New Dawn (Unfinished)

Joeyray's Bar
2504 AD
Alpha Centari Squadron
Flagship Battlecrusier Marksus III
2 days before invasion of Char...

It's quiet now, but none of us can sleep. The rhythmic hum of the engines is the only solace we can keep before the hellish nightmare that awaits us on Char. Too many of us still hear the screams of the dying, the eerie screeches of the zerg infestation through the night. The horrors I have seen, are enough to last a lifetime. I see my fallen allies twisted and deformed into some mutated abominations, striking with brutish hate that wells up from inside.

There is no escape from this demented reality. You can not prepare for a creature like the zerg, they are beyond any sort of reason. They will come in incalculable numbers and never stop, never tire. Relentless, soulless, without moral fiber. They are the ultimate killing machine created for one reason...to destroy.

This time we're on their planet and trying to take out the queen !@#$% of them all. Kerrigan. How we're going to pull this is beyond any of us. We can only pray now, and come to the slow realization that most of us won't make it back. Some of the fresh meat can't handle it, crying into their pillows and throwing up their rations into the cold stalls. But this is what we trained for. The rest of us have mission that needs to be accomplished and the only way you survive against zerg is keeping a cool head.

(Started this a few months after sc2 release but never finished it. What do you guys think?)
Anyone?
It's pretty good so far. Most of us are asleep/at school/at work right now though, so expect more feedback later on.
Cool, cool. I'm just thinking though. Is it an RP or a story?
Story, most likely.
I think you should rename the flag ship -_-
What's wrong with the name?
it is just Markus with the last syllable added again. Make it Nikolala III and we will see how you feel :P
I would be honored to have a ship named after me :3

And like they said, they wrote this a long time ago. They didn't mean it as a jibe towards you :P
I know, its still weird. I dont really care though I just had to say something.
Yeah its just a story. I usually write pretty graphic stuff so if I ever end up reworking it there will be a lot of interesting action on char. I just might rename the ship, but its unfortunate that its similar and you dislike it haha.

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