Joeyray's Bar

Sep 30, 2011 The troll problems: AKA How to avoid them In ancient mythology, trolls were said to be harmed by fire, yet, today's trolls start flaming, and flame wars, so, fire won't work. Now, lets get serious. Trolls troll to get a response, to get attention. There are times were i have made a post, and been accused of trolling, this is not the case. To stop a troll, don't reply, let the topic die and fade into nothing... the best way to spot a troll on sc2 forms is: 1) Unit comparison 2) claims of OP units 3) "request sticky"s 4) if you've seen the poster troll before Avoid these topics... don't post, or go "TROLL" (i have a habit of posting that on troll topics, i need to just ignore it...) trolls post to get a response... don't respond... they will go away...CulixCupric27 Sep 30, 2011
Sep 30, 2011 JR Election Identification (REGULARS ONLY!!) Check out the original Thread for more info on this Election. In your comments say who you know (more then one) in this list. Ender Chesty Tassadar Hellspork Netlock Rogtarholy IAreLemons Also say who you want to win (only one) Use the format in the first comment.iMoDoomerX32 Sep 30, 2011
Sep 30, 2011 A fun 3v3 or 4v4 team :DDDD The forst 2 or 3 people to add me we will do funn stuff in 4v4s or 3v3s online such as chesses rushes things that go by quickly :b make people angry :D im 15btw so add SnortCookies or martynas11@yahoo.comSnortCookies3 Sep 30, 2011
Sep 28, 2011 Anyone up for some games tonight? Hey all, just looking for a potential SC2 buddy to play with. I like mp and laddering but sometimes I wish I could have a more casual setting with an opponent where we can talk strat afterward. Anyways hit me up and let me know if you are interested. I am on the West coast and usually play a few nights a week and on the weekends.Notyelf3 Sep 28, 2011
Sep 28, 2011 Support a new gaming community! Like us on FB =) Sep 28, 2011
Sep 26, 2011 My dream about starcraft Last night I had a dream i was walking my colossus on a leash and my dog popped out and it got lazered but then all these zerglings came at me and i was covered in them. Then all of the sudden they were gone and i started riding a stalker like a horse. Then i woke up and got out of bed and started a new game of starcraft.. Share your dreams!Zoolander6 Sep 26, 2011
Sep 25, 2011 INCOMING TRANSMITION ......hello.......anyone..out there i need.... help crashed on zerus.... requesting *you hear a strange creature dieing* need help nowTassadar3 Sep 25, 2011
Sep 24, 2011 Extra-Life charity event Hey everyone I put a team together for this event (you can see my reasons for doing so on my page) Just trying to drum up as much support for this as possible. I'd recommend everyone taking part. This really is a great thing that is happening. All gamers should be involved. go there and check out the event, feel free to join our team, sponsor us, or start your own team and help out the local miracle hospital in your area.BabeSlayer1 Sep 24, 2011
Sep 22, 2011 OPEN rp THE ATTACk ON ZERUS (zerg homeworld) *you here a strange crackling sound*Tassadar6 Sep 22, 2011
Sep 22, 2011 Mystery Rp Sign Up.... *Boogah!* File Purged. Firebat33 Sep 22, 2011
Sep 22, 2011 Test (need to see if I have posting rights). You can ignore this thread, but thanks for checking in.Oug1 Sep 22, 2011
Sep 17, 2011 [No Balance Discussion Zone] Let's just lay back and shield all of us from the flames outside... Let us rest and share happy stories. Anyone have one? Talk about your favorite something!UNKNOWN5 Sep 17, 2011
Sep 16, 2011 Hilarious Adventure 3 It is here... Zergy and Da Supa roachy open their starbook at exactly 8:03 am. So does Raynor the Dark Voice, every hybrid, a good 200 changelings, a fun loving sentry and his hallucinations, all patrons of the 'High Templar Bar', zergies ex girlfriend, and justin beiber. They all play farmville until 8:30 which is normally the time they all go to work but today at 8:30 they received a message saying "Be on Xil by 10:00 by the xelnaga temple." They each took a 1 hour bus to xil and a 20 minute hike to the temple. They talked for 10 minutes trying to figure out who had called them here. A ghost sat on a ridge. He had been there for 30 minutes. At 8:00 he got up and sent a message to Zergy and Da Supa Roachy, raynor, dark voice, and everyone else but because of bad interwebs it got to them 30 minutes late. After that he called up mengsk and ordered a nuclear bomb that will arrive in ten minutes. In 20 minutes he will have it armed but he would need to keep everyone here. Everyone saw the ghost, 30 minutes too late... Ok so now that I just killed off all previous characters lets get some newbies. Steve the overlord Manny the Marine and Zeke the zealot. Let the hilarity begin!!iMoDoomerX55 Sep 16, 2011
Sep 16, 2011 *Incoming Transmission* The Open Rp... *Pant Pant* This is Firebat... Raynor's *Pant Raiders assault force... to anyone recievin-- *Banging on door* I have been captured by th-- "Ey 'umie!? You Ain't aloud in 'ere!" *Gunfire* Send help now! Hurry! Please no-- *Static*Firebat41 Sep 16, 2011
Sep 16, 2011 Small mistake I made To all MLP bronies out there you'll understand this, otherwise you wont. So I was playing 2v2 with my friend, we were both playing protoss. So later on I realized i forgot to put my twilight council down. So I was like: OMG, CRAP, I FORGOT MY TWILIGHT SPARKLE *facepalm*MaurawDurr4 Sep 16, 2011
Sep 16, 2011 Diary of a Marine This thread will be about a marine who records his military carreer as a dairy for others to read. I would like you, the readers, to vote on a name for this person. Thank you.LiquidDeath71 Sep 16, 2011
Sep 16, 2011 tassadar OPEN rp *you hear a strange crackling sound*Tassadar3 Sep 16, 2011
Sep 15, 2011 Stetmann's Zerg Research Log EDIT: NEW BROOD LORD ENTRY ADDED. PLEASE ENJOY! I got this idea from reading the research done by Stetmann in the lab during the game and decided to follow a similar format with explaining how certain Zerg and Protoss units work. This first entry is the Baneling. Let me know if you like it, and what unit I should do next. ========================================================= Stetmann Research Log Research Entry 2432 Date : November 2nd, 2504 Location : Char Race : Zerg Strain : Baneling Fascinating! Ever since the Xel-Naga artifact has activated and the Queen of Blades neutralized, the Zerg Broods which haven’t been destroyed seem to be in a temporary state of lifeless suspension. Scans show that their vital signs are active, but they seem to be...empty. Almost as if they are waiting for something. I don’t know, maybe I’m over thinking the situation. Better keep these thoughts to myself, because I know exactly what Swann would say if I said the Zerg seemed harmless. He’d yell “Dinner’s on me!” just as he threw me out of the bunker. I can’t turn down this amazing opportunity I have to study the Zerg up close. As much as I enjoy studying samples in the lab, watching the Zerg in action is much more rewarding, albeit dangerous as hell. As Jim has headed out with a small strike force towards the primary Hive cluster to discover the results of the Xel-Naga artifact, I will see if I can find anyone crazy enough to accompany me studying the inert Zerg species that are still nearby. * * * As luck would have it, the success of the mission has lead to the intoxication of many of the troops. I’d probably be with them if I could hold my liquor, but...well yeah. Convincing several marines to come along wasn’t as hard as I thought; they already felt on top of the world. They probably wouldn’t have the aim, but if worst came to worst and I couldn’t outrun the Zerg, at least I could outrun them. Not far from the Command Center I came across a small force of a dozen or so Zerglings, with several Banelings in the mix. Each stood patiently, eyes looking forward, completely unaware that we were just a sprint away. I had never gotten the opportunity to study Banelings this close! Well, without them barreling after me that is. I was able to notice much more detail about the Baneling’s carapace and structure that I had before. Due to analysis of Baneling acid, I had previously discovered that the fluids churning within the body of the Baneling were always dissolving the inner membranes of the Baneling’s carapace. Though highly resistant to corrosion, the sheer strength of the acid caused the Baneling to literally eat itself from the inside out. The Zerg however had engineered a trait to the Baneling’s genetic structure to prevent them from being destroyed before they were needed. Using similar regenerative properties contained within the Roach species, the Baneling was able to regenerate itself at a rate proportional to what was being dissolved. This allowed for the potency of the acid to remain strong until the moment of explosion. Amazing how the Zerg works to become extremely deadly However, while Banelings contained such corrosive acid, it had always been a mystery to me how they could explode even within their ranks and leave all of their surrounding brethren unscathed. Upon close inspection of the Baneling, I was able to notice that grooves were located around every sac of acid. It was possible that upon explosion the Baneling would rupture along these grooves to expel acid into any direction they pleased. I must find a way to experiment! One of the Marines was kind enough to shoot one of the Banelings for me. Even though he kept drunkenly swiping bullets into the swarm of Zerg, none of them made any attempt to attack. After what seemed like ages, the bullets began to meet their mark. I noticed that every time a bullet would hit an acid filled sac, rather than spewing outward onto the fellow Zerg, the acid would ooze slowly from the wound onto the ground. This was amazing, since those sacs had to be extremely pressurized. The Baneling’s body must work at lightning speeds to correct pressure abnormalities to ensure its potency. Sure enough, when the targeted Baneling could take no more, it ruptured with a loud pop. I watched as the body detonated, and sure enough, certain parts of the bodies carapace held strong while others detached. The internal acid spewed all throughout the ranks of the fellow Zerg, narrowly missing all, but not hitting a single one. Since the Zerg were not under control of any higher power, this had to have been completely on instinct. It is absolutely amazing that the Zerg have been able to form this species to have such a useful trait weaved directly into the DNA of this creature. I need to get back to the lab to run more tests! Here on Char, I truly feel like a kid in a candy store!Aradan38 Sep 15, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 Hunter for hire... Name: Cold The ghost sat in the corner of his personal bar... well at least the public bar he had to murder and maim to make it his personal bar. He sat sharpening his blade. He had rigged the tv to show him any jobs he could take. He glanced at it now, not a damn one. He pulled out his pistol and pointed it at the lifeless figure propped against the wall. In a split second he fired. Another one between the eyes. Life is good. Ok heres how this will work. You post a job (assination) a quick backstory on the character then i write quick stories detailing the kill. GlHfiMoDoomerX12 Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 Goodbye... It appears that you all have no need to rp with me. And I shall now take my leave. I will no longer be on the Joey Ray's Bar forums. Purging Firebat Production Labs... *Purging* *Purging* *Purging* *Complete* Free Dal'ath Zerg Strain from Admin Firebat Control... *Purging* *Purging* *Purging* *Complete* Deleting All Admin Created Files... *Purging* *Purging* *Purging* *Complete* To the remaining Protoss and Human forces under my control, I give to LeKroger and Zanon. Zanon gets the Protoss, Lekroger the Humans. Now I take my leave. Forever. Goodbye. -Sincerely Firebat...Firebat5 Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 The Reclamation of Auir and open Rp File Purged.Firebat8 Sep 14, 2011
Sep 13, 2011 Nea's Story. Man, it felt good to be alive. All I have to do is fry Zerg all day, all night...smells good, you know. Roasting Zerg reminds me of old-world Barbecue. Then my commander zaps me for bypassing the neural implants again. I had been a Firebat for ten years. Commander Creed usually let me be in the front lines, never in those boring Bunkers. I had been to Char and back, made it alive with the Raiders. Never could remember what that girl looked like that Raynor saved...must have been another im- "Quit that!" Creed yelled, as I passed the implants yet again. "Sorry..." I replied sheepishly, because I respected him. I thought about hooking up with him for a long, long time, but I thought I remembered having a husband back on Chau Sara. I went back to work on repairing my boots, and reported to the mess hall at exactly 0700 hours. (Yay! It actually worked! I'm gonna continue this in a new thread some time..) I was pretty lonely, eating my RAT pack. Those legendary things had "food" in them, but they saved lives. Not from malnutrition, but the wrapping on the chocolate bar was rumored to be bullet-proof. I wolfed the disgusting stuff down, and headed out to the field, for inspection. I scoffed as some of the Marauders looked at me, wishing I was available...They voiced that opinion loudly as I passed. I was first to get there, with my spit-clean boots and shiny red suit. The inspector quickly inspected me, and I was allowed to leave early. I went off to find Creed, for no real reason. Then the Protoss came. The Protoss used Ships, so I couldn't even fight back as the whole place was destroyed. I fled into the surrounding cliffs, and hoped Creed escaped. A Zealot appeared. So they're using Ground forces as well...I killed him/her, and then a Stalker shot blacked me out. The Raiders healed me up again, and I was ready for anything.Vultureling2 Sep 13, 2011
Sep 12, 2011 Lost Viking Why is lost viking even an achievement? It should be a feat of strength if anything. I don't get why something that is not related to RTS games is and achievement in one. I've tried about 25 times to beat it and only got up to 62,000 at my best (I know, I suck, but it has to do a lot with luck, too). I just think that the concept is stupid. It'd be fun if it wasn't an achievement, but since it is I feel like I HAVE to beat it because I'm stupid like that.Birdman6 Sep 12, 2011
Sep 11, 2011 StarCraft II Player Raging Caught Mad Funny Enjoy! lol UVXwarCatUVXwarCat0 Sep 11, 2011
Sep 11, 2011 new to multiplayer, looking for tips. I mainly play terran, but Im in the Bronze league and hover around the 50 mark... any tips to improve, things I could be doing wrong?Arekesu10 Sep 11, 2011
Sep 11, 2011 A poem Crush Across the room, a world apart She knows me not, though owns my heart So bitter sweet, the youthful fuss of naive hearts lost in a crush The pining dreams that pass the time and justify such simple rhyme Yet should she speak, should I reply? And risk, perhaps, this crush to die? And would I lose what passions try When lonely hearts are left to cry Suppose it's best to miss in light flaws hidden through dark's perfect sight But then, perhaps the time is right Perhaps, it's owing for tonight to end the habit of the day that dawns in such a lonely way Perhaps tonight, I'll temp to start across the room, a world apartDualSpoons9 Sep 11, 2011
Sep 11, 2011 StarCraft II - Squadron TD - Review Check out this new review on one of the most popular custom games available in SC2! Enjoy! UVXwarCatUVXwarCat2 Sep 11, 2011
Sep 7, 2011 Add Jokes Here (Sc2) What do you call 3 Ultras scratching their rear on a supply depot wall that just ate exlax? A Baneling bust (Corny I Know) lolSolarEclipse20 Sep 7, 2011
Sep 7, 2011 Cloaked Love... File Purged.Firebat7 Sep 7, 2011
Sep 6, 2011 Like a Toss (Like a Boss parody) Mr. Huk thank you for coming to your interview No problem. So, your a pro toss (unintentional) Absolutely. Im the toss. Ok, so take us through the life, of a toss Well the first thing ya do is MINE MINERALS! (Like a toss) MAKE SOME PROBES! (Like a toss) CONSTRUCT PYLONS! (Like a toss) REMEBER TO SCOUT! (Like a toss) SEE A 6RAX! (Like a toss) NOOBS RUSHIN! (Like a toss) MICROMANAGE! (Like a toss) FORCEFIELD! (Like a toss) TRY TO PUSH! (Like a toss) SEE A WALL! (Like a toss) PUSH FAILS! (Like a toss) SWALLOW SHAME! (Like a toss) GET A ROBO! (Like a toss) TECH COLOSSUS! (Like a toss) LOSE TO VIKINGS! (Like a toss) PLAY SOME LADDER! (Like a toss) METALOPOLIS! (Like a toss) (imagine this is a while ago) 1-1-1! (Like a toss) NO PROMOTION! (Like a toss) SEARCH AGAIN! (Like a toss) SCOUT A CANON RUSH! (Like a toss) PRESS ENTER! (Like a toss) GG! (Like a toss) Crap man i cant do it! BACKSPACE! (Like a toss) GET A 4GATE! (Like a toss) LOSE MAH PROBES! (Like a toss) RUSH THE GUYS BASE! (Like a toss) KILL SOME PYLONS! (Like a toss) SEE THE DTS! (Like a toss) RUSH MY OWN BASE! (Like a toss) LEAVE THE GAME! (Like a toss) PLAY SOME CUSTOMS! (Like a toss) MOTHERSHIP RUSH! (Like a toss) WIN THE GAME! (Somehow) PLAYIN MLG! (Like a toss) PLAYIN IDRA! (Like a toss) MATCH START! (Like a toss) HALLU SOME UNITS! (Like a toss) PUSH OUT! (Like a toss) IDRA GGS! (Like a toss) I WIN THE TOURNAMENT! (Like a toss) NOW IM DEAD! (Like a toss) Uh huh, thats an average day for you? No Doubt You mothership rush and die? Hell yea And i think at one point you talked about GGing? Nope Actually im pretty sure you did... Nah, that aint me Okay well this has been eye opening for me... Im a toss! iMoDoomerX7 Sep 6, 2011
Sep 5, 2011 Tears of the Fallen - Closed RP Many eons ago on the distant planet Ga'zhur, several of the last remaining Xel'Naga gathered. They were outcasts; removed from their population due to an unforgivable crime of murdering their own. Deep underneath it's icy surface, these last Xel'Naga were driven to madness, drunk with the poisoning desire for revenge upon their brethren. With their limited access to technology, brought with them on a mighty World Ship, they devised a powerful weapon which would have the power to envelope an entire star system completely within the Void, leaving no trace of it behind. They would then destroy the budding Protoss heathens that their brethren were so fond of, and revenge would be satisfied. However, the energy of the device was as poisonous as the Xel'Naga's desire for revenge. Before it could be used, each of the Xel'Naga were dissolved by its overwhelming power, and the device became dormant, deep within an ancient vault inside the planet's frozen crust. Yet something has awoken the sleeping artifact again, and it now is calling out into the depths of space. It has drawn attention to itself, as Terran, Protoss, and Zerg forces have all heard its call. Who will find it? -BACKSTORY- PROTOSS (Played by Zanon): Far away, a powerful Mothership was searching the outer fringes of the Koprulu sector for scattered portions of the Protoss Fleet. Left at the corner of the galaxy ever since the Golden Age of Protoss exploration, the Judicator’s Blade had sat silent, until the Second Great War called it back into into service to strike wrath at the enemies of the Khala. Strangely however, this beacon of energy from the Xel’Naga weapon called to the Judicator’s Blade, as if it were a distress beacon. The Executor was a High Templar during the Brood Wars. Zerg Scourge had taken out the fleet command, and the flag ship was destroyed. He was field promoted to admiral of the fleet. He continued, and against all odds won the fight against the Zerg. He was raised to the rank of Executor in honor of his victory. He continued to win battle after battle, and was offered a seat on the council several times, but turned down the offer. He wished to be in battle, not participate in politics. Commanding a relatively small fleet, the Protoss Executor feared that this energy beacon may be a distress call from his brethren, and immediately warped his entire fleet to Ga’zhur’s location, prepared to unleash the fury of the Protoss. TERRAN (Played by Archangel): Captain Lucius Jackson is considered a pirate to many, and a scumbag to others, but most about him can be learned from an excerpt from his autobiography: My name is Lucius Jackson. I guess you could say being a pirate runs in the family. My father, Charles Jackson, was the original captain of the Battlecruiser Duke’s Revenge. I spent my childhood on the decks of the Battlecruiser, learning all I could about commanding a fleet. It all ended when my father’s first officer decided he wanted to be in command. He killed my father, and would have killed me, but I escaped in a drop pod. I was only 16, but on that day, I became a man. I quickly rose up in the ranks as a mercenary. I did jobs, made connections. I was known throughout the mercenary community as a ruthless commander. All of it was for one goal: to regain my father’s ship, and have justice for his death. When I finally took control, I found that the man who killed my father was dead, as well as every other captain in a long line of mutinies. I would put an end to that. I renamed the ship Jackson’s Revenge, and began to build my fleet. Rebel fleets, mercenaries, old UED and Confederate battlecruisers that had survived the Brood War; all joined my fleet. You want something done, I’m the guy you go to. It’ll cost you, though. Upon the Xel’Naga device’s awakening, rumors of it began to spread throughout the mercenaries that Jackson had hired. Believeing that this item could both bring a pretty penny, as well as ensure his place of power was not disputed, he ordered his fleet to Ga’zhur. ZERG (Played by Hellspork): Mar had been drifting through space after conquering and infesting a Terran Fringe-world, which had only lead himself to grow stronger. A large Cthulhu-like creature, he stretched out nearly two miles into space, and carried his brood with him as he traveled. As he journeyed however, something pierced his mind like a nail through flesh. For the first time in ages, Mar felt a twinge of fear. What he felt seemed to be the Overmind’s voice. Mar had once been imprisoned by the Overmind within his own mind, due to his enormous power. When the Overmind had been slain, Mar was free, and he gathered his own broods and forces independent of the Swarm. However, the sensation he felt was weak, and it did not attempt to control his mind. Mar set out across the void of space to find the source of this voice, and snuff it out. ===================================================================== Scenario: Each force must secure a position for their respective fleets. Each one is very powerful, and direct engagement with another force will ensure heavy losses for both sides, unless one retreats or negotiations can be made. Around the planet there are three possible locations for securing positions. Each location has advantages for two races, but not the third. Each location also has pros and cons regardless of race which must be taken into account before the decision is made: Orbiting Space Platform: (T&Z) A small Terran mining colony has been operating on the surface of Ga’zhur since the time that Terrans arrived in the Koprulu sector. If the Terrans create their base here, the colony will be happy to donate extra resources in return for protection from alien forces. If the Zerg infest the platform, they will be able to infest the colonists; strengthening their ground forces. PROS: Closest location to Ga’zhur, and therefore can be reinforced quickly. Low gravity allows for the majority of the fleet to stay near it for better defence. Only one force can be on the platform at any given time. CONS: Stark resources available on the platform. Not enough space to build up a large base of operations. Abandoned Xel’Naga World Ship: (P&T) This ancient ship is large, and riddled with ancient Xel’Naga technology. The Protoss will be able to activate the ship’s Rip Field Generators, protecting them from all but the strongest attacks. Terran however will be able to tap into the ship’s large reserves of energy, ensuring that their craft both on and off the World Ship will be operating at peak efficiency. PROS: Second closest to Ga’zhur, it’s large area also allows for a large base of operations to be established. More resources are here than on the Platform. CONS: Gravity however is higher, so main fleet will need to be in orbit around it while ground forces take to the colonization. Small Moon Ioptus: (P&Z) Being much larger and plentiful with resources, the Zerg will be able to expand rapidly, growing their forces. The Protoss however have noticed that a large Xel’Naga Warpgate exists on this moon, and if controlled, would allow for quick reinforcements directly from Shakkurus. PROS: Plenty of resources. Large enough space that if two armies reached a diplomatic truce, they would be able to colonize the moon together. CONS: Far from Ga’zhur. Also, high gravity means that fleets must remain in orbit. ===================================================================== FORCES (FLEETS): PROTOSS: 1 - Judicator’s Blade (Mothership) - Capable of using Mass Recall, Planet Cracker, and creating a Black Hole 4 - Carrier 9 - Void Ray 16 - Phoenix 16 - Scout 4 - Observers 25 - Warp Prism (Not Armed, but carrying ground forces and supplies) TERRAN: 1 - Pirate Battlecruiser (Jackson’s Revenge) - Loaded with Two Tactical Nuclear Warheads, and can use Defensive Matrix 3 - Behemoth Class Battlecruiser 5 - Minotaur Class Battlecruiser 20 - Viking 15 - Wraith 3 - Raven 2 - Science Vessle 50 Drop Ship (Not Armed, but carrying ground forces and supplies) ZERG 1 - Brood Lord (Mar) - Can send all nearby Zerg into a frenzy, increasing efficiency. Can use Bioplasmic discharge 3 - Leviathan 15 - Corrupter 40 - Mutalisk 20 - Scourge 10 - Devourer 5 - Overseer 75 - Overlord (Not Armed, but carrying ground forces and supplies) ===================================================================== Good luck my friends. You may begin your negotiations, colonizations, and battlesAradan38 Sep 5, 2011
Sep 5, 2011 Anyone know of any good "campaign like" custom maps? I seem to remember that there were a few extra campaigns (like 5-20 mission stories with or without voice editing and with a good deal of creative terrain/units/triggers etc.) that came with SC1 or were made by players for download. Anyone know of a few, where/how to find them and what are some decent ones?DinoRiders3 Sep 5, 2011
Sep 3, 2011 Rhymed Couplets Contribute to the Adventure! Theme: Walkthrough of a TvZ using rhymed couplets Oe'r the sands of Shakuras the sun did shine And the cerebrate's drones started to mine.Arcane14 Sep 3, 2011
Sep 1, 2011 Cloaked Love, Part 7 I know this is a little early to be starting a new thread, so nobody post here until part 6 is done with.Thundercrash500 Sep 1, 2011
Sep 1, 2011 Interview with a Queen Reporter: Good afternoon! Im retired Brood Lord Grackius Marshall, and im here with a special presentation tonight! It seems one of our queens is dissatisfied with the way her employer is treating her, and has established a psionic link with Zerg TV to tell us of her struggles! Queen:Hello Gracky! My name is Beerma and Im a massive fan of yours! In fact, I was best friends with the Queen that tended the hatchery you grew up in! I loved your work on Shakuras—those turtling Terrans didn't know what hit em! Grackius: Thanks Beerma! Do you have a case of laryngitis or the flu? Beerma: (croakily) Nope, this is how we queens always talk. Grackius: Fascinating! Now tell me Beerma, how is life on the front lines? Beerma: Grackius, you have no idea how horrible it is! My commander Xenharmonic knows im the most experienced queen on the field, so I am always asssigned to the main hatchery! I sit there injecting larvae all day, gazing down the ramp longingly at the queens down at the natural, who sometimes get to spread creap and kill those pesky marines =(. Once, a reaper even came up here, and started abusing me with his BB gun! I thought i'd teach that boy a lesson, but it turns out im not as fast as I used to be... Once upon a time he would quite often enlist a companion for me if he thought there was a danger of air attacks.... but Gracky, I feel like im being replaced by a spore crawler... IT TOOK MAHHH JORB! Grackius: There there Beerma, im sure things will turn out all right =/ Beerma: Im not so sure Gracky... im not quite the woman I used to be. My feelers are so pathetically weak these days that I once faced a Marine 1 on 1.... and I had to be rescued by my roach friend Tim! Im not gonna lie.... i've put on some weight. A pheonix came by yesterday, tried lifting me up and the graviton generator broke under the strain. The little Zerglings have came up with these jokes that start off with "Yo mommaqueen so fat..." some of them seem to be referring to the fabled Protoss mothership—which of course doesn't exist—but they hurt my feelings anyway =( Here's just a common example of the conditions I work in: You've been slaving all day, injecting the larva, sweltering in the hot sun, and suddenly you see a flying white thingie those Terrans call a medivuc or something. I just call them dropships. Anyway, I started shooting him with my little spines because he didn't wanna bribe me, but he had some strong plating, and just hovering above my mineral line these buggy things drop out. "THIS IS MY HATCHERY!" I scream at them. Me and Tim were having a conversation earlier about how bad our jerbs are, so I was sure me and a roach could handle these young men. Torrents of blue flame came raging out of jets on the top of the buggies, and suddenly I watched a huge portion of my beloved drones die roasting in the fire. "RUN, MY CHILDREN!" but it was no use, (sniffle), those drones lined up and only one escaped to the natural. I've tried giving him counselling, but I think he's pretty messed up now. I don't blame him. He's enlisting in the scout department—courting death. Me and Tim killed only ONE of those hellish buggies, before the rest lifted up in the medivuc and escaped. Xenharmonic was furious. Zerglings, banelings and mutalisks raced towards the Terran base, and in a matter of heartbeats it was overrun. That doesn't bring those poor drones back to life, or make little David any less scarred now (bursts into tears). (sniff) I need a pay rise (sob) Grackius: Beerma... I never knew that being a Queen was so hard and dangerous. You know what!? Maybe you should be paid minerals AND GAS for your work.... Beerma, for your time here today I want to award you 500 minerals and 500 gas. Spend it wisely my friend. Beerma: *gasp*, with this maybe I can bribe Xenharmonic into letting me work the natural again! Thank you Grackius! Zerg TV, Zergling Cola and Baneling Bars RULE! Grackius: Yes they do, and a big thank you to our sponsors for supporting this program =). Well, it seems we are out of time. Next week we interview a Mutalisk on what it's like to weave around the battlefield, dodging enemy fire and dealing death to workers! We even find out what this new "Magic Box" technique is—I know many of my friends have been wondering about it! I'm retired Brood Lord Grackius Marshall—Have a lovely afternoon, and may your bases stay cannon free!Xenharmonic32 Sep 1, 2011
Aug 31, 2011 OPEN FOR BUSINESS! Welcome, stranger, to the Thundercrash Personal Roleplaying Bar. JoeyRay’s Bar is an excellent place to come to relax, to let the strain of obliterating your opponent in honorable combat drain away. I have been coming to this fine establishment for some time, and though I have enjoyed myself many times, I have noticed something lacking. Drinks! So, being the considerate man that I am, I have taken it upon myself serve this much needed necessity. Patrons may partake from our fine range of beverages, some only found here. Thundercrash bar menu: A Jim Raynor -- Cheap, harsh, and served up warm in a filthy glass. A Tychus Findlay -- You’re not actually sure what it is, but you spilled a few drops and the counter is still smoking. The Zeratul -- It isn’t served to you, instead it appears from the shadows. Then, when you try to drink it, you experience weird visions and the glass disappears. Zergling “Special” -- “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal…” Firebat -- Burns goin’ down AND comin’ back up. Psi-Storm -- Hits so hard you’ll remember what happened tomorrow, yesterday. Grounds for Divorce -- Matt Horner was drinking these when he “won” a fateful card game. What He’s Having -- Kachinsky always seems to be in here, so whatever he’s having must be pretty good. Baneling Body Shot -- Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m not sure where to put the lime... A Glass of Milk -- “Whaddya mean there aren’t any cows in Koprulu? Where’d this come from then?“ The Solar Shot -- For those looking for a good time. Flame-proof clothing recommended, cuz you’ll be shining brighter than the star of Typhon. Korhalian BackStabber -- Good for the recently betrayed and left for dead. The Jail Breaker -- new from the recently opened New Folsom Prison Bar. The Bloody Medic -- kills the pain, but we still say you should have a doctor check that out. Redstone Mixer -- expensive, but I can guarantee it’ll be served in a clean and sterilized glass. Careful, that lava’s hot. The Broadcaster -- You’re not ready for the raw $ex appeal this sucker brings. A favorite of a certain ex-convict. The Hellracer -- suspension of sobriety is an integral part of any drinking experience, but this experience requires suspension of sobriety and inhibitions. The Maelstrom Shocker -- Only served here, a 40% bigger hit than standard Shockers, guaranteed. Psionic Cooler -- yes, I know it feels weird. Don’t worry, the energy coming out of your body should wear off in a couple days (insert generic letters to indicate gibberish) -- I don’t know what’s in it either, but that guy down there had one. He started screaming and thrashing for a while, and now he hasn’t gotten up off the floor in over an hour. It seems to have the appearance and consistency of Roach acid. The Judicator -- Perfect for influencing the minds of the intoxicated. Prismatic Void -- Gets better with every drink. Has been known to be lethal. Mind Shredder: perfect for those wishing to forget everything and start a new life. For anyone not wishing to do this, this drink isn’t advised. Drink accessories: pylon shards (for those that need that extra glitter), hydralisk spine umbrella (not for the more bubbly drinks) The menu will updated every so often, so check back to see if there is anything new you might like to try. There are only two rules here: If anyone starts a bar fight I will either: a) throw you into the pen of Roaches I keep in the back. I feed them regularly, but you know how voracious Zerg are b) personally blow your head off, and use your dead body to make new drinks and 2: what happens in the bar, stays in the bar. So come. Drink. Enjoy. Chat with friends. Make new ones. Pick up a date [or a one night stand ;) ]. Drown your sorrows. Bi*ch about your life. For those of the literary bent, use this opportunity to get the creative juices [among other things] flowing. As long as you pay your tab, and don’t break anything, I really don’t care what you do. And the best part is: no hangovers!Thundercrash500 Aug 31, 2011
Aug 31, 2011 A deadly game on the forbidden planet "This place is a morgue. Whatever used to live in these ruins up an' died millions of years ago." Xel'naga technology capable to destroy entire stars was discovered by two rival rogue spectres that call themselves the Kings. The Kings were once teammates, and during that period, stolen blueprints of the psi-disrupter; Forced huge scientific crowds to enhance them, and once completed, were able to control a fraction of the swarm on their own. With the control of the Zergs, They dominated with terror a whole sector of the galaxy and assaulted many, many planets. Greed and suspicions’, converted the kings into arch-enemies, and aware of each faction power they are desperately looking for an additional edge in their armament race. The Xel'naga technology was discovered by the King spies (and their counter spies), and both have landed in a nearby location of the Xil planet. There's so much as stake, and the kings have such a deadly Human/Zerg army, that even two opposite and dissident Tal'darim's factions, agreed to make a fragile alliance with each King. There’s nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide (even to a spectre), as their landing zone is covered on various electromagnetic fields that nullify any cloaking ability, mechanical o biologic. Their fortresses are assembled and the play board is set. NO PRISONERS WILL BE TAKEN AND A KING WILL FALL TONIGHT. Do you like to play chess besides SC2? Say it so in this thread and let people find you in game. Check out ChessWars gameplay demonstrations (more to be added): Legals Mate Scholars Mate Kostics trap Submit your replays, comments and feedback to Aug 31, 2011
Aug 31, 2011 To Win A War... Previously... You know the link is very long so I'm just gonna put the thread name, Battle of the Amerigo an Open Rp The survivors fly in their makeshift ship heading to Korhal until, over Eranii (Protoss Space) some surviving Zerg scourge attach to the ship and blow up the main engines, it plumits down onto Eranii, crashing badly, but most of the men inside survive, only 1 pilot was killed. The rest of you I suggest make camp, recooperate, hey, maybe the 'toss are friendly. P.S. I hope all you awesome rpers from Battle of the Amerigo an Open Rp decide to rp in this, which I hope will be just as awesome as the other one.Firebat259 Aug 31, 2011
Aug 30, 2011 Songs to Learn on Guitar. Heyall, I'm a guitarist, been playing for 3 years and can play things like Cliffs Of Dover, YYZ, Foreplay/Longtime, and other slightly difficult songs. Can anyone suggest songs for me to learn?MellonTiger6 Aug 30, 2011
Aug 29, 2011 Hatchery Cake - We require more "sugar" I wanna one of this on my birthday :P Aug 29, 2011
Aug 29, 2011 Add on to "A day in a life of Jim Raynor." Day 1: I'm getting bored. I think I'll revolt. <Completes "Liberation Day"> Ok, that was fun. What? Something about an artifact? Sure, I'll help you, friend that has never been in the story before but I conveniently know!BigDaddy69 Aug 29, 2011
Aug 28, 2011 cloaked love part 6 dont use until 5 is full there is like 3 more pagesTassadar500 Aug 28, 2011
Aug 28, 2011 Tears of the Fallen - RP Recruitment (Closed) I have participated in several RP's and thought that I would like to begin my own. Once set up, it will be a semi-closed RP, but I'll explain how that works in a moment. I am looking for three people with exceptional writing skills to help make this entertaining and fun. Each person will command a high ranking official in either the Terran/Protoss/Zerg army. For this recruitment, I will explain the backstory to this RP, and then give information on how to apply. Background: Many eons ago on the distant planet Ga'zhur, several of the Xel'Naga gathered. They were outcasts; removed from their population due to an unforgivable crime of murdering their own. Deep underneath it's icy surface, these Xel'Naga were driven to madness, drunk with the poisoning desire for revenge. With their limited access to technology, they devised a powerful weapon which would have the power to destroy an entire star system completely, leaving no trace of it behind. They would then be able to destroy the budding Protoss that their brothers were so fond of, and revenge would be sweet. However, the energy of the device was as poisonous as the Xel'Naga's desire for revenge. Before it could be used, each of the Xel'Naga were enveloped by its overwhelming power, and the device became dormant, within the planet's crust. Recently, however, it has become active again, calling out, allowing for Terran, Protoss, and Zerg to hear it calling. Each force has sent one of their highest ranking leaders to retrieve the artifact. Information: This RP will have a winner, depending on the cleverness and intelligence that the writer puts into the RP. I will provide information for what is going on at any given time. I will throw both good luck and bad luck at people to see how they deal with it. In order to apply, please fill out the following information: Desired Position: Commander(Terran) - Executor(Protoss) - Brood Mother(Zerg) History of Character: (How you came to be a powerful leader in your respective race.) Answers to the following questions, so that I can see your writing skill and motivation. In the following situations, please explain what you would do, and why? You are fighing an army that is vastly superior to yours. Continued battle will surely end in defeat. Do you: A. Fight fiercely to the death, taking as many of them as you can? B. Retreat to save your forces in order to fight another day? C. Reach into your pocket and pull out a Doomsday weapon you forgot you had until just now, point it at the army, and say 'ZAP!' watching them melt before you? An enemy surrenders themself to you.Do you: A. Accept their surrender and take them as prisoners? B. Decline their surrender and slaughter them as they are weaponless? C. Throw down your weapons and surrender to them, because they secretly have a Doomsday weapon? A loved one is the victim of your greatest enemy. Do you: A. Vow revenge and spend all of your time plotting to kill them? B. After feeling grief, you try your best to forgive your enemy so that you will not take emotion into your decision making, and therefore be able to fight with a clear mind? C. LOL JK, mai Doomsday device also can turn dead people into Zombies! Lastly, I want you to write a small portion of a story. The situation is as follows: It is the eve before the battle. Your enemies gather their forces outside your stronghold. It will be a truly epic battle, but there will be casualties on each side. What are your thoughts, strategems, ideas, and worries as you approach battle, and what are you doing to prepare? If you want to paste this template, it might help: Desired Position : History of Character : Answer to Question : 1: 2: 3: Short Writing Sample: Lastly, I said this would be a semi-closed RP. The reason being is that if any of the Leaders would like to have people under them become writers as well, they may allow them to do so. I will leave it to their discression. I will let this run for a couple days maximum, or until I find some writers which I really like. Good luck, and I look forward to seeing some interesting writing from you all!Aradan19 Aug 28, 2011
Aug 27, 2011 Looking for noob 1v1 practice buddy I'm a bronze league terran on the NA servers. Desperately wanting to get better and meet new people in the process. Xfire: nemesis881LARRY10 Aug 27, 2011
Aug 26, 2011 Starcraft 2 friends Hellllllo everyon and the is deadterror anyway I know that new plAyers need friends on Starcraft 2 to play against, talk and have a good time too. So if your one of those people friend me I'm kind An never flare people so friend me my profile # is 580 and if you want to become friends reply this thread and friend me I'm on before 7 and get back online at 5:30 central tIme U.S Peace out and gl at starcraft 2 DeadTerror #580DeadTerror0 Aug 26, 2011
Aug 26, 2011 Sports Bars Changing Channels to Video Gamers Have you guys read this?? dtmos wrote in to say that "This summer, StarCraft II has become the newest bar room spectator sport. Fans organize so-called Barcraft events, taking over pubs and bistros from Honolulu to Florida and switching big-screen TV sets to Internet broadcasts of professional game matches. As they root for their on-screen superstars, StarCraft enthusiasts can sow confusion among regular patrons... But for sports-bar owners, StarCraft viewers represent a key new source of revenue from a demographic—self-described geeks—they hadn't attracted before."UNKNOWN2 Aug 26, 2011
Aug 26, 2011 DAY9 SAID SANTA ISNT REAL!?! wtf is this?? santa is totally real >:(Xaxas25 Aug 26, 2011
Aug 25, 2011 Heart of the Void! I really wanted to share these, wrote them a while ago on the Campaign forums, didn't want to copy and paste them all (That would take forever :P) These aren't necessarily a story... well, yes it is. Its kind of a combination of a story and how the missions would work in the 2 expansions for Wings of Liberty. Tell me what you think! :DCloverfield0 Aug 25, 2011
Aug 25, 2011 Cloaked Love, Part 5 Nobody use this until Part 4 is used up.Thundercrash500 Aug 25, 2011
Aug 25, 2011 Help a Stranded Pilot! I was escorting a Warp Prism just outside this sector, when one of the zealots in the cargo hold saw an old forge with some abandoned Khalai caste workers fixing up a dragoon. The guys in our warp pulled over to power them up, and I took the time to land in front of old Joeyray's bar. I know Protoss can't really consume alcohol, but I took my sweet time chatting up some of the locals. An old hydralisk defect from the swarm was showing up some marauders in a "friendly" game of darts, and I decided to turn the tides a bit. A lot actually, since a pinch of psionics can really help you aim... Thing is, Zerg aren't too keen on losing bets, especially to cheaters. I mean, bending those darts mid-air isn't looked down on back at the gateway, and he's a HYDRALISK! Those Terran were getting their pockets emptied by a creature who shoots darts for a living! I had to do something... Bam, next thing I know, the bartender's got a C-14 Gauss Rifle aimed at my head, his wife's crying over broken glasses, and I've got literal "pins and needles" from that stupid porcupine. I'm sitting alone at the curb, waiting for my pheonix to power up, watching the SCVs across the street calling me names. Then, next thing you know, a DT warps in behind me. You will never guess what he is holding. A pair of tendrils. "Zerg?", I ask him, but he nods for me to look closer and I get a good look at the khaydarin around the base. Not zerg, these tendrils are from a zealot. And I recognize where they came from. I speed over to the forge, and the dragoon blast knocks me down midair. Outside the cockpit, I'm greeted by a stalker, another zealot, and a whole lot of angry toss. They drop the corpse in front of me and I am greeted by the horrifying sight of a headless zealot. Then, one of the elders grabs my arm. He can feel the psionic taint from those severed tendrils. I told them to ask the observer before they did anything rash, but even it accused me! In a fit of rage, I shot the poor thing down, and they whisked me away to death's row. My people were all about tradition, and murdering each other was not exactly honourable. Thing is, as I sit in stasis, I remember that observer. He smelled like protoss, creep, and molten steel. The protoss is understandable, but I don't think I've ever seen an observer made of "primitive" metals, and much less creep. I'm dying here, literally. Can you guys help me out?Ytternal66 Aug 25, 2011