In Honor of PKA(side stories)

Joeyray's Bar
....
The academy is sadly finishing, and I would like to give it some kind of memorial. So....
Welcome To PKA's side stories, where we create humorous events that could have happened in The Academy if it wasn't cut short, or even prologues and epilogues.
Let me first clarify.
This is not A Roleplaying thread, it is a story thread.
Anyone can post a story involving any character in PKA, but if you do so, please try to keep the characters in, well, character and provide feedback to the story posted directly above you. For example, I could write a story about something Cayl does, even though he isn't my character. For easy cataloging, please write the story number on the top of the story.

I'll start it off.
Story number one- The kitten
It was a normal day at the academy. Kasora the lurker was going off and teaching his broodlings how to take pictures, while the rest of the members were eating lunch. Some were eating in the cafeteria, but a few decided to eat in their room. Abel, of course was napping in his usual place above the lunch line, on top of his spear.
As Akia passed him by, she wondered. How deep was his sleep? She first decided to remove a permanent marker from her jacket pocket. After removing the cap, she taped it to a stick.
Slowly but surely she started to draw cat whiskers on Abel's sleeping face.
The entire cafeteria suddenly hushed. Everyone was staring, Raven was silently cheering. Cayl was watching with amusement. Shade was sticking out her tongue and silently mocking Abel.
Flint and Jessica stopped their conversation and just plain stared at what was going on.
Abel's face twitched slightly, but his eyes remained closed.
After a hurried dash to her room, Akia returned with a headband with fake cat ears attached to it, and a tail.
Akia slowly put on the cat ears, and clipped on the tail onto his belt loop.
Abel, at this point curled up into a tiny ball, making the resemblance even more hilarious.
Cayl was choking on his laughter, and Shade was only restraining herself because of Raven covering her mouth.
It was going well until Akia accidentally touched his belt where he kept his medical supplies.
Abel awoke in a righteous fury,
"Don't you dare touch my medical supplies!"
He said while pushing off the hand.
He slipped off of the spear he was sleeping on. He then noticed that everyone was laughing.
He turned around and looked at a mirror. His expression changed to one of bewilderment. It then transformed into one of anger, which looked completely hilarious because of the whiskers drawn on his face.
He started to step forward to Akia, tail twitching back and forth.

Two days later.
No one had seen Abel and Akia for about a day, and the rumors were flying all over the place.
Eventually one day at lunch, Abel walked into the room. Due to the cat whiskers being drawn with permanent marker, although faded, it remained on Abel's face.
Then something strange walked in after him. There was a cat with an indignant expression, dragging Akia behind it with a leash.
The cat was walking on its hind legs.
It meowed indignantly, as Akia curled up into a ball and napped. If anyone could speak cat, then they would interpret the meow as, "Abel! I told you I was sorry, switch my body back to its original state already! Put my soul back in the right body!"

Raven picked up the cat by its front legs and commented, "Aww! What a cute kitty!"
The cat stared at Raven with a withering look, and spat in his eye.
That was humerous... But don't use my people unless you know what they might actually do...
Anyway, who wants Chinese?

Never mind, just saw the big if... But seriously, who wants Chinese?
THAT was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLO<LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOOOL
2. A Love Never Meant to Be

That death ray of yours powers down to a tickle beam as you first gaze upon the voluptuous fox that approaches you. Your repulsion field immediately switches into an attraction field. You do not understand what is happening. The processors are operating at maximum efficiency to decipher this problem. Suddenly, you decide to become her guardian shield before the thought even registers within your memory banks.

You begin to destabilize as the beau comes into contact with you. Her hands embraces you. Your "eye" turns from blue to a deep, passionate red. Every driver within you overclocks. She presses herself onto you and whispers seductively, "Can you take me for a ride?"

You tickle her with your beam and motion her to hold onto you. She climbs on top of you and you float ecstatically. You fly high, not giving a damn about the world or your falling pieces. For it is only you and her that will be together forever.

Coming down for a rest next to the beach, the glamorous vixen tells you that she cannot be with you for any longer. You feel something strange inside of you. Perhaps...sadness, fear, loneliness...

But you do not let this stop you from declaring your undying love to this woman. You float up and aim your tickle beam into the heavens, showering the skies with firework and sunshine.

But alas, what the women said was true. You crumple to the ground, every circuit and board fried inside. For the sentry, a cold blooded, ridiculously overpowered, merciless killer was finally defeated by one thing no one expected.

It was love.
Could you please add a title and story number?
Like...
(Story number 2)-(insert title here)
Nice, I remember the first time you did that.
I can do so much with this if I have time.
Polychrome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you! Carry me home!
3. Who's the Best in the Classroom?
Part One
"Alright, alright, settle down and get in your chairs," the lurker said.

"What's this for Kasora? You never talked to any of us so why call a meeting today?" began Cayl Rios with a hint of disdain in his voice. The rather mysterious and unpredictable lurker always had something devious in his mind even if it was "playful."

"You simpleton, clearly there was something that I found of utmost importance that demanded our immediate attention," retorted Kasora.

Cayl scoffed. If there was anything that was of the utmost importance, it was getting out of the room as soon as possible before things got out of hand. He looked at his classmates.
They rolled their eyes and held their breath. Whatever it was that the lurker had in store, it was probably bombastic and insane.

"You see, since we are going to part and go our separate ways, I think that we should have a little ceremony of sorts," said Kasora.

Sighs of relief came off the student's chests. "That's it? This is what you called us for" asked Zaros.

"You sound disappointed Zaros," inquired the lurker, "Do you have a suggestion?"

"It sounds exciting and fun!" chirped Jessica. The whole class looked at her with horror. It was a terrible idea to encourage the lurker.

"Er...yea, can't wait! Go on Kasora, tell us your plans," replied Zaros.

The lurker chuckles. "So, here is my idea, we all vote for who is the number one student in this classroom and we get 3 votes in no particular order. Yes, that includes Abel and Marduk before they became teachers. My first vote goes to Logan."

The classroom looked confused. Logan? The new face? What did he do that was so special? Logan himself looked stunned. "Why, I'm speechless. I don't know what to say. Thanks for the vote Kasora! I keep hearing things about you but you seem really nice."

The lurker smirked. "Yes, I am sure you will be delighted to hear why I think you should be our number one Logan. Everyone, if you may turn your attention to the screen, I have a video that will demonstrate Logan's rather...eventful abilities. Mind you, I had to apply a filter to get the full image."

http://us.battle.net/sc2/en/forum/topic/7004340629?page=15

It was a video of Logan's rather uneventful encounter with Jessica, Marcus and Umbra. The majority of the class stifled their laughter. As the video continued, Logan's and Jessica's face grew redder and redder to the end. "Why are you showing this? That was humilating!" demanded Logan.

The lurker looked taken aback and genuinely surprised at the hostility shown by Logan, "You should be thanking me! This video clearly demonstrates your chivalrous, sanctimonious nature and you should be so proud of yourself! There she was, the forbidden fruit laying there naked and you did not give in! Such a great show of character! Perhaps Cayl and his order of righteous and celibate knights will love to take you in! Don't you agree?"

~To be continued in Part Two
2. A Love Never Meant to Be

That death ray of yours powers down to a tickle beam as you first gaze upon the voluptuous fox that approaches you. Your repulsion field immediately switches into an attraction field. You do not understand what is happening. The processors are operating at maximum efficiency to decipher this problem. Suddenly, you decide to become her guardian shield before the thought even registers within your memory banks.

You begin to destabilize as the beau comes into contact with you. Her hands embraces you. Your "eye" turns from blue to a deep, passionate red. Every driver within you overclocks. She presses herself onto you and whispers seductively, "Can you take me for a ride?"

You tickle her with your beam and motion her to hold onto you. She climbs on top of you and you float ecstatically. You fly high, not giving a damn about the world or your falling pieces. For it is only you and her that will be together forever.

Coming down for a rest next to the beach, the glamorous vixen tells you that she cannot be with you for any longer. You feel something strange inside of you. Perhaps...sadness, fear, loneliness...

But you do not let this stop you from declaring your undying love to this woman. You float up and aim your tickle beam into the heavens, showering the skies with firework and sunshine.

But alas, what the women said was true. You crumple to the ground, every circuit and board fried inside. For the sentry, a cold blooded, ridiculously overpowered, merciless killer was finally defeated by one thing no one expected.

It was love.
That's still just as hilarious as it was before. And almost accurate based on my hp total. I'm pretty sure someone riding on top of Ceas actually would kill him... lol.
Story number 4- An experiment gone wrong

Akia ran down the hallway, as fast as she could. “Why did it have to be this way, why did god do this to her”
She glanced up at the clock, “12:30, its lunchtime, I could run to the cafeteria and warn them what is coming. Why did the experiment have to go this way?”
Panting, she turned a corner. A black blur was running back and forth examining objects, and tiny cracks in the wall. Whenever the blur saw something it disliked, it moved and worked on it until it was perfect in its eyes.
She managed to slip into the cafeteria, and shouted “Everyone step away from the table!”
The people who were busy eating lunch, stared for a second and did what she said.
In one quick motion she slid the table in front of the door.
Cayl asked “What’s going on Akia?”
Akia coughed, then said “Medical experiment, Abel. He made a pill that gave him ADHD.”
The students recoiled in horror. The lazy Abel was already fast enough, what would he do when he was hyper?
From the airvent they heard a voice. A happy, slightly creepy voice. "Heee~ey"
The students gasped in horror. He was here.

To be continued
I approve of this. I love that my thread is deserving of something like this.

However, I have trouble finding the last thread, so I'm posting the final events here.

Iapetus, distracted and arrogant, decided to ignore myself and the trio of warriors who arrived from nowhere, and I got the platinum key into the massive chair. His grin turned to a furious grimace. He collapsed, returning to stasis. With that, the warrior trio vanished, as did di Carnal's return-fire duplicates that were not yet destroyed. I sadly turned to the remaining students. "Now, I complete the one and only year of the Academy's operation. I shall disable the artificial gravity in four hours. Pack up and feel free to say your goodbyes. Myself, Umbra, Jess, and Dani shall board the Vengeance. Kentel is kind of touchy-feely, and will give you all a goodbye hug. So, to use the terminology Marco would have attempted, au revoir." I wave one hand in salute, and the mentioned four vanish into thin air.

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