Which monster affix would you want in real life?

Blizzard Archive
guys guys guys...... blizzard also wants to know

If you could put any kind of Diablo 3 design on the back of your stroller,baby diaper, or nookie; WHAT WOULD IT BE?!?!?!?!?

Nothing. I would never remove the horde symbol. =p
Here's a list of the monster affixes – unique monster powers – in Diablo III for you to pour over and consider.
Don't you mean "pore over"? Forum users will pour our anguish all over this thread, but I don't see why we'd want to pour over the blog post.

Most affixes are for combat. Since I do not engage in combat in real life, that would render almost all of them useless. Some exceptions:

Teleporter: this could be useful if I wanted to start a life of crime. Speed up movement a bit, although the line of sight issue would be somewhat limiting.

Illusionist: life of crime again. Steal something and leave the four copies to take the rap. Might be useful to pretend to be working too. Can they actually interact with the environment? Or are they just visual artifacts? If they could interact with the environment, I'd set them to do chores.

Fast: this seems more generally applicable than Teleporter. I could get more done during the day. Just think of how much more Diablo I could play. Would I sleep quicker too?

Horde: chores. Definitely chores. I've always wanted minions of my own but never been able to afford them.

Would be great for pulling in women from across a room or across the street :-)
Already got one: Desecrator
1, teleport
2/3/4, shielding / extra health / fast

Teleport was my favorite skill in d2


I'd like this :). (both for me IRL, and my wizard)
I already have affixes in real life: Handsome, Charming, Gallant, Sensitive

Ladies... *wink wink*
i'd like a shield
Waller, that sure would be funny as hell!

I hate getting hurt. lol
no brainer!!!!! teleport!!!! oh wait walling sounds cool also!!!!!

spam Votex the girl i wanted for so long so that she cant run anway from me X)
06/27/2013 05:03 PMPosted by Chide
Vampiric....because vampires.

Vampires suck. Figuratively and literally.
Probably extra health, then I would go stand in traffic on the highway and laugh at everyone.
arcane sentries could sure clear up traffic jams.
07/02/2013 08:05 AMPosted by Foubertx
Can't help but laugh, there are thousands of issues within this game (rubberbanding, server lag, auction house, botting, duping.) and they sticky a thread like this. Clearly they don't take this game seriously, maybe that's why it takes them 6 hours to do maintenance every Tuesday. I am almost positive that when there is "server maintenance", all the employees sit in a circle and think of useless crap like this.

How about you lighten up, and have some fun. No one likes a Debbie Downer :)

I think I would take Teleport, it's just so convenient.
pretty sure electrified. although anyone who knows colonel volgin from metal gear solid 3 can see why this would be a bad idea :P.

or fast....you know...for the ladies
#1. pre 1.06 Reflect Damage

A close 2nd would be Health Link, so all my allies can share my pain.

Old RD+HL = Never say die

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