Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 17)

Joeyray's Bar
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What's going on in this thre-
Oh... I see.
*Steps into the Bar wearing Helghast Capture Trooper armor*
'Words are incoherent growls and... whatever the hell these noises could be described as'

Capture Troopers:
I regret to inform you all that I will be taking a leave of absence due to internet upgrades.

This may take as long as seven days, so try not to burn the place down.
I grab a Flood and pull him into the bar, ramming my knife into his forehead, killing him. "No promises, but we'll do our best."
I grab a flamethrower. "I'll try not to torch the place."
*places the napalm canister down*
'more guttural growls and roaring'
I glance over at Slender, catching the blade of a Flood and filling it full of holes. "You know, none of us speak Brute."
"No no no. SF you are doing it wrong." I sigh, and a series of plates form around my body, giving me a firebat suit with four hellion guns hooked to the two arms.
"WHO WANTS A COOKOUT!?!?!?" I yell, but most of it isn't understood.
I take a small circular device out of my pocket and walk over to slender offering the device. "Universal Translator. Should work and dont worry about it getting damaged because it has many different ways to remain unharmed."
I shake my head and toss a Pulse Grenade out the door, watching several Flood disintegrate. "Well, that was effective."
*Is not speaking Brute, is speaking Helghast Capture Trooper, which sounds more robotic and whatever*
I shrug. "Same difference. Regardless, no one speaks it."
I slap Jester and explode into flames, each one forming into a vaguely human shape. "I am not just shadows. I am also flames." The fires that are my bodies spit out flame in every direction, setting everything they hit on fire.
The fires are quickly extinguished, a very annoyed looking ThunderCrash guardian punting all the SF's to the moon. "That's new..."
I quickly turn to shadow as the oxygen starts to lack and reform. I look at the moon. "It could use another crater." I smash my fist into the ground and major seismic activity begins and a large crater is made with natural walls all around the crater. I boost myself off the moon back to the planet and smash in front of the bar in a fiery ball. I get up and dust my smoking form off and walk in. "Do you think I may have messed up any wave formations or the rotation of that satellite?"
"Nothing a few thrusters and a little terra-forming can't fix."
I look at it and shrug. "I have no idea if the craters have that kind of effect so not that I'm aware of."
I'm back. Again. And this time I'm in the creative mood. Perhaps a story is in order...
"Good to see ya Nick." I poke my head out, noting the lack of movement and I grab a drink, sitting down.
*The arms of the immortal slant upward, and the cannons shine into the sky... because I blew a hole in the roof*
"It is a mystery to me as to why no one else does this. I am capable of obliterating any aircraft."

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