If your Hero was a Monster, what affixes ...?

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Reflect damage, frozen, desecrator, illusionist or extra health
Vortex, Jailer, Frozen, Arcane.

In 1.01 I prob would've been horde illusionist reflect damage jailer. Just to piss people off.
my monster mode would be:

teleport, shielding, more life, fast

i play a special kind of monster while changing in monster mode..... treasure goblin!:P
Extra health Reflect Damage Shielding Nightmare.

Now that would be irritating and time consuming to kill.
If my hero were a monster, I think she'd probably crave the following affixes:

Vortex, Teleporter, Illusionist, Reflects Damage


except vortex you CAN do all of the above
wizzard with thorns XDDDDDDDDDDDD

see how much you know your won game
I think I'd feel safest with:
Knockback -> Horde -> Mortar -> Jailer

Raining death from afar. :)
Barbaria with Illusionist, Arcane, Descecrator, Fast
Frozen, Molten, Horde, Vortex
Shielding
immune to physical, iron skin, extra fast, cold enchanted
vortex, extra health, fire chains, teleport
Illusionist
Horde
Reflect Damage
Jailer
With this build:

http://us.battle.net/d3/en/calculator/barbarian#aeYgTi!VSZ!cZccac

You can get:

Knockback
Molten
Reflects Damage
Shielding
Nightmarish
Vampiric
Frozen
Fast
Jamacia-
Extra Health, Health Link, Vampiric, Horde
GG
With my current main (DH) and build:

Knockback, Nightmarish, Illusionist, whatever

This combination would allow me to effectively flood a battlefield with Ball Lightning bolts and turret shots that have an absurdly high probability of cc effects. This combined with Illusionist would render the real me virtually unassailable by melee and considerably less vulnerable to ranged. The last affix could be whatever, Horde, Reflect Damage, Vampiric, Jailer, possibly Mortar, Teleporter or even Missile Dampening, any of these would be fine.

Edit: After further consideration, I think I would want Jailer as my final affix, a more reliable cc effect is a nice bonus ability on top of all the other bits.

Also, just a thought but... Arena-style battles with normalized gear but the player's choice of monster affixes? That would make for some really interesting PvP while also solving the fundamental problem of arena battles being decided by gear level over skill level and strategy.
I would say, fast, teleport, extra health and molten

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