as well. Spektr did not. Old Man then conjured another similarly styled seat for himself, and sat down across from them. He looked at Spektr, who was now eyeballing the door to the Forum. He was still pretty scared. He wanted to leave.

"Stay awhile, and listen," Old Man urged, gesturing Spektr towards the remaining seat at the end of the bench. Spektr obliged.
(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 6 - Age Before JellzRoc

"I'm not going in there, Melk."

"Why do you get to just say that, JellzRoc?"

"Because. I'm older than you."

"I don't see how that has any relevance here."

"I do."

A young Melkor and a young JellzRoc stood, facing a large stone door, cut right into the side of a Mountain. Even though the peak of the Arreat Crater sat several hundred feet above them, they themselves were nevertheless, several hundred feet from the ground. Melkor looked down in defiance. JellzRoc did the same. They continued their debate.

"You know I don't like Barbarians, Melk. This Mount Arreat or used to be like, their symbol of hope, or something like that. There's probably all kinds of Barbarian stuff in there. I'm not going in."

Melkor cocked an eyebrow and drew his wand. It glowed vibrantly as if it were brand new, "You do realize that I am the poster-child for Barbarian hate, right? Whatever you just said, means nothing in the eyes of our Forum. I'm literally the most Anti-Barbarian Wizard in Sanctuary."

JellzRoc shrugged, "Well then maybe you shouldn't have come."

Melkor snapped, "You BEGGED me to come."

"Open the door."

Melkor shook his head, rolled his eyes, and squared off with the door. He raised his wand in his right hand, and his orb in his left, and closed his eyes. The half-mountain trembled. JellzRoc smacked Melkor in the back of his head.

"Be careful, man. This place is unstable enough as it is."

Melkor slowly turned and looked at his friend with pursed lips and a face full of disapproval. He spat, "And hitting a wizard in the back of the head while he performs a forced entry spell ensures this stability? Don't do that again."

"Alright, alright. Hurry up."

Melkor faced the door once more and closed his eyes. The mountain again groaned with trepidation. After a few moments, a dusty gas emitted from the seams of the mark-less door, and it swung open a bit. JellzRoc smiled and reached for it. While this door undoubtedly would weigh thousands of pounds, JellzRoc seemed to have no trouble moving it. He laughed.

"Barbarian magic. Imagine like, they're not as strong as they appear to be? They just make everything that's supposed to be super heavy become really light? Wouldn't that be something..."

Melkor looked over at JellzRoc with squinted eyes, " were dropped on your head as a child, weren't you?"

JellzRoc smiled,"I will neither confirm nor deny that." He stepped inside. Melkor followed him.

Inside the broken mountain, Melkor's wand filled the darkness with a dim yellow hue.

"What is that?" he asked, cutting his eyes at two large bush-like structures up ahead, "Is that? Oh, come on."

Before Melk could warn his friend, JellzRoc sneezed.

Instantly, the structures began to move in place, twisting and turning as if they were alive. A dozen bat like creatures swarmed from them , a noxious green gas emitting from their bodies as they fought to find their bearings in their now strangely-lit home. JellzRoc looked at Melkor.

"Plague Nests," they both said.
(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 7 - Dealing With Boozor

Malakai, TekkZero, Yodatoy, Void, Old Man, and Spektr found themselves standing outside a nicely kept wooden cabin on the far outskirts of Tristram the next morning. A small mailbox with the number #1433 was carefully attached to a post at the end of a stone path near the Road. The smell of Maple filled the air as a stone chimney on the back of the house slowly puffed white smoke upwards towards the Heavens. A quaint, well kept garden sat off to the side of the home, and the growing of mixed herbs put forth its own pleasant aroma. Above the front door, a wooden engraved sign was fastened.

"Boozficient Goods - Serving the Community Since May 2012"

Old Man looked at Spektr, and spoke sternly.

"This is the House of Boozor. You would be wise to not mention several things while inside. He has many precious goods in there. Asking him where and how he procured them is rude. Asking him how much each and every piece costs is rude. Asking him anything about how he made his fortune is rude. Do you understand?"

Spektr scratched the back of his head, "Can I ask him how he-"

"-No," Malakai interjected, as he stepped up the small porch and rapped on the door.

There was no answer.

"Crap," Void said, "Melk, why don't you conjure up one of those benches you made back in the Forum? My feet are killing me."

"You're the one who walks around completely encased in Gold Armor, Void. You do it to yourself."

Void sighed, and plopped down on Boozor's porch next to an already seated Yodatoy. The steps groaned.

The front door creaked open, and a pointy wizard hat emerged. It turned upwards, revealing the smiling face of the infamous Boozor. He opened the door fully and greeted the OGs.
(Chapter continued on clan site...)

Chapter 8 - Sniff, Sniff

JellzRoc reached the base of the Arreat Crater. He was filthy, covered head to toe in dirt, dust, and soot. He brushed himself off as best he could and opened his satchel, hanging from his shoulder. He couldn't shake the images from his mind from a few hours prior.

'This is not Goodbye forever, my friend.'

JellzRoc's eyes watered a bit as he fumbled through his belongings. He pulled his Mirrorball from his satchel, and saw the reflection of his own weathered face in it. He paused, his eyes watering a bit as he tried to push the recent tragedy from his mind. But it was to no avail. He looked up at the Arreat Crater.

"I should go get help, and go get the Melk out of there," JellzRoc said aloud, to himself, "Of course, I have no idea which direction to go."

Nevertheless, JellzRoc set out heading South, hoping to intersect with the great Bastion Keep. To the best of his knowledge, there would be a handful of OG's there, and they would surely muster their forces to reclaim the Crater and save their friend. Despite this grand plan, JellzRoc could not deny that he feared that Melkor was in fact, dead. He pressed on.

For three days, JellzRoc traveled South in a zig-zag path, caused by the treacherous terrain, and the fact that this dude had a considerable love of Scotch and he was usually drunk. He considered calling down an Ice Meteor to chip off a few pieces for his beverage, but thought better of it.

"I should have brought more (gulp) food (gulp)," he said on the second day. Despite being essentially inebriated for most of the trip, it was not until the 3rd evening that he ran into any trouble.

As JellzRoc maneuvered his way through a small forest that rested a handful of leagues north of Bastion Keep, he came upon a pack of 10 to 12 Demon Troopers, clumsily throwing entire trees into a recklessly built campfire. They stood about 9 feet tall, these Demons. There forms were a cross between an Orc and a Troll and they were Blue and Black in color. Though they were basically animals, they did seem to have enough sense to cover their most primal bodies with rags and torn cloth. They spoke to one another, and while words in English could be discerned, they mostly just grunted and moaned senselessly.

Terrifying and smelling of awfulness, the Demon Troopers seemed nevertheless in a merry mood. There seemed to be a small cart turned on its side nearby, and several corpses were strewn about it - freshly killed it seemed. JellzRoc crept around the outskirts of their encampment. Though he had been powerless to save his friend, JellzRoc abhorred all things Evil, and sought for the greatest vantage point to assault his newly found foes. He slowly drew his Echoing Fury from his belt while standing behind a tight thicket of young Oaks. He looked up towards the Heavens, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

*sniff sniff sn-sn-sniff*

JellzRoc opened his eyes and looked down at a most peculiar sight. A small dog - a Pug, with glowing red eyes and a collar make from chicken bones, was sniffling at his ankle. Despite its bizarre appearance, JellzRoc did not feel threatened. He snapped at the Pug, in a rushed whisper,

"Yo get the hell away from me, dog."
(Chapter continued on clan site...)
To Be Continued
Hmm .... nice one Melk!

Waiting impatiently for the rest of the story :)

Is there anything this man cannot do?
03/13/2015 09:25 AMPosted by mzy
Is there anything this man cannot do?

Yes ...

... Hate us :)
is there a follow button somewhere? I think we need one..

what a story...
03/13/2015 09:25 AMPosted by mzy
Is there anything this man cannot do?

which man?

Old Man?

by the way, I don't want the story to end. continue!

Forum needs this. All those lurkers are waiting for MORE.
Are you the old man Melk?
03/13/2015 10:52 AMPosted by Boozor
Are you the old man Melk?

It's Ulmo of course.
nicely done Melkor
Need one line version
I need MOAR story!!! How will I sleep at night with all of the lingering suspense...
I quoted the "to be continued part" and started typing.

Then I deleted the two sentences and threw my hands up in the air.

I don't have the time to write right now.

Carry on.
Diablo III MVP | Forever a Wizard
YouTube Channel:
Twitter: @Jaetch | Clan Page:
03/13/2015 09:01 AMPosted by Melkor
To be continued...

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5


Man, I love those kind of story.
did someone summon me?
03/13/2015 01:28 PMPosted by Void
did someone summon me?

Melk make it more social and connected to this community.



Void THE KING OF SMALL CAN BE GOOD (dagger I ment).


And others!

Make us big!
Daily chapters, please!

(P.S. - you're really good at this stuff, keep it up, man.)
03/13/2015 02:45 PMPosted by RobertVarga
Melk make it more social and connected to this community.



Void THE KING OF SMALL CAN BE GOOD (dagger I ment).


And others!

Make us big!

Spektr should be called Leader of the False Prophets
Aw3som0 should be The Banned
Yoda should be Lord of the Trolls or Coward of the SO-aggro or Duke of the Euros (I would go on but it's too easy lol)
Jenny should be Queen of Wishful Thinking

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