The King of Pirates - Story

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Lt. Scout is getting assassinated and nobody has anything to say? xD
Ready for the next part anybody? Boy, you guys sure are slow readers. xD

lol jk.
I'm good. I think I'll have my char demand to speak with Scout.

“Keith, speak to me!” Thomas yelled at Lt. Scout’s unconscious body. The bullet had passed right through his body armor and entered his torso with ease. There were no signs that the bullet had made an exit.

“Lieutenant, say something!” Thomas couldn’t wipe the frown off his face. He looked around to see if there was anyone who could help him. No one. For once in his life, Thomas felt alone. His wife was billions upon millions of miles away and Keith was losing his pulse. Thomas picked Lt. Scout up with the fireman’s carry and headed for the elevator. Thomas could feel the warm blood trickling down his back. Thomas was trying to fight back emotions while carrying a bloodied man through a hotel, must have been a sight to see for everyone else. Police sirens were heard at a distance as officers started walking to the elevator. Finally, two intercepted him,

“Get a stretcher!” The police officer yelled. Medical staff rounded a corner and came running to Thomas. Thomas groaned as he laid Lt. Scout on the stretcher. The paramedics ran back to their speeder and put Lt. Scout in the back.
“Wait, wait-“ Thomas called, following the paramedics. A police officer stopped him with a hand to the shoulder,
“Let them go, Son. They don’t need you breathing over their shoulders.” Thomas bubbled over with anger. He wanted to rip the officers head off and run after Kieth, but better judgment out ruled him. More medical personal came and lay Thomas down on a stretcher. He wanted to fight, but couldn’t pull himself to. His muscles seemed weak and pretty soon Thomas was losing grip on reality. Thomas was trying to stop them, but his body either didn’t move, or he couldn’t tell that it moved. Either way, Thomas lost sight of reality before he could tell which.


Samantha banged her fist upon her desk in anger. Her brown eyes flared with frustration. She removed her fist from the desk and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Pulling her shoulder blade length brown hair behind her ear she looked up at Dave. Dave had blonde hair cut in a flat top. His blue eyes darting back and forth as he read the message His muscular chest pulsing up and down heavily. The boss was not happy to hear about their failure to assassinate Lt. Scout. He had just sent a reply message and Dave’s facial expression showed it wasn’t a friendly re-assignment. The room was dark in the small motel. Weapons, maps, plans and messages lay scattered throughout the room. The motel was owned by a certain someone who agreed to not keep that room clean. The house-keepers walked right by the room and onto the next.

Dave sighed and looked up at Samantha. Their eyes met for three seconds before Dave broke the silence.
“We’ve been given a second chance.” Dave said with his deep, commanding voice. He almost sounded like a soft batman if he wanted to and you closed your eyes. Samantha exhaled deeply in relief.
“We can’t fail this time.”
“We won’t.”

9896/10,679 Words posted in total.
Didn't post more because I am contemplating going backwards with the story. I might have made it turn for the worst and if so I dont want to have to edit here.

Edited in simple grammar...
Now I want to know the truth, just a simple yes or no question.

Is this story any way, shape or form intertwined with the RP and that is why you were getting a little defense?

It's this theory I've been coming up with, it's a theory on if this story and the RP takes place at the exact same time.
Your theory is correct. They take place at the same time.

11/26/2012 03:54 PMPosted by CrymsonRaven
Is this story any way, shape or form intertwined with the RP and that is why you were getting a little defense?

The RP is based on the story. So yes, in every way shape and form it is intertwined with the RP.

Bahaha. A little defensive? I was more defensive then the Terrans on char! You really didn't know they were the same story?

11/26/2012 03:54 PMPosted by CrymsonRaven
It's this theory I've been coming up with, it's a theory on if this story and the RP takes place at the exact same time.

They do take place at the exact same time... That's why you have a slight advantage in reading it. (From reading the story you'd know that Lt. Scout just got assassinated, you'd know Luis' tactics, etc.)

11/26/2012 03:54 PMPosted by CrymsonRaven
Now I want to know the truth, just a simple yes or no question.

Don't blame you. To put it in the simplest answer I can muster: Yes, you just figured that out?
I will when more people are ready. Glad you're keeping up though.
Nice writing man :P
Thank you Morph. That means a lot. I wish others would give feedback, even if it was bad feedback.

I feel it is too fast. Im 16 pages in and there is so much in those 16 pages!
:P I'm off for the night now
I would love for more detailed feedback. How is my character development? Who is your favorite character and why? If you dont have a favorite character, why? Am I going too fast? Too slow?

So many questions that I have that go unanswered.

“Clear!” A familiar voice shouted behind Keith. Keith leveled his Standard issue SR-22 rifle at the door and approached it carefully.
“Delta 45, what is your position?” Mission control rang through Keith’s earpiece. He fought back emotions and ignored it. His family’s life was on the line, this was no time for official ties.

Darkness overwhelmed Keith’s mind, but he fought it off.

“Door breach; position two!” Keith heard his own voice ripple throughout his ears. Lt. Scout’s eyes drifted across the hall. The control room lay on just the other side of the door. This was it. Now was the time to be the heroes Serene needed them to be. Delta squad 45 positioned for a door breach exactly how they had been trained to. Hudson was on the left, Phil on the right and one other behind each of them. Lt. Scout was first to enter along with… Keith couldn’t remember who was next to him. All he could remember was he had extremely overwhelmingly strong feelings about him, some good, some bad.

Keith swiftly punched in the code to the door and it glided in two. He raised his rifle and made the entry. Two enemy soldiers turned around just in time to see Lt. Scout rain a hail of bullets upon them. Bullets began coming his way as he rolled behind cover. Lt. Scout felt fear bellow up into his chest. It was like he knew the future and it held his death in its hands.

Lt. Scout winced at pain pulsing through his arm. He must have gotten hit because he couldn’t move it either.

He looked up to see Hudson behind cover slapping in a mag. His scowl complimented his determination to hold off this attack. Hudson peaked his head above the metal crate he was behind and then stood up. After getting a few shots off, Keith watched as many more slammed into him. Blood splattered the wall behind him and he fell to his knees. His eyes were quickly losing life as Hudson struggled to not fall over. Keith wanted to jump up and scream. He wanted to kill those who killed Hudson in cold blood. A million thoughts passed through Keith’s mind, but he just sat and watched. Out of all the actions he could have taken, he chose to do nothing.

Keith’s eyes then darted to someone who was head first diving behind the same crate Scout was. The man looked up with his blue eyes and Keith recognized him as Phil. Phil began shouting something at Keith, but he heard nothing. Just to the left of Phil’s head, a squad member was unloading his rifle down range with a sneer on his face. Keith heard a small clinking sound he identified as metal against cement. A grenade with a missing pin rolled in between the man’s legs and detonated. The man’s screams overwhelmed Keith’s ears like a terrible nightmare. Debris came spewing from the explosion and a large chunk of metal tore into Phil’s face. His screams then overwhelmed Keith’s ears.

Pain swallowed Lt. Scout whole as he found himself soaring through the air. He met the pavement with a thud and rolled a few feet farther. Darkness ate his world as gunfire and explosions deafened his ears. The image of Keith Scout’s wife flooded his mind and Keith couldn’t stop his eyes from misting. Lt. Scout tried to pick himself up. His arms shuddered at the weight and he collapsed onto the floor again. Lt. Scout’s eyes drifted towards the large window in the control room. Warships were clearly visible from the ground. Their daunting presence cast a shadow on the city. Keith’s home. Serene.

Blood spilled out of Keith’s lips and he closed his eyes and allowed the consciousness in him to leave his body. Where the hell is Omega 72? They were supposed to have already cleared the control room! Lt. Scout heard his mind say.


“No!” Lt. Scout bolted up, pain overcame his body and mind and he fell back down. Keith lay in a puddle of cold sweat on a hospital bed. He tried to control his breathing but to no avail. Waves and waves of emotions crashed into him like a tsunami as he tried to fight them off. Lt. Scout’s eyes darted back and forth. He had relived that torturous memory once again, except this time, more vivid. Way more vivid. Lt. Scout looked around the room. It was dark, a heart monitor stood to his right. A medical service droid was deactivated in the corner. A curtain cut the room in half. The cold nipped at his skin. A small window displayed a starry night outside. Lt. Scout shut his eyes tightly. He couldn’t help but cry. The emotions overpowered his will and he began to sob silently. Every sob he let out was a strike of pain throughout his body starting with his back.

Lt. Scout reflected current events as they flashed through his mind. He had just been assassinated. Or someone attempted to assassinate him anyways. Thomas was… Thomas! Where was he? Was he okay? There was no way to tell from here. The last Keith remembered of him… he was the target of a sniper. Had he died? Was Keith left alone to defeat Captain Luis? Keith didn’t know if he could go on without Thomas. In that very moment Luis realized just how important Thomas was to Keith. Not only did Keith view him as a friend, but a son. Thomas had stuck with him like stickiness on glue. Through thick and thin, Thomas endured. Even when his family was threatened Thomas willingly obeyed Lt. Scout for the greater good. The Black Peace were attacking where his parents lived on Goldival. Lt. Scout was given the option to pursue the lead on Captain Luis’ position or go defend Goldival. Keith let his hatred for Luis drive him and he pursued him. Thomas submitted to Lt. Scout’s judgment even though it would mean his parent’s lives. Luckily the sacrifice was not in vain, Lt. Scout proceeded to destroy Luis’ flagship after Captain Frank Shaw was KIA aboard the Justifier.

To this day Lt. Scout debates with himself whether that was a good decision or not. Thomas seemed okay with it. He did save more lives by stopping Luis then he would have protecting Goldival right? Lt. Scout opened his eyes half way and looked at the ceiling through tear filled eyes. Weariness finally took over as Lt. Scout allowed his eyes to shut completely. After half an hour of crying softly to himself, Keith fell asleep. Lt. Keith Scout was now in the most vulnerable position he could be in, and everybody knew it.

11,000/11,718 Words posted in total.
0.o he survives :P
i personally think your doing fine with ... *trails off into oblivion*
anyway keep up the good writing please
I couldn't bring myself to kill him so early.
The next segment is where Luis allies with the Kalavaris. Im still working on it, gimme a day or two.

The “Voyager,” a well armored task ship, made it’s way through the cold dark reaches of space. The ship was white with a Black Strip down the sides. Its three large engines glowing with blue flame as the fusion combusted. The ship had a crew of twenty. After an hour of warp jump the ship slowed to a halt above Bolnaris(bowlnaris). A barren wasteland of a planet, but if Luis’ sources were right, it was the home of the Kalavaris. The Kalavaris were bio-mechanical hybrids that have existed in silence from the Separatists point of view. They were fairy tale creatures that only existed in far parts of the sector. Luis knew better. After sending a few ships, life signs were found on Bolnaris. Luis himself went in person to meet them. The story goes, they had powerful warriors, and hated humans. Luis’ plan was simple, convince their “High-Queen” that they had the same goals, then make an alliance. If they shared some of their technology, Bio-Mech warriors could be plausible in Luis’ army, perfect for pirates who lose limbs.

It was a dangerous task, but Luis thought it was worth it. General Collins advised highly against going alone, Luis went anyways. Typical, Luis didn’t like authority. He never did. That is why he always has the final say in any matter within the Black Peace. His method if they refuse? Beat them until Luis forgets why he is beating them, or death. Whichever came first.

Luis awoke to the Captain over the intercom.
“Landing in 5” He said. Luis sighed and clapped twice. The lights in his cabin turned on, illuminating the room. Luis showered and did his usual hygienic thing. For a pirate Luis was very formal, official and professional. If classy-pirate were an award, Luis would have won it every day for the past ten years. Luis dressed in his usual combat armor with a trench coat over it. Luis set his black tri-corn hat comfortably on his head and grinned in the mirror. He winked at himself and walked out of his private quarters. He paid no attention to the grease monkey who saluted nervously as he walked by. Luis didn’t even offer him a glance. Walking into the crew’s living quarters he assessed three men laughing around a table. Luis approached the table and it fell silent. Without a facial expression he slowly turned his head to face one of the crew members. The man was big and had a bowl of warm cereal in his hands.

“Back to work.” Luis said with his thundering voice. The three men scrambled out of their seats at Luis’ words and speed-walked in different directions. The man with the bowl had abandoned his meal and left it spinning on the table. Luis looked at the corridor the man had disappeared into, then back at the bowl. Assessing the fact that he wasn’t coming to retrieve his meal any time soon, Luis took the bowl in his left hand and gripped the spoon in another. He then continued his journey to the command bridge. Luis enjoyed abusing his power and did so at every turn.

When the command Bridge’s door opened, the Captain, the pilot and Amber stood around the “Terrain Table” The Terrain table was a grid of the Terrain in five miles every direction from the “Voyager” The one thing noticeable was the man-made giant door at the bottom of a mountain. Captain Jeff Tali, Ivan Par, the pilot, and Amber Rose, his personal assistant, turned to face Captain Luis as he entered the command deck.

Rachel was Luis’ personal assistant. She became more than a personal assistant when they got too “personal.” When Luis was branded a rogue for the events on Serene and became a pirate and the leader of the Black Peace. Rachel was disgusted by Luis’ evil deeds and fled. Luis, however, was still in need for a personal assistant. Luis found Amber Rose as a suitable replacement. She had short red hair that complimented blue eyes and a face that looks like it was carved by angels. She became an invaluable tool for Luis’ “revival.”

“Welcome to Bolnaris, Captain Pintail.” Amber said with a wry smile, “Be careful down there.”
“Careful is my middle name.” Luis replied without offering any of them a glance. Amber frowned,
“Careful is definitely not your-“
“How would you know?” Luis asked with a drill. Amber exhaled deeply and put her weight on one leg and her hands on her hips. Luis began walking past them to the shuttle bay after examining the Terrain Table for a few seconds.

“Your middle name is luck.” She said with a smile.
“I guess we’ll find out, wont we?” Luis said, climbing into the shuttle bay.
“Luis, how disappointed would you be if the great Captain Luis Pintail died because an angry cyborg ripped his throat out?” Luis frowned,
“I don’t think I would care at that point.” He said, opening the shuttle’s door. Amber chuckled,
“Just be careful okay?”
“You have my word.” Luis assured with eye contact.
“What good is the word of a pirate?” Amber asked with a sarcastic tone.
“Better than the word of a man without a throat.” Captain Luis said, comfortably seating himself in the co-pilots seat. Amber shook her head. That was typical Captain Luis for you. “We’ll be monitoring your vitals from here.
“You mean you’ll be stalking me from here. Thanks, very comforting.”
“It’s a safety precaution, we want to know how you’re doing.” Amber argued.
“Don’t worry, I will be able to radio you and get out by the time anything that bad happens.”
“Not if your throat is ripped out.” Amber said, rotating her head slightly. Captain Luis sighed and looked back,
“Good bye, Mrs. Rose.”
“Good bye Captain.” She said with a sigh as she walked out. The shuttle pilot walked passed her and sat in the pilot’s seat. The shuttle door closed remotely and the door shut before Amber could see the rest.

“That man scares the spacer out of me.” Captain Jeff Tali said, stroking his brown beard that went from his sideburns into a goatee.
“He’s not that bad once you get to know him.” Amber said with a half shrug.
“Assuming he doesn’t beat you to death first.” Jeff said examining the strange door on the Terrain Table.
“Just stay on his good side and you’ll be fine.” Amber said, joining Jeff in examining the table.
“If the money wasn’t so good I wouldn’t have joined.” Jeff said rubbing the back of his neck. Amber examined Jeff’s eyes carefully. They both knew very well that the pay-check for each individual pirate had decreased juristically from the time Luis had begun constructing his army. Amber could only hope but wonder what his intentions were.


12,185/12,185 Words posted in total

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