Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 31)

Joeyray's Bar
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Continued from Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 30)
The code of conduct remains unchanged my friends, what I say goes, and the roaches in the back haven't been fed recently. (Please excuse me while I fix that)

Now to the important stuff...

Drink menu:

The Jingle Bell -- There's no candy involved, but you will definitely be needing a cane.

A Jim Raynor -- Cheap, harsh, and served up warm in a filthy glass.

A Tychus Findlay -- You’re not actually sure what it is, but you spilled a few drops and the counter is still smoking.

The Zeratul -- It isn’t served to you, instead it appears from the shadows. Then, when you try to drink it, you experience weird visions and the glass disappears.

Zergling “Special” -- “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal…”

Firebat -- Burns goin’ down AND comin’ back up.

Psi-Storm -- Hits so hard you’ll remember what happened tomorrow, yesterday.

Grounds for Divorce -- Matt Horner was drinking these when he “won” a fateful card game.

What He’s Having -- Kachinsky always seems to be in here, so whatever he’s having must be pretty good.

Baneling Body Shot -- Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m not sure where to put the lime...

A Glass of Milk -- “Whaddya mean there aren’t any cows in Koprulu? Where’d this come from then?“

The Solar Shot -- For those looking for a good time. Flame-proof clothing recommended, cuz you’ll be shining brighter than the star of Typhon.

Korhalian BackStabber -- Good for the recently betrayed and left for dead.

The Jail Breaker -- new from the recently opened New Folsom Prison Bar.

The Bloody Medic -- kills the pain, but we still say you should have a doctor check that out.

Redstone Mixer -- expensive, but I can guarantee it’ll be served in a clean and sterilized glass. Careful, that lava’s hot.

The Broadcaster -- You’re not ready for the raw $ex appeal this sucker brings. A favorite of a certain ex-convict.

The Hellracer -- suspension of sobriety is an integral part of any drinking experience, but this experience requires suspension of sobriety and inhibitions.

The Maelstrom Shocker -- Only served here, a 40% bigger hit than standard Shockers, guaranteed.

Psionic Cooler -- yes, I know it feels weird. Don’t worry, the energy coming out of your body should wear off in a couple days

(insert generic letters to indicate gibberish) -- I don’t know what’s in it either, but that guy down there had one. He started screaming and thrashing for a while, and now he hasn’t gotten up off the floor in over an hour.

The Judicator -- Perfect for influencing the minds of the intoxicated.

Prismatic Void -- Gets better with every drink. Has been known to be lethal.

Mind Shredder: perfect for those wishing to forget everything and start a new life. For anyone not wishing to do this, this drink isn’t advised.

Scotty Bolgers old no. 8: the good stuff

Andorian Ale: Can’t tell you how I got this, its a trade secret.

Charge: Made using stim and several other ingredients. Side effects vary.

Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer): If you really want to feel hammered, this is for you. Served with a side of hot lead.

Enlightenment: tell me when you get there.

Marine: may cause you to see the counter vanish

Feedback: served cold. All those annoying voices in your head start telling you what you did wrong today.

M.U.L.E.: Good buzz, but may cause a break down later.

Haven Splitter: you’ll either feel warm, safe, and content, or depressed, paranoid, and possibly like injecting yourself with random serums. 50/50 shot.

Ace Suicide: I don’t actually know what this does. Nor do I recommend it.

Alcoholic Projector: Ever wanted to know what you’re actually like when you get totally trashed? Take a few sips of this, and all the alcohol in your system will condense into a ‘party’ version of yourself, where you are completely wasted, have no inhibitions, and are just out for a ‘little’ fun. The more you’ve drunk beforehand, the better the projection. Have fun!

The HBRB: however crazy you think you are, this will make you worse. Yes, that includes you, namesake.

The Noodle Incident: we all know what happens when you take this. It needs no explanation.

Little bit of everything: Exactly what it says. I’ve taken everything I’ve got, mixed it together, and put in the laser accelerator for a few hours. There’s no telling what will happen.

Slicer: Has the unique property that it changes effect depending on the drinker's personality, amplifying any traits they have a good thousand times over. Buzzes in the back of your skull begin after three drinks, amplify slowly, and you randomly sprout wings after the 11th glass.

The Scoutmaster: May result in the drinkee feeling experiencing high levels of Trustworthiness, Loyalty, Helpfulness, Friendliness, Courtesy, Kindness, Obedience, Cheerfulness, Thriftiness, Bravery, Cleanliness, and Reverence. Not Recommended for parties.

Mar Sara Black: need a pick me up, or something for radiation poisoning? Or jut something to get a good buzz going that doesn’t break down? Then say good night, because we won’t be seeing you until the morning. If you wake up.

The Smylez: This beverage is delicious, trust me. Drinking it will have absolutely no harmful effects on you (please ignore the green smoke), and your liver and kidneys will not be damaged in the least. Seriously.

The Nukester Supreme- Don't mind the green, glowing mist coming out of the straw. Very sharp and stinging taste, very critical repercussions. Comes with a complimentary led cup.

The Lightyear- This drink will take you the distance

Justice Juice- Definitely not recommended for people with a... questionable history

Drink accessories:

pylon shards (for those that need that extra crunchy glitter)

hydralisk spine umbrella (not for the more bubbly drinks)

Mentos: you’ve seen that experiment with Coke? Wait till you see what happens with this stuff.

Pylon Powered Jellybeans- A classic now made available to the public. The extra energy may make you a little skiddish.

Popsicles- Served frozen. Use to get those oh-so-elusive creative juices flowing.

Laser accelerator: Heh heh, you think you’ve had it all? Time for a little ‘randomosity’. Maximum time of one week.

The menu will updated every so often, so check back to see if there is anything new you might like to try. There are only two rules here. Firstly: If anyone starts a bar fight I will either:

1) throw you into the pen of Roaches I keep in the back. I feed them regularly, but you know how voracious Zerg are

2) personally blow your head off, and use your dead body to make new drinks

and 2: what happens in the bar, stays in the bar.

So come. Drink. Enjoy. Chat with friends. Make new ones. Pick up a date [or a one night stand ;) ]. Drown your sorrows. Complain about your life. For those of the literary bent, use this opportunity to get the creative juices [among other things] flowing.

As long as you pay your tab, and don’t break anything, I really don’t care what you do. And the best part is: no hangovers!
---Reserved for Bar History & Events---

Thundercrash starts it. (Thundercrash PRP bar)

I take it over. (Zanon's PRP Bar, parts 1-4)

Thundercrash takes it back. (Thundercrash Bar Dimension)

I take it back (Zanon's PRP Bar, parts 5-7)

I leave for a few days, and will it to Draconus (The New Bar, Parts 1-2)

Smylez hijacks the new bar. (Chaos)

Zanon's PRP Bar (Parts 8-15)

Thunder's and Zanon's PRP Bar (Parts 1-5)

The Dime and Spectre: KnarledOne's PRP Inn

Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 16-26)

KnarledOne's PRP Bar

Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 27-28)

Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 29) - Note: Started and run by KnarledOne

Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 30-31) - Note: Zanon is back... Again.

Heaven becomes Agravain.
A new holiday drink is added to the menu.
We run out of Popsicles.
MarkusDaWiseThaneKriosSpacePirate announces his retirement.


::Persona:: --This will have it's own post in the next bar---


Dossier: The Tyrant

The Emperor Zanon has acquired many epithets over the years and he is the most powerful man in the sector and the few who rise up against him have been met with swift and cold "justice", for nothing is more important to him than Order. Intelligent, calculating, charming, and above all, confident, the Emperor is quite savvy when it comes to dealing with any problems.

He is in possession of Aiur's Kitchen, perhaps the most powerful battlecruiser in existence. It is more than capable than standing on its own against multiple behemoth class battlecruisers. When supplemented by the A.I Discord, a personal confident of the Emperor, Aiur's Kitchen combat efficiency shoots through the roof. His official record in battle shows him with a 100% win rate.

Many experienced commanders also serve under the Emperor throughout the years though they've been slipping slowly away from the public's eyes since there isn't much fighting going on anymore.

Lately, the emperor's mood has taken a dark turn. He has returned home after a brief skirmish at the bar and he has been silent about the matter.

Dossier: The Teacher

Thundercrash was once an active member of Order before he retired and left for the unknown. He played an integral part in the ascension of Zanon to the throne. Indeed, he was the original bar keeper and gave it to Zanon when he felt it was right. It was the best decision he had ever made prior to his disappearance. Not even Zanon knows where his mentor is. He is the most knowledgeable person in dimensional travel.

Dossier: The Roach

KnarledOne, Middle sibling of Nareld Wun the Younger and GnarledOne the Elder, cares for one thing only. His sole motivation is money. Much of his method of obtaining money involves get rich quick schemes much to the annoyance of GnarledOne who is otherwise running a successful company. The only reason KnarledOne's schemes are tolerated (indeed, it is a miracle how the elder brother didn't put him in a mental institution or choked the roach to death out of pure frustration) is because they generally open up a profitable venture for the company to take advantage of.

The roach is no fighter but for whatever reason, KnarledOne's body is impervious to almost all manners of harm. How the body was acquired is unknown but some say it was a result of sinister modifications of a certain Empire experiment.

Dossier: The Outlaw

The Outlaw known simply as "Nukester" has rose up against Order at every opportunity present to him and every single time, he was captured, jailed, ridiculed, and release simply for everyone to laugh at his expense. He is considered to be an insignificant threat to the empire. He is seen by others as a Fool, and many consider him to be far too egotistical to see that he is in no way dangerous. All those time "escaping" a lifetime of jail has probably gone over his head.

He has tried to make a name for himself at "GD" but his efforts were only met with ridicule too...

Dossier: The Gunslinger

A no-nonsense stone cold mercenary, Zarkun is never seen without his preferred weapon of choice: a 6 round revolver. Deadly accurate with the revolver, he has adhere to a philosophy of always shoots first and ask questions later. In his eyes, there is no diplomacy. There is only lead. Though considered brutish by many, they do not deny that his methods are chillingly effective.

Dossier: The Immortal

Animus, an immortal hailing from the unknown region known as "GD" which is far from the influence of the Empire. "GD" is the most dangerous, untamed, and uncharted region of space and few dare tread there willingly for it is a monster that will break even the stoutest of men. There is no room for weakness in "GD".

This particular immortal has participated in numerous skirmishes and the experience made him stronger. Fighting for an organization called CG whose objective is to establish control of "GD" against three other equally sized organization, he has won all of his campaigns thus far save for 1 against a deadly Zerg foe. Such experiences only made him a stronger commander; he is very versed in full scale invasions.

The most recent activity in this sector was a skirmish with the Emperor. However, the immortal has disappeared, presumably back to "GD".

Dossier: Aspect of Insanity

The first of the three and favors a form of a changeling. In its prime it has seen many exploits across the sector and even splitting itself into multiple clones who contributed to the chaos in their own right. The changeling and its spawns has sowed chaos and anarchy throughout the empire; even the Emperor had trouble containing the changeling's powers. However, it grew bored in time and subsequently hid itself away in the safety of its realm.

Dossier: Aspect of Hate

It is uncertain whether it is the second or third of the three. Favoring the form of a Protoss warrior, it looked up to the changeling for inspiration. The result was a being that hated everything and disposed of everything in the most gory fashion. If every atom of its being was engraved with the word hate would it not equal to the 1 zillionth of the hate it feels for everything. It favors pulling victims to their demise in its realm of destruction. It has challenged the Emperor several times in the past but each time it was defeated decisively.

Dossier: Aspect of Absurdity

The second or last of the three, most will say the second. This one favored the form of a hybrid reaver though it was not uncommon for it to assume the form of a handsome doctor. The most social yet enigmatic of the three, it rarely killed for the fun of it. Instead, it preferred utilizing cryptic and bizarre machinations to carry out its goals. A consequence of this is that its actions are completely unpredictable, ranging from bombastic to absurd to ingenious, much to the chagrin of many. It acquired a habit of gathering livers for whatever reason.

It has disappeared, seemingly permanently, and in doing so, given up its position. A void was left in its place ever since.
03/24/2014 10:41 AMPosted by Zanon
We run out of Popsicles.

Knarled, yes, it can be good. Over here we put pepper jelly over creamcheese and then use crackers with it. Delicious according to the family.

And Zarkun, if we aren't allowed to make friendly jabs over the internet, we wouldn't be what you humans call 'internet buddies'. I believe that is the term you humans use.

Knarled, on another side not... How go the Vodkalings? I vote we should add Whiskeylisks.
Back off man, I have a patent on those Whiskeylisks.
TIL Pepper jelly is a legit thing.

"You humans". Are you an ascended being or something? A bot perhaps?
Zarkun, maybe you should have made them before I did.
-Whiskeylisks prowl the bar in a drunken slither-

Animus, maybe... Perhaps both. Am I but a Red Bird, a Crimson one in fact in ideology and in the soul or is my shape of that of a robotic or synthetic being? I'm not completely sure but it's either one or the other or even both. Perhaps it is science! Yes... magical science that is sciencey and magicky
"I did make them." My own slither in, considerably larger than CR's. "Been around longer."
Please, bigger is not always better. One must clearly look at what the role is meant to be. But anyway... I guess I can try out Rum or Scotch Zerg.
Gets a single application for RP. No word from Warhawk ever since! I've inherited the KO curse!!!!! Oh well, at least its a thing I'm still interested in expanding.

03/24/2014 11:28 AMPosted by CrymsonRaven
Animus, maybe... Perhaps both. Am I but a Red Bird, a Crimson one in fact in ideology and in the soul or is my shape of that of a robotic or synthetic being? I'm not completely sure but it's either one or the other or even both. Perhaps it is science! Yes... magical science that is sciencey and magicky

"Say that again when I am really drunk. Maybe I'll be drunk enough to make sense of it."

"Well, my x-rays show me that they both lack livers for some reason. Defective products?"

Ah, Vodkalings. SF and I made those back when he was Plasmaman (and, incidentally, sane).

03/24/2014 11:24 AMPosted by Animus
TIL Pepper jelly is a legit thing.

Your life has been sad and deprived. Go buy some!
Animus, I will tell you once more on a later date when you feel suffienctly drunk enough to make sense of my coded code talk of codes.

As for the Whiskeylisks... I don't know but probably. When it comes to science, there can be quite a bit of tiral and error.

Animus, I have recently just came back from a deep and terrible self hermitence. What is this RP you speak of?

Knarled, I would have to agree on you with that. Now on a side note... Whiskeylisks? Yes, no? Or should we go more Italian and grab the Winelords?
Thank you oh Animus of the Immortal Shell.
All hail self promotion! It finds me RPs I thought were stillborn!
03/24/2014 12:23 PMPosted by KnarledOne
All hail self promotion! It finds me RPs I thought were stillborn!

Well, this is the actual RP...

As you can see, it's just me writing a story so far. But I don't mind it so much. Quite enjoyable.
Cool, cool. And if you'd all direct your attention to the TV, our favorite Zerg organism paid me to run an ad...

The TV lights up, the words Kay-Oh! scroll across the screen, and a glass of bluish liquid is shown sitting on a bar counter.

"Drink, Popsicle. Useful to cause motion in productive liquids. Dispensed from entity 'Zanon's PRP Bar.' Supply depleted. Solution available."

The screen shows Abathur in his Evolution Pit.

"Can spin new Popsicle sequences. Require three volunteers for mini-RP, Popsicle Evolution Mission. Sign up. That is all. Device 'camera' can be disabled."

The TV resumes its usual program.

Popsicle Evolution Mission:
03/24/2014 11:38 AMPosted by KnarledOne

Lies. I was never sane. I just felt I had to suppress it... Now it runs wild.

Are you gonna drink that Zergling?

Also, I noticed people were talking about "having lives" and saying everyone has one... I take offense that you spoke for me! I have no such thing!

Oh, and Animus? Why hate? Why not Senseless Destruction? I don't usually give off my hatred unless the human race pissed me off again. !@#$ing Russia.

And lastly, what is happening with us in Kay-Oh! currently? I seem to be far-far behind and am lazy.
You actually aren't very far behind. You're still in the nether regions of the Guild Worldship, where lurk the sellers of unfortunate substances. You were accosted by a person trying to sell you something. I'll link the post...

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