The Steven VS Josh Dilemma in Diablo3

General Discussion
In regards to those who are not aware, Steven Escabados and Josh Delfosse are developers who are in the core workings of both Diablo:Immortal and Diablo 4. Not only have the higher ups placed almost all authority in regards to whom shall rule over the servers that are D3, but also they have been competing for the position of Sole Developer Team Leader for the past several months.

Steven Escabados showed promise even as a young boy, he would get out his Link'n'Logs and create diverse pathing methodology and intertwine the world of Teletubbies into his maps which would later come to form the levels we now play in Diablo 3. Not beside the point, Steven also created a non-hypocritical website in regards to the vastly superior Protoss vs Draenei debate which all but ended the stalemate that had lasted long into the millennium.

On the other hand we have Josh Delfosse, the ever bungling and butt kissing steward of the realm. At a young age, Josh would stack his french fries in patterns similar to those of the Wiccan Flower Worship Festival and not only conduct such affairs but even contributed his monthly allowance to the "Bring Home the Banelings" fund on gokickfundme. In regards to his mental characteristics, Josh was both ignominious and disheartened over the collapse of the one world system but vowed to bring peace to the realms of sanctuary since around the age of 12.

When they met, it may as well been that Davinci and Michaelangelo teamed up to create the ironically sated masterpiece known as "Dey Took Er Jerbs". Within the first seconds of the introductory handshake, both men childs realized they have met their nemesis and fellow rat race member in the developing studios of Blizzard. From the inception of the alliance between the two, they began to play Evony on a global scale.

By back pathing their IP addresses to such places as Istanbul and Pakistan. They were able to create an unstoppable creeping menace that soon infliced severage noob ownage on the entire Server64 in Evony's seventh season. Not only was this Evony ownage a sign of things to come, the inevitable shattering of their fragile alliance was upon us as a fateful night in Peru (funded by the higher ups) led to an all out chasm between the two evony empires.

Once peaceful farmlands erupted into archer fire as both developers fought for sole reign of the Diablo:immortal Chinese Money Farm Market. As well as the fact that Josh had snubbed Steven by calling his recent poetry in regards to the grotesques in which this is an outcropping:

Beautiful Grotesques so nice and big
Beautiful Grotesques so slender and bright
Ugly Grotesques so fat like a pig
Ugly Grotesques 100 million more to kill tonight

Not only did Josh slam stevens poetry on yelp and gofundme, but he also went so far as to call his birth mother and tell her the following," From a young age your son began to dabble into the magicks of the upper realms, and will thenceforth be dubbed Sir Dorozzio of the Realm XVII"

After the restraining order was in effect, Josh even went so far as to show up at Steven's son's barmitzvah wearing a shirt in which the title read:

Diablo Immortal will make me great monies
Diablo Immortal will get my asian bunnies
Diablo Immortal the greatest thumb exercise of them all
Diablo Immortal Steven's face shows of downfall

Diablo Immortal will stand so proud and rough
Diablo Immortal will never have an Auction House
Diablo Immortal long live the cheeto god king
Diablo Immortal gl asia in regards to ping

Not only did this frustrate Steven to no end, as the sole proprietor of any and all snack foods at the barmitzvah, but also it will near time for Steven's Wife Gloria to give birth to their ninth child (they were highschool sweethearts) At the time of conception. Josh was not to be outdone as he surely felt the higher ups leaning towards Steven's idea of a Diablo 4 Golden Age in which every pubescent warrior struggling with addiction of the worst kind, would find peace and comfort in the endless slaying of monsters that are either way too easy or one shot you with a glance.

In summary, Steven will have to make quite a show at the upcoming blizzcon event podcast "Your Murloc And You" as well as pull the weight in regards to the Blizzard Developers Team Volleyball Tournament as each bump set spike will be accompanied by a rough retort from Josh about how Diablo:Immortal will forever place him in a new echelon in regards to the desires of the all powerful higher ups.

Not only will this lead to end to hostilities between the warring clans of Steven and Josh, but also will ensure increased birth rates for both tribes as the koolaid of zultan kule is shared openly between the masses.

TL;DR Steven snubbed Josh by saying that Diablo Immortal is nothing more than a passive aggressive way to make China kneel before the release of Evony 3
What the hell did I just read?
They should add this to the lore books..
Game of Corner Office??
For starters Diablo 4 hasn't been announced yet so it might as well not exist. Which makes all this psychodribble 110% pointless.

Besides, as you said yourself, they are "developers" - not game directors or anyone in charge. Which means they just implement what they're told to implement, so who they are on the inside makes no difference.

Kids, don't do drugs...
I didn't read all but still funny jabs. Kinda overdaring at some points but eh... I'll give it a 4/5.

Join the Conversation

Return to Forum