And before you ask: Yes, I was crying when I wrote this.

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As someone who played competitive traditional sports for most of my life I always show respect to my team and the enemy, and I believe this game would be a lot better, if people stopped being so rude to each other
02/16/2018 02:33 AMPosted by MrCat
02/16/2018 01:46 AMPosted by RichC
it shows real maturity and security in oneself to be kind to anonymous strangers.

I don't think that typing "gg" every time you lose is in any way means being mature. The only thing you show when you do that is that you're too dependent on society's opinion. "I didn't really enjoy being beaten to a pulp, but I have to say that I enjoyed that because otherwise everyone will think I'm a bad person!"
Being mature means being honest with yourself. It's okay to think that this match was bad. It's okay to think that your teammates are potatoes when they do absolutely nothing useful and shoot into Genji's Deflect or something. It's okay to be mad, or sad, or angry.
On other hand, being rude to everyone else is not okay. So one must learn to keep his emotions in control and stop flaming everyone.
But I guess it's much easier to hide behind this false "sportsmanship" and "niceness" and not-so-subtly blame everyone else for being toxic.


I don't say "gg" in about 90% of my matches. That said, those who regularly run into me would probably say I'm a pretty chill person despite how twitchy my playstyle is.

I like to go into every match with a positive outlook. Even when I'm singled out at the start of the game for my playtime or hero choices, I do my best to remain unaffected. I'm just here to play.

I know how ugly competitive games can get. I've been playing them for nearly two decades. That doesn't mean I have to give in to the ugliness inside me when I have a bad match. Lashing out like that is just a way to grab onto a superficial form of control by hurting someone else, but you've lost control of yourself.

The best way to have a good match (and in my opinion, a good life) is to understand that you can't control the outcome. You can't control other people. What is, is what will be.

What you can control is your reaction, your effort, your emotions, your conduct. You don't have to suck someone's toes to set a positive tone. Even a lost match is a match I can learn from, so I appreciate it as such.

That doesn't mean I have to say "gg." I will if I feel like it was, and then it's on to the next round.
02/15/2018 04:34 PMPosted by alfislegend
Why you have to be mad, it's just game


Game is entertainment. If you are tired you play games to calm down. In this time i pick whatever hero i want and go QP. But i can't relax. Because somebody will cry in chat about "meta" and "team comp" and describe object forms that we suck. It's painful. If life is painful, why should i play painful games?
The only thing on here that relates to me is GG after a game, and I don't say that even if I wn
02/15/2018 04:33 PMPosted by Gyakusetsu
I think you need a break from the Internet.


This. You need a break. In a game with millions of humans playing with 10 billion possible personalities at any given time... You will never have consistently nice gametalk. In every sport it's pretty nasty and intense. I'm not saying it's right, it's not. Its disgusting, but sadly you need thicker skin to be in these competitive environment.

But reading your post, please take a break. It also helps to play some games with text and voice muted. Not the best way to play a team game, but your stress levels might be managed better by remembering why you enjoy the game.
I'm really sorry for you, CelesteShep. I hope you get better teammates, all of you guys actually.

I feel pretty much the same. Yesterday I almost had a breakdown because people kept blaming me for the losses and were salty, rude and unrespectful to me.

I enjoyed playing overwatch at first because it was possible for people who had no FPS ability (read me, cause i've never played a FPS game at first), but I lost almost all my interest on the game because of this situations where people are unkind for you for no reason.

I started playing overwatch on season 5 and since then I was always a Mercy Main, cause I can not aim and I thought the hero was so fun to play. She was in a good position until the last nerf, now people will blame me for every loss.

Yesterday 3 players started throwing and jumping off the map after we lost first point of Lijiyang Tower. I was doing literally all I could, since I was the only plat between diamonds and masters. I felt so bad when someone asked my duo "Is your friend a non-skilled mercy main only? Can't he play something useful?" as if I was too stupid to even hear what they were talking.

Sorry I just had to put it out too. I'm glad you made a space so we I could share it.

This non-meta hate has to stop. Actually this hate has to stop.
02/16/2018 01:34 AMPosted by Endlave


To everyone coming on here calling me a crybaby: Yeah. Yeah I am. If wanting people to be good an kind to one another and being hurt when that doesn't happen makes me a crybaby then YES, I am a CRYBABY. I'd rather be a crybaby than some edgelord any day.

Just be kind to people. Is that so hard?

Stop being ugly. Just stop. I can't take it anymore.


The feels when OP is being too good for this harsh, cold world. I didn't think there still are people as precious around.

Posts like this make me wonder when exactly it has been that I have become so cold and uncaring. The guy who would see misery and just turn around because it became mundane to him.

It used to be different.


It sucks but it's called growing up. The real world is a harsh, cold place and no one is here to hold your hand. Truly a dog eat dog world.
I totally support you, i play on the Ps4 so i haven't found many people that are toxic except for a few, still i think people needs to stop being toxic and mean to each other.
Last night I was playing comp with friends and we all went on a loosing streak. Each game we always had a someone toxic and every other game someone got upset and ended up throwing. We took a break and went back to it, it was the same stuff. I was in a good mood from real life things and I do enjoy playing with most friends, I do hate the fact my SR got low from it but I did my best to just enjoy it.
02/15/2018 04:37 PMPosted by AwesomeGeese
Every community has its toxic players, online pvp is usually the worst for that. Why is anyone surprised, especially being a team focused game.


No one is surprised by it. But the fact is, it's not okay. There is no reason for it, and there is no reason people can't just be kind to one another and foster a friendly environment that we can all grow in. It makes your day better. It makes other people's day better.

You know why every community has its toxic players? Because people like you accept it. Because people like you adopt the attitude of "That's how it is." It. Does. Not. Have. To. Be. I'm not saying that everyone needs to band together and give those toxic players a verbal or physical thrashing. I'm saying stop accepting it as the norm, or as okay. Stop defending these actions as "harmless." Even if they are "harmless," toxic behavior is poor behavior. Instead, agree that people should stop doing it, and do your own part of not being toxic. That's all I'm saying.

@Celesteshep, I'm with you 100%. It pains me to see people mistreat each other so. The whole world would be a better place with just a little more kindness in it. Just hold on to your values and your hope because you are not alone. I'm a crybaby with you. :)
02/16/2018 01:34 AMPosted by Endlave
...

The feels when OP is being too good for this harsh, cold world. I didn't think there still are people as precious around.

Posts like this make me wonder when exactly it has been that I have become so cold and uncaring. The guy who would see misery and just turn around because it became mundane to him.

It used to be different.


It sucks but it's called growing up. The real world is a harsh, cold place and no one is here to hold your hand. Truly a dog eat dog world.


No. The world CAN be a harsh cold place. But it can also be a wonderful place where people do care about each other. Yeah there is a lot of bad in out world, but there is a lot of good too. You just have to be willing to see it.
Lol. Crying over a video game where you have complete control over choosing to interact with other players or not.

God my dad would have tanned my hide for acting like that.
02/16/2018 10:01 AMPosted by Cheat2Win
Lol. Crying over a video game where you have complete control over choosing to interact with other players or not.

God my dad would have tanned my hide for acting like that.


Wow you're so right, being a jerk to people b/c you're losing a video game makes you super tough, just like being beaten by your dad made you tough. Please tell me more.
You have good intentions OP, but you also come off to me as someone who's ignorant of the world.

You need to stop worrying about others.
02/16/2018 12:16 PMPosted by Lucky
02/16/2018 10:01 AMPosted by Cheat2Win
Lol. Crying over a video game where you have complete control over choosing to interact with other players or not.

God my dad would have tanned my hide for acting like that.


Wow you're so right, being a jerk to people b/c you're losing a video game makes you super tough, just like being beaten by your dad made you tough. Please tell me more.


Well, ya see, if a person learns that crying will summon help, then why would they learn to fix it on their own? They just have to cry and someone else will come along and fix it.

Alternatively, one could learn to solve problems on their own. This is called independence.

So a person either learns to deal with their issues on their own, or they learn how to summon help.

Obviously not all people are alike. Some people are capable of being independent -- some simply aren't. But you'll never know until you try!
I'm not gonna lie, sometimes when people are being super toxic it gets to me. Most of the time I don't really care, even laugh it off, but some days it's just too much. I know how you feel, there's no shame in feeling down about it.
02/16/2018 12:27 PMPosted by SpliffyMcGee
Well, ya see, if a person learns that crying will summon help, then why would they learn to fix it on their own? They just have to cry and someone else will come along and fix it.

Alternatively, one could learn to solve problems on their own. This is called independence.

So a person either learns to deal with their issues on their own, or they learn how to summon help.

Obviously not all people are alike. Some people are capable of being independent -- some simply aren't. But you'll never know until you try!


This is conflating independence with actually having emotions if someone is terrible to you. Everyone has emotions they are unavoidable and being in denial about them makes you less honest with yourself. It should be obvious lying to yourself about having emotions creates more problems than it will ever solve. If you aren't honest with yourself you can't grow, and you can't realize the truth of the world, or what it means to be human.

Criticizing their emotions rather than criticizing the people that can't control their negative outbursts, something all but a very few people can do, is what makes you wrong. Negative outbursts aren't good for anyone, even the people doing it.
02/15/2018 04:43 PMPosted by CelesteShep
You can tell me to calm down all you want.

Instead of telling myself to calm down, I told everyone else to stop being mean.

My way's not very effective. But it's more correct. It's more the way it should be.

If people wouldn't be mean, then people wouldn't get upset in the first place.

Is that, or is that not, a better solution?


Its not more 'correct'. Theres a balance between telling people to stop being jerks, and you yourself not being sensative. If you were literally brought to tears because of total strangers on the internet saying mean things, it seriously is a point you need to evaluate yourself.

Thats not being cold or callous, thats just accepting the world isnt roses and rainbows, and people typically arent nice. And most importantly, you have 0 control over them. You can ask things, but if they refuse you, then thats that. You gotta either put up with it or leave. And if you choose to put up with it, then you need to accept that you will be subject to other peoples idiocy and need to be able to take it.

Its foolish of you to ask others to be nice, they tell you no, and then you proceed to still continue to be in the internet public space and expect them to be nice and become upset when they dont.

You have agency. Part of that is going to be acceptance of things you cannot change, and acceptance that you will be subject to unpleasant things. How you interact with that is on you, not others.
02/16/2018 12:36 PMPosted by Brycerras
You have agency. Part of that is going to be acceptance of things you cannot change, and acceptance that you will be subject to unpleasant things. How you interact with that is on you, not others.


Basically, as the Serenity Prayer goes -- and one doesn't need to be religious to understand and apply its meaning to life --

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
I have been reading some the answers here, and here is my two cents.

While is true that life is not ease or color rose all the time, and is hard to control others actions it does not exlcude anyone to, atleast try, to be polite or just stay quiet. There is a saying that goes "if you have nothing productive or nice to say, do not say anything at all" , is just better to let go, of whatever went through your head and take it out on the wall next to you. This will help you achieve whatever goal you have in mind, otherwise the worse you are towards your team members, the worse your game expierence will be.

And as for OP, try not to take it so personally, think that its just a game and whatever that person said has nothing to do with you, and remember you can always block and/or mute chat/voice, aswell as report.

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